~B: "Can we discuss the possibility of getting a radio in the back for some quiet entertainment while closing?"

 ~B: "Whipped Cream on the Vanilla Crème Frappuccino?"

  C: “I didn’t order that.”

  B: “What did you have?”

  C: “A plain one.”

  B: “A plain what?”

  C: “All I know is, it was brown.”

(A little explanation here: A vanilla crème frap is not brown so this person had NO idea what they were ordering.)

 ~B: “I just wanted to remind you in case you didn’t know.”

 ~C: “Do you have coffee?”

  B: “No- we’re a coffee bar, we serve coffee, but we don’t have any coffee… I did not mean to say that out loud! It just slipped.”

 ~C: “Do you have hot chocolate?”

  B: “Um… yes… we have chocolate and milk…”

 ~C: “Do you have milk?”

      (Enough said)

~C: “Cookies… is there beer in them?”

     (This came from a customer on St. Patrick’s Day.)

 ~C: “Do you know what the Matrix is?? Because you’re in it.”

       “Are you a terrorist?”

      (Same customer, same conversation. I kid you not.)

 ~C, pointing to kitchen door: “Do you have a bathroom back there?”

 ~B (aka ME): “Hi there!” (to the only customer in line or around for 20 feet)

  C: “Who, me??”

 ~C, searching through her purse : “…and I have a frequent flyer’s card with you guys…”

  B (aka ME): “It’s not gonna get you very far!”

 ~C: “Everything’s better when you add fat to it!”

 ~B: “Wow! YOU got lucky today! …I mean, good soup…”

 ~C: “I love your mom!”

 ~B, referring to coffee: “I need a house with no room.”

  C: “No, a house with a little room.”

 ~B: “I just hate water, it tastes so awful in my throat!”

 ~C: “I’m really blunt, very straightforward… which is probably why I’m hangin’ out with myself tonight…”

 ~B #1 (aka ME): “Usually people mark the cup the other way.”

    B #2 (aka Allison): “Well, I’m not usually people. Yeah, figure THAT one out!”

 ~B, to a timer that was going off: “Shut up. No one likes you.”

 ~C: “Where’s the restroom?”

  B: “The back of the store, children’s department.”

  C: “Where’s the back of the store??”

  (Shall I hold your hand and help you find the potty?)

 ~B: “Would you like the house Blend or Verona?”

  C: “Horse. I mean, horse. I mean, HOUSE.”

  (Rightttooo…)

 ~C: “I’m just going to have a cappuccino, grande, dry- with 2% milk, half-caf if you have it, with an extra shot, and sugar-free vanilla. Could you throw a splenda in there for me? Oh, and can you make that extra-hot? Thanks.”

   (JUST…??)

 ~C: “What does hazelnut taste like?”

  B: blinks

 ~B: “They’re both talls and there’s two of them.”

 ~C: “Is this mine? Oh, wait, I didn’t order yet.”

 ~B: “Room for cream in your coffee?”

  C: “Yes, and leave room for cream.”

 ~B: “Would you like a large?”

  C: “NO.”

  B: “Medium, small?”

  C: “Yes, small medium.”

 ~C: “You can’t hassle me! I’m a frequent drinker!”

 ~B: “A customer just complained that It’s too cold in here.”

  M: “Well, what did they order?”

  B: “A frappuccino.”

  M: “Well, there’s your problem. Just tell them to order something hot.”

  (Good logic on that one.)

 ~C: “Can I have a caramel caffe mocha, iced. No, wait- a caramel macchiato, iced. No, wait, what was it? Oh yeah, a caramel mocha frappuccino. No wait, what was it? No, no, no! Just a caramel frappuccino. Yeah that’s it. With whip cream.”

 ~C: “You don’t have… Oh, ok- you DO have coffee. I think I’ll have a pepsi.”

 ~B: “Would you like a chocolate chunk cookie with that?”

  C: “Oh, go away.”

 ~B: “Did you want the coffee cake for here or to go?”

  C: “For here… no, wait- just put it in a to-go cup.”

 ~B: “Is that a REAL $20 dollar bill, Steve?”

  M: “I don’t know- I just made them last night.”

 ~B: “Did you need room for cream or black?”

 ~C: “So, all you have are refreshments for drinks?”

 ~B: “Hi, how are you?”

  C: “A tall mocha.”

 ~B: “Hi! Can I get you something to drink while you look at our menu?”

 ~C: “I ate the rabbit’s head.”

  (Note: we later found out she was referring to a CHOCOLATE rabbit on Easter…)