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thisislizz
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Name: lizz
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Harrisburg
Interests: burritos, thrift stores, shoes, quentin tarantino, art, the 60's and 70's, tattoos, ikea, wes anderson, pennsylvania, interesting music, amusement parks, classic rock, perez hilton, and zombies.
Expertise: currently, cryptids and alien abductions. and bringin' xanga BACK!!!
Occupation: barista
Industry: sbux
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  synth a size her
Member Since:
12/9/2003
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| she likes the warm feeling, but she's tired of the dehydration. | | |
| i am not happy with my life right now.
i miss mike and andy a lot.
i don't know what to do. | | |
| i have 6 prints and 20 slides due in the next 2 weeks for my color class & i have only shot 2 rolls of film throughout the entire semester. i have no motivation to drag my camera around and photograph mundane activities in harrisburg. i have a 5 page research paper on portrait photography due on monday that i haven't started yet. i have a series of 5 drawings based on an artist that i must have completed by the end of november that i also haven't started yet. i have also yet to hand in any homework assignments whatsoever in that class. i have a huge project based on the science of photography that is due at the end of november and i have no topic for it. i also have a test on chapter 16 coming up in that class soon, but i have no idea when it is. it is possible that i missed that test altogether considering i skipped that class yesterday morning. i also came 30 minutes late for my thursday night class, and skipped my wednesday night class. i have one more semester of school left, but i am worried i will fail this semester, which will result in me failing out of 2 colleges in 2 years. i hate my major, but i have no idea what else i would major in because i detest every class i have taken besides art history.
i also have to find some way to get out of working thanksgiving weekend because my parents just decided today that we are going to niagara falls to celebrate thanksgiving this year. not only is it a pain in the ass to request off for an entire holiday weekend in advance, but now i have to do it when the schedule is already made. also, in my 20 years of life i have never celebrated thanksgiving anywhere but my house and i certainly do not want to drive 9 hours to spend it with people i haven't seen in over 5 years.
i spend every night from about 7pm until 1am at starbucks, sheetz or the diner with dani, dan, & jeremy. i like spending time with them. but every night i come home and see my filthy bathroom, my algae filled turtles tank, my dirty clothing piling up, and the layer of dust covering everything in my room. this makes me extremely sad, but i can't clean anything then even if i wanted to because usually i am exhausted, occasionally i am drunk, and if i woke my parents up at 2am for some reason, my dad will scream at me about how i am a disappointment of a daughter. every night i vow to spend the next day cleaning or doing all of the school work that i have yet to start, but every morning i wake up still exhausted and end up sleeping through my classes and sitting at starbucks waiting to hang out with my friends again.
i spend all of my cash on gas, cell phone bills, cigarettes, and food. and when i don't have enough cash then i take it out of my savings. i have been trying to save up for a car for months & i have just under $900 in the bank. however every time i bring the idea of buying a car up to my mom she tells me to talk to my dad. and every time i try to talk to my dad about it, he tells me there's no way i can afford it. thus i am forced to work around a routine that includes dropping off and picking up my mom and sister from school every day just so i can have the car to go to class. i can not even fathom having enough money to move out of my parents house before i am 35.
i got the flu about 3 weeks ago and i still don't have my voice back. i cough constantly. i've started getting intense headaches right behind my eyes that affect my balance. i'm pretty sure i have a cavity but i haven't been to the dentist in 3 years and i have missed every appointment that my mom made for me. i couldn't give blood because my iron is too low because i eat so strangely. i break out constantly and my hands are so dry that my knuckles bleed. sometimes my heart beats so loudly that it scares me, but i never say anything.
tonight is dani's 21st birthday. everyone is taking her out to 2nd street. it makes me sad because not only can i not celebrate her birthday, but now i'm the only one who can't go out. so i am convinced that i will begin spending a lot of time alone again.
all i want to do tonight is drink until i blackout. | | |
| tomorrow i'm voting for barack obama.
i wish i had a boyfriend.
or my own apartment.
lyfe is so hard. | | |
| this morning i woke up at 11:30, ate a piece of bright red cake and watched yo gabba gabba. | | |
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