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| In a nutshell...School is back in full swing again. I am loving Tri-C a lot, a teacher's aide for Ms. Scott, Mr. DelCalzo is pretty much a badass, I still regret not joining choir last year, HAM will probably get harder, band is going alright, AP Music Theory could be a little better in some ways, and I don't remember a word of Spanish. The only time I'm ever home is to sleep at night and get ready at 6am. As of now, I'm not a great tennis player, and I think that fact stresses me out more than anything. I saw somebody unepected at Circle K on Tuesday, and I was shaking the whole time. Apparently we're friends again, but I'm not getting my hopes up about it staying that way. Lately I've been jealous of everything, and it's not fair. Specifically two people, but I don't know exactly which one I'm more jealous of. Jeff Guido is officially my Homecoming date, but since neither of us have intentions (haha), I'm not bothering to buy a new dress. Planning to wear the one from freshman year. I haven't been working nearly as much as I'd like to, but that will change next month, hopefully. I'm really looking forward to Matrix auditions, and maybe finally playing next to some truly talented people. In general, I'm not happy, I only wish I knew why. The time I do have to spend, I've been spending with my family. Alannah is getting to be HUGE, and Allison's puppy is a cute little shithead. It's terrifying to be completely out of control of every situation you find yourself in. And I'm tired of saving the day for my friends over and over and not getting anything back. We still don't have percussion shirts. It's really nice to have Phil to talk to every day, to keep me semi-sane. I'm a stupid, stupid woman. | | |
| How many times can I break till I shatter?Who's counting? :] I'm not. | | |
| Thanks to a certain Jeffrey Guido, I have a new nickname, as of tonight: Chode Girl. Thank you, Jeffrey Guido. :) It's nice to be back at work, as you can tell. Haha. So, once October rolls around, I'll never see you again. So why am I still trying to bother with you right now? I feel so stupid. Band camp was a very good week, and a very bad one. I have nothing to say about it. Wednesday is a curse. You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now here he comes
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young
When you were young | | |
| I am proud of him. I really am. I'm glad he is living his dream. But I'm even happier that he decided to leave me out of it. I realize now that I just would have held him back, and as much as I want to "just be the one who keeps him out of trouble," I know there's no way in anything but Hollywood that something even remotely close to that can truly happen. Have fun. I know you will. Don't kill yourself. I wish I could have really known you. I think I'm finally okay with it all. I am back on track with reality. Maybe. For now. My life has taken more than one strange turn so far this summer. I've noticed that I go through phases. Right now it seems to be the-- Ready for this? -- "staying up until three, watching Seinfeld, practicing mallets, working at Dairy Queen, running with Stasia, reading Science Fiction, obsessively texting, and trying for friends" phase. That'd be my life right there. Speaking of Dairy Queen, I really love it there. It's the laziest job in the world, but I can easily admit that in my month of working there so far, I've already experienced some of the best memories. I am waiting for band and tennis to start. I need a reason to not stay up until three. Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you | | |
| Am I really that undesirable as a friend, even? You left me without any self-esteem. I just want to know how you've been
It don't make me feel bad that we're still friends
Mulling it all over in my bed
I hope that you see through your picket
I hope that you see through your big yard and white picket fence
To make amends
And still be friends | | |
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