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| Native American DayAfter decades of mistreatment by the state of South Dakota towards American Indians living on the reservations, of which South Dakota contains either the most or the second most acres of indian/reservation land in any other state, Governor Mickelson called for reconciliation with the tribes in South Dakota. One thing he had changed was the holiday known as "Columbus Day" to "Native American Day."
South Dakotans do not celebrate Columbus Day, but instead Native American Day.
I am 1/2 Oglala Lakota--from the Standing Bear and Lone Hill families.
Due to geography, my tribe was one of the last of the North American tribes to have contact with Europeans and also one of the last in the United States to end hostilities with the country. Tribes like the Cherokee, who were closer to the east coast, ended hostilities earlier and intermingled with Europeans early on (hence so many people who claim some Cherokee heritage.)
I first went to the reservation before I could remember and again when I was about 10. There were things I noticed immediately that make natives different from non-natives:
1. Mechanical ability. I think this is something natives are born with--tabula rasa can go to hell. All of my extended family can repair any mechanical or technical problem.
2. Humor. Indians have a peculiar sense of humor that NEVER goes away. An indian person isn't laughing or joking for perhaps 10 minutes per day. The rest is spent on humor.
3. Fry bread and wacipi...all indians are required to go to these before age 1. There's one every year, involving usually a lot of fry bread and other foods derived from commodity packages the the US government that the reservation recieved as part of the treaties to end hostilities. It's a fun experience when you're a kid. Me and my cousins would spent most of the time just running around and playing games until out parents would get angry and make us sit down to watch the dancers...long enough until they got distracted long enough for escape.
4. Military service. There is a very high chance that when you meet a native male, he's served in the military. Natives have one of the highest enlistment rates into the US Military compared to other ethnic groups. It's always been that way. Natives were not recognized as full, natural-born citizens but were still allowed to join the regular military and were drafted first for WW1. My grandfather (who I never knew [killed in a hate crime, actually]) was a paratrooper and participated in combat in the south pacific in WW2. My uncle was in the USAF and the Navy. Beyond that...the male warriors were too busy killing American settlers.
The indian experience is like any other cultural experience in that there seem to be innumerable differences in attitudes, practices, and beliefs. Perhaps more strongly noticeable for natives because they do not share the same history with much of the rest of the world. I can garauntee you, whoever you are, you will experience culture shock in Shannon County like no where else in the world (assuming you've never been to a reservation.)
Anyway, today I spent a few hours at the washington pavilion for a Native American day event organized by various community leaders (my mother included.)
There were some interesting speeches. One by a veteran--an NCO in his late 40s who served 11 years in the marines and most recently in Iraq with the US Army for the past4 years. The other was by a professor who spoke about the structure of indian financial issues. There were also some talented musicians. I managed to get a video of the dummers during an intermission...part way through unforunately. The theater had some awesome acoustics--the drum was causing the plexiglass window behind me near the back of the theater to vibrate.
I don't know if there will be any, but are there any questions about Native Americans you have that I might answer?
Happy Native American Day!
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| May Thirty Aught NineThis is a long-ish fictional (more like fantasy since I don't think this is likely to happen) piece I've been (having fun) working on. Close attention not required. So skim along. And yes, ima' timestamp this bitch.
Fed Lowers Rates, Urges Stimulus
November 3, 2008
WASHINGTON DC, United States -- Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke on Monday met with Capitol Hill officials to plan a new Federal Reserve plan to handle slipping employment rates in the United States. "We are going to finalize a slight decrease in interest rates and buy additional securities by the end of this month."
A report released last week stated that unemployment, currently 4.9%, will rise to 6.3% by January, and possibly 8.2% by next April as a result of the financial meltdown in the past several months. Chairman Bernanke wanted immediate interest rate cuts and urged lawmakers to pass a stimulus package to Amercan consumers for release next April. The price on the government would be $200 billion dollars. Bringing the total amount of stimulus and bailouts packages to over one trillion dollars.
[...]
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President Bush Signs Stimulus Bill
December 21, 2008
WASHINGTON DC, United States -- President Bush signed the second major stimulus package in one year for American workers. The stimulus will be distributed in April, a timing recommended by economic experts including Sectretary Paulson. The slow to recover financial markets have trickled down to America's Main Street resulting in steadily increasing unemployment rates and a GDP growth rate decline of 11%.
The Federal Reserve also announced a new round of direct loans to American companies outside the financial sector to loosen available funds in circulation.
[...]
