As if I need sleep? Hah!  I am learning to live on 3 hours at a time. I have to say - its not easy.  But I know it doesnt last forever.  The truth is, I love being a new mom, all over again.  I love my family. 

Abby is growing in leaps and bounds. She is getting cuter everyday.  More awake, aware, just more alive. I love watching her change everyday. And she seems to actually change everyday.  She is growing all the time.  Clothes that fit her last week, dont today.  Her little legs are getting chubby and she has the most chubby cheeks.  Its just so adorable.  She loves her mom and dad, its the sweetest feeling.  She really is a precious gift. 

The last Doctor visit - she was over 11 lbs.  Gained almost 3 lbs in 4 weeks.  I think she is even more than that now. Definitely.  Patrick and I feel so fortunate.

Who would have thought in less than a year my life would change so much, for the better?  I was lucky before, before we met, I was happy, content, just single.  I wasnt looking for a husband or another daughter. I was just living my life, enjoying each day.  As much as I could appreciate life, I did.  Its just amazing.  If I had one piece of advice for living...live each day in awe and appreciation. It can only get better. 

I admit, everyday is all gratitude and complete bliss. I didnt have the easiest pregnancy and it was quite a stressful time.  Moving, worrying about my health, ability to carry another child.  Plus being newly married, having my oldest daughter going through puberty.  Moving 3 times, a job that requires 150% of my attention and constant supervision.  Plus there were many times I laid in bed, thinking...how crazy I am for trying to have a baby, that I cant do it again. I wondered if I would even live through this pregnancy. It was a hormonal time, but I had Patrick and he is the reason I can still smile, laugh, enjoy my life as much as I do.  Thank goodness for my husband.  He was patient, helpful, concerned, a shoulder, a best friend, he was the most loving hubby through my pregnancy.  If he werent so fabulous, I am sure I wouldnt be this person I am right now.

My husband and I often talk about how lucky we feel that we found each other.  We appreciate each other and feel such gratitude for "finding" each other.  Its the most wonderful feeling in all the world, to fall asleep next to the man you love and the man you realize is the greatest gift.  He is my best friend.  Its like nothing I have ever experienced, its better than I ever imagined it could be.  If we all have one being we were meant to share our life with, I know he is that one being. 

Now, we are planning the next baby. I am kind of the type to see where the universe takes me.  Wing it.  Not plan.  He on the other hand is a planner.  So he thinks it is probably better to wait a while and enjoy me not being pregnant for awhile.  We are both pretty convinced that if we tempted fate, I would be pregnant in a few weeks. Neither of us are actually honestly....ready for that again. I would rather fate get me pregnant in late winter.  This would give us a fall baby.  But I am only giving us so much time to have babies anyway.  I am not  that young anymore.  I worry if we wait too long, opportunity will pass us by.  Or the complications will be magnified because of my age.

Anyway...baby is healthy, happy, growing.  And so is my marriage. :)

Soon I go back to work. Yet, I am somewhat not that upset. I look forward to a reason to get up, shower, be productive and have those work related challenging thoughts again. I do like my job, its just goign to be hard to leave the baby.  I really  dont like leaving her for an entire day. But I will be going home on my lunch everyday to see her.  :)  Plus she will be at home, so I can stop by anytime and see her or maybe she can come up to the office for a visit sometimes. :)

I am goign to worry about my weight soon, I need to buy clothes, my pre-preganncy clothes dont fit.  So I have to get something for work. I hate buying clothes for a body I dont like!

Erin went home.  Erin is my baby sister. She was here for a whole week!  It was sooooo wonderful to see her, hang out and chill with my baby sis.  I couldn't believe how nice it was.  She was wonderful with the baby.  Abby was well cared for on my moments away from her, while in Erin's arms. 

It felt really great this week, having my little baby sis here with my new baby, hubby, older daughter and my little brother.  What a crowded house! But a delight beyond words.

Thanks for coming Erin!

Come back!  Come back!  We miss you already.

Abby was born 6/11/08 at 4:08pm. She weighed 8 lbs and 12 ozs.  And was a shopping 22 inches long.  Not only was she a week before her official due date, and induced because of my extreme edema, she was born with a few problems.  She did not get to go home with me whe nI was discharged after my 48 hour standard issue hospital stay.  She came home with us on Fathers Day.  It wasnt easy to go home empty.  But we made it out of the NICU and are adjusting very nicely now to being at home, and super bonding.

She was born with a small hole in her heart, an air bubble outside her lung and her billirubin was high. She has a heart arithmia and trouble breathing - she breathes too hard.  So its been a hectic stressful time.   Patrick has been so wonderful and is VERY excited to be a dad. We actually take turns crying, using each other to lean on.  Its just been so exhausting and troublesome.  Especially because we were both so intent on specific things, like : trying birth with no epidural, not being induced, no episiotomy, having her in the room with us the whole time in the hospital when she was born, getting home ASAP to spend time with her, breastfeeding exclusively. Besides holding her for 5 minutes after she was born, none of that was able to happen.

With her size and activity,  I am grateful she wasnt born a day later! But because of her size and my edema I decided to go ahead with the epidural and because of her size....I needed to have the episiotomy. 

So anyway, she is BEAUTIFUL. She knows us, and calms when we are near her, she is a content and hungry baby.  She just has gone through alot.  But we avoided the Hep B shot.  One thing I had some control over.


We have pictures,  will send along soon.