another day. another dollar.

sometimes I feel the need to hide from the world, metaphorically speaking, behind sunglasses.

I'm lonely. In a crowd of deaf people, only the walls hear. It doesn't feel like you're really listening. Don't pretend to like what you never have. I can't take being lied to. Tell me to my face. If you love me, let me know. If you hate me, carve my heart out with your apathy knife. Label it ruthless. Stick it on a shelf. You can't have what you never reach for. A rock turned over, but nothing underneath. Emptiness. Hollow out my insides. Heart and Mind do not function as one. But they will see defeat together.

I am so lost and confused right now. I can't make decisions. Make them for me. I would never want to hurt you. Hurt me instead. If only this were serendipity. I wouldn't have to worry. I would get mine. And you would get yours. There would be waiting. And there would be wondering. But never any doubt. Will you walk with me? Will you hold my hand? Will you kiss my tears away? Dance with me, darling, they're playing our song.

If you do not understand. Do not try to.

I never meant for things to happen like this