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President Obama Orders Redeployment of Troops
January 30, 2009
WASHINGTON DC, United States -- President Obama ordered the redeployment of troops out of Iraq. The speed of this minor withdrawal has shocked many at the Pentagon, however Obama's justification calls in the need for greater fiscal responsibility by the government to handle the continuing slow down of the global economy. The redeployment will remove 20,000 troops from Iraq.
In a press release Wednesday, Secretary of Treasury Bennett issued a warning to lawmakers that a swift redirection of the US budget into domestic affairs was necessary to leaven a pending full scale recession by the summer of 2009.
[...]
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Democratically-Controlled Congress, President Begin New Legislation
February 7, 2009
Washington DC, United States -- Democratic congressmen began to formulate new legislation meant to
support lower-income families in the current economic trouble
afflicting; a rising number. "It seems as though everyone except the top 1% of the American workforce is shifting down into a lower income bracket," said Denise Haynes of the EIT Group that watches economic trends in the United States.
New legislation is meant to expand benefits and aid to families and individuals suffering from the economic spiral of the past few months. Unemployment rates reached 6.7% in February new estimates report. GDP growth declined by a total of 13%.
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New New Deal?
March 1, 2009
President Obama delivered a speech to the United States on the subject of the economy. In it he cited the slowing unemployment rate, marking a possible light at the end of the tunnel for most, but Obama warned that the United States must continue forward with aid to the economy in a consistent application. Obama also announced immediate alterations to the financial system of the United States he claimed foundational to the current recession.
GDP growth continued to decline as Obama expressed interest in new legislation to lightly re-distribute wealth taken from failing companies in 2008 by executive and top tier management in companies like Lehman Brothers, AIG, Washington Mutual, and Bear Stearns. The new new deal will place a temporary income tax at over 66% on the country's most wealthy for two years, and reduce taxes to less than 3% for individuals earning less than roughly $100,000 per year.
Economy experts cited the growing wealth disparity as a contributing factor to the sudden collapse of the economy. However, critics of the new new deal are worried that the government will punish executives whose mistakes were rooted in lack of proper regulation by government. "More blind regulation isn't the key," Obama said Saturday, "we need smarter regulation."
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Unemployment Rate in Decline, Stimulus Arrives
April 13, 2009
NEW YORK, United States -- Wall Street surged today when the first round of stimulus checks were mailed to US consumers. Lending increased throughout March and into April due to steady interest rate cuts and securities purchases by the Federal Reserve. The economy will gain an extra 200 billion dollars over the next two weeks.
The unemployment rate, currently 7%, continued to slow as economists continue to watch a potential reversal over the next few months.
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Rates, Securities, Loans Lead to Inflation
May 2, 2009
NEW YORK, United States -- "The effects of last year's stimulus and rate cuts and other expansionary measures were delayed to the worst possible time," said an unnamed official with the Fed yesterday.
Unemployment increased to 9% in a single month, the greatest increase in the number of jobless since the Great Depression. The increase in money supply due to action by the Fed and the US congress have contributed to a spiking inflation rate in the past two weeks.
News of increased oil prices in preparation for summer demand have also contributed to an alarming increase in inflation. Vice President Biden called for an immediate conference with key lawmakers to work out a plan to increase federal minimum wage to $7.50 an hour. Currently, it takes one hour of minimum wage labor to afford a gallon of gasoline and an additional two or three hours to pay for simple living expenses. Making a living at the current minimum wage is no longer mathematically possible.
[...]
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Economics of Emergencies
May 7, 2009
WASHINGTON DC, United States -- President Obama ordered an additional 60,000 troops out of Iraq to save the US budget from a dangerous situation. The cost of oil has increased the price of removing troops from Iraq has triple the expense since Obama removed 20,000 troops earlier this year. The total savings for removing 80,000 troops, however, has lightened the load on the burden of saving the United States economy.
Minimum wage was increased as part of a package to help American working families now out of work. Inflation from increased money supply and the cost of oil spiking higher and faster than ever observed are causing companies across the world to re-evaluate the US dollar against the prices of goods to be traded. Many domestically sold goods have increased in price, resulting in a steady stream of unemployed individuals and increases in wages to catch up with the burst of inflation.
[...]
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UPDATE: Economics of Emergencies
May 7, 2009
WASHINGTON DC, United States -- UPDATE: Wall Street markets plunged today by 3000 points marking a grim new chapter in the economic struggle of the United States. The chairman of the Federal Reserve spoke 30 minutes after the closing of the market, "we are seeing a major correction in the face of inflation caused by a miscalculation in monetary supply expansion," when asked if this is the beginning of a recession, "we won't see anything like the Great Depression, but we will see perhaps a long term recession until the economy can readjust to the falling value of the dollar."
