| will you still love me after you've seen what i have done? +OHH and this isn't to make you feel sorry for me, its to let you know who i am.
im fifteen. im sad alot. im also happy alot. i have mixed feelings& i dont know what i want most of the times. i wish i was loved, in love, and was with a guy. i have trouble staying in relationships. they're habits tend to annoy me and i cant take them anymore so i break up with them. i like change. i am straight. i like this guy who probly doesnt like me anymore. i think everyone hates me unless they tell me they love me all the time. ive only kissed two guys my entire fifteen years of existance. i hate the first guy. i take excessive pictures. im racist. i hate arabs niggers jews and alot of spanish. but i dont hate my friends. up until last year i only had one friend. most of my friends are guys or gay girls. i dont like girls as friends because i've been hurt too many times. i lie alot. i hate it when people ask if in OKAY. no, im not. i wear too much make up. i let my feelings show too easily. im very sensitive. im jealous of couples. i want that happyness. im obsessive-compulsive. i cant stand things all over my floor. it has to be clear. it pisses me the fuck off. i could rip your face off. i have a bad temper. i make wierd faces. i only belive what i want to belive and hear. i have family problems. i hate most of them. everyone im getting to know more and more are fakes. im myself. im a cheerleader. im a rocker. you cant find many of me. im starnge. i like wierd things. i try not to be trendy but it happends sometimes. i have to shop you know. i act tough on the outside but im only a little girl. everyone wants to have sex so fast. dont you have to love someone before you fuck them? i dont belive in waiting till your married to have sex either but i'd like to wait maybe till im 16-17. most likely ill be a vergin for a while. you say im so pretty but i dont feel it. i feel like an ugly scum piece of shit. im depressed, most of the time. i cry too easily. everyone says im too imature. i like to flirt. i love kissing and hugging people but i think im a bad kisser. no one has said how i am though. i hate my name. its so girly. i wish my name was betty or holly. i want to cut my hair short, dye it black and move to ohio. i love science, i love new things but sometimes im scared to try them out because i dont know the outcome. i drink alchohol. i dont want to grow up and become a drunk but it might happen. i've smoked ciggerettes before. my last one was friday night. i've never smoked pot. i want to try it but i dont want to because i can hurt myslef. the only shoes i wear are my black chucks. i have bad feet but i love them so much i insist on wearing only them& nothing else. i love my friend sama and darren. they are amazing. im a bitch but they put up with me, thats why they're so great. i love darrens band, morbid terror. i hope they do great. i like they're drummer, mark. i hate having to do the talking all the time. i wish you could just talk to me, without me answering for alleast an hour. im pessimistic. i dont belive in god, heaven, hell, or anything above. religion is a crock of shit. its just made up so the world isnt chaotic, yet it makes it even harder to live. i only belive in angels or ghosts. people think im crazy because i see things. sometimes i know when somethings going to happen and when it does. i dont like it. you probly dont belive me what so ever. i dont care what people think of me. i dress wierd. im not a posour, im myself. if im a posour then what the fuck are you? i hate rap music, its not music, its speach therapy. i dont leave my house with out my makeup on. i love gum. i hate you. i wish i wasnt so alone. im way to skinny. i hate it when people think im anarexic. i eat way too much. i like spelling things wrong on purpose but when it comes to you doing it i hate it. i get pissed too easily. im a bit of a hypocrite at times. i hate when you cant say my last name. its not natalie its fucking natale. i hate cheering. i never wanted to do it, im forced to do things i dont want to do. my nick name is munchkin because im the most "innocent" and im the only vergin. i love drums and drummers. i like pretty boys but hardcore guys are haute too. i like attention. im confused, innocent, fucked up, bitch, best friend, lame, loser, rebelious, artist, teenager, punk, emo, whore, hardcore, cheerleader, misunderstood girl who you dont know, or dont want to know. if you know me, then your my best friend, and your name is samantha. i like running around making silly faces and noises, making fun of the stupidest things and just getting my natural high. im crazy, im addicted. Im Jessica.
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do you still want me? i didn't think so.
join my blogring.
80's kids all the way.
metrosexual.
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