Today i lost a poo-off with some lady in the bathroom at work.  according to pooping bible How to Poop At Work below:

UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.  Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

a poo-off, on the other hand, is when both parties need to poo and are sitting in stalls waiting for the other person to leave.  this goes on until one person either leaves without poo-ing or breaks the one pooper at a time rule.  we must have sat on those toilets for 5 minutes without a peep until finally i was like fuck this shiet, i could be doing other things like checking my email or surfing the web. 

before i left, i snuck a glance under the stall at her shoes.  mrs. black rockports - next time you won't be so lucky.   i will uncle ted you until you have hemmorhoids.