President Obama authorized use of American energy reserves to continue the redeployment of troops from Iraq. A source with the Pentagon said that officials warned the President against this and instead to sell reserves in return for extending the supply lines into Iraq for the large military force active in the country.
[...]
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Death of Wall Street...Global Economy Effected
May 14, 2009
NEW YORK, United States -- Wall Street feels like a ghost town now. Haunted by the memory of the hundreds of large trading companies and brokers who less than two weeks ago were looking towards a brighter future. Eight other trading markets across the world have also been vacated by a large, implosive series of failures.
The US Dollar continued to fall drastically in value causing several companies to suspend all services until new pricing can be established. But it only fans the flames and more businesses must do the same and lay off hundreds of thousands of employees at the same time. I'm not sure how many people will be able to receive this editorial this Thursday. I'm the only one on the fourteenth floor at the moment....
Due to our own lack of staffing I will write here much information that might be missing from the next issue: Energy reserves have been used in transporting 100 thousand soldiers out of Iraq. However, another 35 thousand remain with an uncertain future--supply lines have dwindled and there are no more statements from the White House about how to move the remaining soldiers out.
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Media Nationalized, Redeployment, Russia-China Relations
May 15, 2009
CHICAGO, United States -- The United States government ordered all television stations, newspaper, and other related industries to provide information services for government transmissions. Information is important to the American citizen in the democratic process and so it is considered a common-good industry at the current time.
President Obama says the government, on the recommendations of Bernanke and other officials and advisers, will dissolve the Fed and place instead a new banking system to recover the current state of the monetary system in the United States. Obama stated also that the current economic crash is mostly a problem of confidence, which the new currency will help improve. He urged Americans to be patient and not panic as a full correction is engineered by the government.
Full redeployment of troops out of Iraq has been halted, trapping several thousand military personnel in Iraq. They were ordered to move to extreme western Iraq and set up defenses. As this is being written, reports are coming in that Russian military forces have begun an invasion of several former soviet states--in addition to Iraq in a presumed move to secure energy resources. They signed an agreement with China and other eastern countries to form an energy coalition.
Washington officials had no comment on this sudden turn of events.
[...]
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Explosions in Israel: Strike Against Western Interests
May 20, 2009
ATLANTA, United States -- An encampment of several thousand US troops who crossed Jordan in a long 17 hour escape from Iraq was the target of several large explosions outside the center of Tel Aviv. No details have been confirmed at this time.
Jordan did not authorize the crossing in an attempt to trap the Americans. Americans were met by force and returned fire leaving several Jordanian military and security forces dead in the American's wake. Jordan promised revenge.
[...]
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Casus Belli
May 30, 2009
WASHINGTON DC, United States -- Taking advantage of a policy blunder motivated by economic panic in the global economy, Iran-backed terrorists exploited weaknesses in the US military currently stationed in Israel. Russia has taken all of Iraq, whose army surrendered immediately. The explosions were conducted with "dirty" nuclear weapons as well as smaller, more sophisticated weaponry that pointed at Russian involvement in the attacks. More than 1000 US troops and an unconfirmed number of Israeli citizens were reported as casualties--the number is expect to rise over the next several decades of radiation-related illness.
The President said that retribution would be sought for the acts, "what the attackers assumed was that America's time has passed. They don't realize we have so many back ups, safety nets, and tricks to recover rapidly--in peace time. Our ability to make war has not been harmed--we still have the greatest military in the world capable of a large-scale retaliation if necessary."
The President did not name the enemies of the United States yet, despite growing evidence of the new Russian-China-Persian alliance's involvement in the Israel attacks. The alliance was established earlier this month and now has over 16 member countries.
[...]
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| Almost lost it Well, I turned off xanga lock for my latest lawlfest. Got hundreds of footprints from all over. It got me to about #10 on the top blogs list which helped traffic even more. Then I started to get various crawling services all over the place. But I wasn't sure what this one was:
Wow that's blurry.
On the suggestion of a friend, I sent a message to the xanga team and made references with newspapers--the featured stuff is like the gossip page of my local rag. It gets people in and sells ads. But so does the Washington Post or the WSJ.
Since I've been working from home, I've lent my jeep to my dad, whose own jeep decided to stop starting and my dad was tired of putting money in it. However, my dad drives like a fucking crazy SOB. My girlfriend saw him, probably after visiting his girlfriend, leaving her university driving at least 40mph in a 25. And then taking a corner on two wheels only (or so the story goes.)
