| resurrectioni resurrected three of my blogspot websites
http://bleuemoon.blogspot.com
http://throughthelookinglass.blogspot.com
http://wintertulip.blogspot.com
i'll probably start blogging more there than here from now on. :) |
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| 9th time - oops i did it again!unbearable feelings of anger
sadness, mysterious good byes
no plans, just acting on impulse
slowly, methodically
then a text message
sent with love
a serious self-destructive act
then another visit for the 9th time
black out
absolute blank
as if i were dead
hazy pictures
slowly coming to consciousness
surrounded by friends
as if i were a show
then a few days later a realization
that those who love me have rallied together
to bring me back to life... |
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| i am waiting
for the end of my time
patiently
enduring suffering
i am letting things go
slowly but surely |
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| how could this be?
the darkness descends again
tears oh the tears
sighs deeper than the ocean |
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| when was it?when was it that i felt safe
or rather when was it that i felt unsafe
shattering myself
tearing piece by piece my peace
i don't want to be tricked
i would rather live through the feelings, the trauma, the nightmares
i am shaky
not sturdy at all
the hope that i had is lost to me
maybe it's time again
to retreat to a place where i can be safe |
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