this_pain_may_last_for_ever's Xanga Site

i really don't care...

this_pain_may_last_for_ever
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: faerie Country: United States State: California Birthday: 1/24/1990 Gender: Female Interests: being by myself gives me time to be by myself. that is something that makes me happy. Expertise: nothing. darkness is all around..... Message: message me Member Since: 11/27/2003

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Thursday, February 12, 2004

	new xanga...............http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=black_grave_yard
	8:58 PM - 1 view - 8 eprops - 4 comments - email it

i'm not gonna kill myself. it just sounds really nice sometimes. ...allthetime

my brother is an asshole. and so is his dog.

i was sick today. soreness from mucus. blah blah. boring day. i missed my friends. i got some math homework done. but i started to feel really crappy so i took a nap....then my grandma woke me up. home is too depressing. i think i will go to school tomarrow no matter what i feel like. uhm..today sucked. valentines day this saterday. never ment anything to me. guys are lame anyway. not really. i'm too lame to have a boyfriend. i try not to be interested.

i think i gained weight too. i'm so fucking fat and ugly....blah

7:54 PM - 1 view - 10 eprops - 7 comments - email it

Saturday, February 07, 2004

yes, i know i'm a bitch. whatever.

everyone is lying to themselves. and to me. and it's getting on my fucking nerves. do what you want. i will keep living. and you. all of you idiots will realise one day....one day....oh yes, you will. but.............. i will keep on living. and what the hell does it matter if i did commit suicide? it's not like you don't have someone else. other friends. loved ones. and whatever. plus, most humans annoy me. no offense. but you do. all of you. in your idiotic world.

and there are boys. i really don't get them. you think you understand but then some other shit happens. so, i will just sit here and watch all of you bastards be stupid. or i will learn something. out of my textbook. from school. which seems to be more productive. so that is what i will do.

"i called, but you weren't home. and I was sad." hahaha

ok, i said some pretty harsh things so yeah. i was just pissed. like always. anyway, you can be there for eachother and my ugly, fat self will sit in the dark corner of the room.

12:19 AM - 1 view - 10 eprops - 5 comments - email it

Friday, February 06, 2004

my life is finally at it's end.........

but it was only a dream.

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"hashpipe"

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people don't realize. how much I enjoy my life. and people get jealous. when they weren't there anyway. so I started a new part of my life. then they interfere. not really, i guess. i mean, the bluecherryberry you gave me was good.

I miss the fun times that seem to have been taken away with time. it was different. more free. we might not have much to talk about. but before..i didn't know the truth of it all. i never noticed. but the way you act.....around people. it breaks me. maybe not. it's ok. i wasn't meant to be anyway.

nan desu ka? to doko.

edit 1-time is 7:58

Perchè non potete amare una ragazza? perchè non posso leggere la
vostra mente? saprò mai? prego siamo più vicini.

7:13 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Thursday, February 05, 2004

	i'm such a lame ass
	10:15 PM - 1 view - 2 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Next 5 >>

Rain: You are the sound of rain. You have two important sides. There is your strong, powerful side and your calm, gentle side. Both are very important. Rain also reflects a bit of darkness in your personality. It isn't bad, just shows that along with the good, you also can see bad, which can come in handy. --------------------

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You have wings of STEEL. No one's really sure why, but at this point in your life you've shut off emotion to the point of extreme apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of the time...or perhaps you're just a good pretender. Next to impossible to get close to, even those who do never see the real you. It's entirely possible that YOU don't even know the real you. You have a certain fascination or attraction to destruction on a massive scale - disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much inside, one day you're simply going to snap. Then the mask will fall away, and your true wings will be revealed. Until then you will deal with whatever comes your way in icy bitter silence and acceptance. On the positive side, you are fearless and immeasurably strong - not much can crack through your defenses. You intrigue people, who can't help but wonder why you're the way you are. A loner and one who spends much of their time brooding and contemplating life and death - you are a time bomb waiting to explode and create some destruction of your own. ---------------------

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but its there, and your friends can see it. You constantly feel alone, and need to do things to fill your time. Your afraid to tell people this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad way, and you think you screwed up everything. And when you are in love is when you are sad the most. --------------------

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Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's beauty and just the life that no-one else sees. Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't mean you're not friendly! --------------------

Suicide! (and you know it, so... dont u have something to do?) --------------------

Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if? With a clever mind, you want to explore the world on a different level. Without the answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are most likely very creative and find yourself thinking things through on a different level.