Three Types of Men
This is a long post, a summary taken from the book, “Created to be His Help Meet,” by Debi Pearl. (Available at www.NoGreaterJoy.org) Although it is a summary, it is still long! As it was presented, men in three types, I poo pooed this idea, but after discussion in our small groups, found this to be very true!
No single man will completely express the well rounded image of God. If he did, he would be the perfect man. Most men are a little of all three types, yet tend to be more dominant in one. God created man to express one side of His triad nature. Hopefully, you should be able to identify your husband and see if you have been a curse or a blessing to him.
God is dominant – a sovereign and all powerful God. He is also visionary – omniscient and desirous of carrying out His plans. And God is steady – the same yesterday, today and forever.
Wisdom is to know what you have when you married your man, and learning to adapt to him as he is, not as you want him to be. So we need to begin to understand the different types of men. There are basically three types of men.
Mr. Command Man… is the born leader. They end up in positions that command other men. They are often chosen by other men to be military commander, politicians, preachers and heads of corporations. Winston Churchill, George Patton and Ronald Reagan are example of these dominant men. Since our world only needs a few leaders, God seems to limit the number of the “Command Men.” Command men usually do more than what is required of them and are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot.
These men also have less tolerance, and will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has a chance to realize that she is close to losing her marriage. By the times she realizes there is a serious problem, she is already a divorces mother seeking help in raising her children alone. A woman can fight until she is blue in the face, yet the Command man will not yield. He is not intimate or vulnerable as are other men in sharing his personal feelings or vocation with his wife. He seems to be sufficient unto himself. A woman married to this man has to earn her place in his heart by proving she will stand by her man, faithful, loyal and obedient. When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.
The Command man feels it is his duty and responsibility to lead people, and do he does. This is what the public is most comfortable with. Very few people have enough confidence to strike out on their own. He will be uncomfortable dealing with the sick, helpless and dying.
On 9-11, when the World Trade Center was destroyed, another plane flying over Pennsylvania was being hijacked by terrorists. Mr. Todd Beamer was on that plane and it is his voice we heard saying that now famous line, “Let’s roll.” He was probably a strong Mr. Command Man. He and others like him took control of a desperate situation and saved many other lives while sacrificing his own. Mr. Beamer evaluated the situation, made a decision and acted upon it. A good Mr. Command Man sees the bigger picture and strives to help the greatest number, even if it costs him his life.
A King wants a Queen, which is why a man in command wants a faithful wife to share his fame and glory. If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be sitting at his right side being adored. This kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her. If you are married to a king, honor and reverence is something that you must give him on a daily basis if you want him to be a benevolent, honest, strong and fulfilled man of God. Never shame him, belittle him or ignore his accomplishments. If the wife of this man resists his control, he will move forward without her. Such was the example of King Ahasuerus of Persia in the book of Esther.
The wife of Mr. Command man can ruin her marriage by failing to honor, obey and reverence her husband’s authority and rule. She can also heal her marriage by becoming his adoring Queen, honoring and obeying his every (reasonable and unreasonable) word. She will dress, act and speak so as to bring him honor everywhere she goes.
Mr. Visionary… Some of you are married to men who are shakers, changers and dreamers. They can get the entire family upset about peripheral issues. The issues may be serious and worthy of one’s commitment, but in varying degrees, these men have tunnel vision. They may easily pick up and relocate without any idea of what they are going to do for a living at their new location.
Visionaries are often gifted man or inventors and it was probably these kinds of men who conquered the Wild West. Today, the Visionary men are the street preachers, political activists, organizers and instigators of any front line social issue. They love confrontation and hate the status quo. They keep the rest of the world from getting stagnant or dull. The Visionary is consumed with a need to communicate with his words, music, writing, voice, art or actions. He is the “voice crying out in the wilderness” trying to change the way humanity is behaving or thinking. These men need a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.
If you are married to one of these fellows, expect to be rich or poor, rarely middle class. He may invest everything in a chance and lose it all, or make a fortune! He will not do well working in an 8 to 5 job, in the same place for thirty years.
He may purchase an alligator farm in Florida or a ski resort in Colorado, or he may buy an old house trailer for $150 with hopes of fixing it up and selling it for $10,000, only to find out that it is so deteriorated that it can’t be moved. He then will have his wife and kids help him tear off the top and carry the scraps to the dump, so he can make a farm trailer out of the axles. Now that he has a farm trailer and no animals, expect him to get a deal on three old sick cows and …etc. He may never be rich in money, but he will be rich in experience.
If this is your type of man, learn how to be flexible and how to always be loyal to your man. Life will become an adventure when you go with the flow – his flow. People looking on will marvel that you are able to love and appreciate your husband. It is because you see his greatness! Thomas Edison was probably a visionary, and became great after his 999th failure to make a light bulb. The Wright brothers were great when they neglected their occupation of fixing bicycles and wasted time trying to make one of them fly.
This types of man needs your enthusiastic support, not a critique of his ideas. He will look at his idea more critically later, but for the moment, the idea itself is invigorating to him. He may have a thousand ideas for every project he attempts, and will try many that he will never finish, and will finish some that are worthless. If he can not share his ‘dumb ideas’ with you, he will share them with someone else! Let him burn out on things that are not wise, but don’t throw water on his fire. He needs a lady that is full of life and joy. Mr. Visionary will start and keep the party going until the Command Man gets there to lead on.
The wife of Mr. Visionary can ruin her marriage by failing to follow, believe and participate as an enthusiast in her husband’s dreams and visions. She can heal her marriage by laying aside her own dreams and aspirations and embracing her role as help meet to her man, believing in him and being willing to follow him with joyful participation in the path that he has chosen.
Mr. Steady…This type of man is caring, providing, and faithful, like a priest – like Jesus. He is in the middle, not given to extremes. The Mr. Steady man does not make snap decisions or spend his last dime on a new idea, and doesn’t try to tell people what to do. He will avoid controversy. He doesn’t invent the light bulb like the Visionary, but he will be the one to build the factory and manage the assembly line that produces it.
Mr. Steady would never lead a revolution against the government or the church. He will selflessly fight the wars that the Visionary man starts and the Command man leads.
Being married to Mr. Steady has rewards and trials. This man does not put undue pressure on you to perform miracles and doesn’t expect you to be his servant. When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him. You may be discontent because he is slow and cautious to take authority or make quick decisions. If you are a bossy woman, you see him as wishy-washy because his is a follower. There is no exciting rush in him, just a slow steady climb with no bells or whistles. There are times you may wish he would boldly tell you what to do so you would not have to carry all the burden of decision making.
A Mr. Steady man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet grow in her own right before God and him. He will want you to use your natural skills, abilities and drives. You must learn how to pay bills, make appointments and entertain guests with competence that brings him satisfaction. Your skills and achievements will be your husband’s resume.
The wife of Mr. Steady can ruin her marriage by failing to appreciate, wait on and be thankful for her husband’s pleasant qualities. The wife can also heal her marriage by joyfully realizing what a friend, lover and companion she has been given and living out that gratitude verbally and actively. When she stops trying to change him, he will grow. She can then willingly take up the tasks that will fill her time and give her husband joy and satisfaction when he sees her productiveness.
Do you see your type of man? I do! Can you be the help meet for the man God created him to be – or are you going to try to change him? If you need help,click here…
http://www.contenderministries.org/romanroad.php
http://www.gotquestions.org/eternal.html
marantha~ dawn
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