This week was exhaustive, unlike China's open market. See, look what history has done to me. I stayed up till 1.30am yesterday to finish Chinese and study History. But I've got even more work this weekend. Joshua's social life is in ruins I say, ruins.

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS. Yesterday during the principal's talk I also found out that my GPA was 0.01 below the cohort's average, which is a severely dismal thing. But today wasn't that bad, considering I found out the subject combination I plan to take is the most popular Arts Stream Combination, which implies the chances of nj rejecting my subject combination are lower(:

For some reason or another, I think Ms. Rahaal doesn't like me. I mean she's really nice and all, but I really don't know why she seems to always pick on me. Maybe it was because I was talking during the Toa Payoh Geography Field Trip. But hey, we were walking, everyone was talking. Anyhow, today we were doing research in the Computer Lab; being the average student who's in touch with Information Technology, I signed in to msn to check my email and occassionally talk to some random people online.

I barely said Hello to Rayson, then went on doing research. Three minutes later, Rayson replied with a "Hey", but I stupidly forgot to turn off the volume. Then Ms. Rahaal sounded angry, and mel just had to say "WAH JOSHUA" so loudly. If you're seeing this Ms. Rahaal, I really didn't mean to slack during your lesson; I was really doing work, barely spending 20seconds looking at msn. And i did sign out immediately after you asked me to. I hope you don't fail me for CP, because I really pay attention in class!

On a lighter note, I was seeing how Nj Track did so far for nationals, and randomly decided to look up my primary school records since I never really saw them before. And here's the two records that made me realise how (un)pro i was in primary school:

My total ownage long jump is primary 6 that I screwed up the run-up for.

My first and last 400m race - look at the lovely timing and position.

Anyhow, I've got to go now. I'm only on to do R-cube Street Sales stuff and taking a break after dying doing the LA comprehension. Homework forces that something outtu'v you(:

First day of school; nostalgic and dreadful. We're excited to finally return to school, but we dread Chemistry. So during the toilet break, we go to the loo to compare our height differences and arrange ourselves in that order like in primary school. Then we unleash the utmost spasticity and take a shot to remember(:

I guess I'm happy with my results, with the exception of Math and Chinese. But I'm thankful i passed everything and got A's despite studying so late(: Thank You Daddy!

Finally, after two months of abstinence from hardcore fast food, nationals are over. I guess I'm happy with my long jump performance and I just need to focus on leg power now. As for running, today was the last race I'd ever want to run. I'm so going to full jumps next year, after bulking up my legs from now till then. I hate running.

At the same time, i read Shalom's blog and realised something,

I LOVE MY JUMPS GUYS!<3

I think this is going to be quite a long post. It all started off today morning, horrid. I went for training full of excitement and confidence, but unfortunately i didn't end it off the same way. If i overheard correctly, this Dunman High DSA girl was commenting that i was too short and "cannot make it one" for jumps. I'm not sure if it was because of her daunting remarks or because my run-up was wrong or simply because i wasn't feeling well, my jumps were horrible, way below expectations, whereas johnson could do it so easily even without prior experience. Being the overly-sensitive one, i probably lost confidence jumping then, and left with the voice telling me i can't do it. That was a very dismal thing, considering i really wanted to qualify for nationals' finals this year after working so hard. And this feeling, of course, dragged till i went to church, the MINDS outreach event.

Somehow or another, my brother came late and so i did the powerpoint today, and a guy in front caught my eye. His name's Kok Leong, 19. His energy, his enthusiasm, his passion and some sort of a flame within him that kept him going during worship and games. Then i realised i've been to pessimistic about life; and i've been dealing with things the wrong way. He didn't seem to care about anything. He just wanted to live the moment, and expressed such a joy that was pour forth from his every action. It got me reminded not just that i can think properly, i'm in a relatively good school no matter how much we complain, that i'm in a great family; that i am a child of The Most High. I forgot what it meant to feel that way, and i've been placing my trust, my hopes and desires in what i do to reach those goals. I've been trying to take the wheel on my own. He gave me my family, he gave me a brain that functions properly and wonderfully, what more work a miracle in my life even in track? In my weakness, His strength is made perfect - it never hit me so hard before. What's the stress? If i can really do it on my own, it won't bring much glory to Him, will it? It's time to chill out, let go, let God. Complete faith. He's seen me through so many things in my life that i thought i would never have gotten over with, but yet, He did. I'm fortunate enough to even be able to run, how can i dare ask to qualify or what not?

As i was talking to chris, he told me to take note of things that strike my spirit man during the day, and meditating upon them in the night. And eureka! As i was bathing, suddenly the scene of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe came to my mind. It was the scene in which the four were crowned. Jewels, and treasures stored in heaven? It never occurred to me much before this; But as i began to think about it, it wasn't just another movie reminiscience moment i had. It was something that spoke to me. At the end of it all, qualify, so what? GPA 3.6, so what? Score 3As and 1B, so what? I don't just want to live for the moment. Though i mentioned this earlier in this post as an analogy, i want to live, leaving behind a legacy, i want to live, to find my crown in heaven wonderful when i get it, proudly sitting beside Him. I don't want a dull, plain crown that doesn't record all my earthly records. I was planning to write a post scrutinizing the girl i mentioned earlier, but hey, that wouldn't get me a jewel, won't it? It's just that sudden passion to want to live rightly, this time for real.

Carrie Underwood's song ministered to me because it speaks of how the mountain we've been climbing is just a grain of sand. What i've been out there searching for forever is in my hands. He's given me everything i needed, and i've got Him in my life. When i figure out His love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else, seem so small - even though it's so easy to get lost inside, a problem that seems so big at the time, it's like a river that's so wide and swallows me whole.

Watching Leona Lewis' Footprintsinthesand music video; it really moved me. People in africa dying even though they don't deserve to; earthquakes all around. People happy just to live one last breath. But above all, it showed me that Daddy breathes life. If He can do that, what are nationals? Nationals are nothing; but He's everything.