Well, in the morning a couple weeks ago I had to go to a meeting (turned out to be a total waste of time anyway.) I got home and noticed a note in the windshield wiper then. "Tom, voltmeter in instrument panel is indicating low." So I checked with an separate volt meter--it was charging fine. Then more problems started....
The transmission was delayed in everything. The tachometer started to bounce around. Then the speedometer started to bounce around--and finally stopped working. I noticed the transmission was low on fluid and added some hoping it would help. It didn't. I would take my foot off the accelerator and it would shift into what felt like the lowest possible gear. I didn't need to use the brakes anymore.
Finally my dad just decided to drive it as is. I thought the end was near.... Finally I got a phone call, "hey, it won't start." I had visions of my favorite material possession being towed away at the cost of $40 to be cannibalized by irreverent vultures. Instead I wanted to make one final attempt.
I got a ride to my baby. I opened the hood. Walked to the battery and grabbed the body-ground wire leading to the negative battery post. As soon as my finger touched the bolt, the headlights and car alarm turned on. I turned the bolt to tighten it. It started. All gauges were back and the transmission is back to normal.
For long enough my dad has been telling me to buy a new jeep and I just shrug it off...this one took me too many places, it was too loyal. So it's like an F-14 parked next to a F-22, it's like a C-172RG from the 1970s parked next to a G1000 C-172SP, I don't care. I'll drive it until it is all done, dammit
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| Sex with a Xangan!!!For lawling purposes for a couple of friends: This is a template for a popular/featured posting licensed under the GPLv3 agreement. Standard package includes a profile pic of a hot, underage asian girl in her underwear (known to optimize traffic flow) and a provocative, dynamically generated title (samples: "I cheated" "Palin's folly" "How to make your blog sexy!" and so on.)
For best results, become friends with at least 5 high traffic xanga whores (avenuetothereal, thetheologianscafe, wherethefishlives, theblackspiderman, drakonskyr.)
-Begin with short, attention grabbing autobiographical paragraph. Don't let it mean anything, just make it seem like it does. Like an Obama speech.
-Reference another blog, particularly one by a xanga whore.
-Make a witty remark about penis length.
-Talk about your ex briefly. Insert picture.
-If you are a woman, it is important to assert here a call for attention ("I'm so ugly.") If you are a man, announce here you like giving attention ("women are so hot.") This is an important psychometric requirement for a non-ghey post.
-Now move towards a discussion about why Palin is smarter than people think, or why you think Obama is special in some way people have not yet commonly identified. It doesn't have to be deep or important or fundamental. Just some rhetorical peice that carries no great significance but yet will keep the topic of discussion off-center long enough to be interesting. (Hegel ftw.)
-Insert second picture.
-If you are a featured post, finish here with a paragraph of rhetorical questions. If you are a popular xangan, finish this with an over-wrought witty comment only your own large circle of regular readers will appreciate and possibly ask for a rec.
Here's the template in action for a popular xangan about to be featured (like thetheologianscafe, 4 times every week...except this one is for anybody, since only theolofag can only get away with writing a post about as deep a piss puddle with a shit question at the end):
When I broke up with my ex last year I began to wonder what it all meant. I didn't think I could go on. But then I remembered the time I was at the beach in California when I was 18 and gave a homeless guy some money. And I thought then that some people would probably be happy to be me despite the break up.
Yesterday I read this post by thetheologianscafe about how some people, especially ones without a large enough dick, will post their own embarrassing or fucked up beliefs about all sorts of things but cover it with a trace of satirical intent so that they won't alienate their entire readership, but also satisfy critics that gnaw of his/her conscience while simultaneously vilifying said critics.
You're probably bored by now you lazy assholes who just joined xanga and the xanga team will only feature posts that are easy to digest and perhaps have a graphic or too. So I thought I'd show you how shit went down with my ex:
Basically, my ex was like avenuetothereal and never posted pictures of what she looks like so when we got involved and I met her I was like, oh you're so much hotter than my last girlfriend. I like looking at women and have a lot of attention to give to women. My last girlfriend before my ex was fugly though. So that gives you a basic range of guesses.
The debate last night proved, I think, that Palin definitely has the experience of the everyday American that an elitist like Obama does not have. Nobody else has really said that. So I think you ought to consider it with the gravitas of any statement of equal or greater depth. I'm sure plenty of you will at least leave me a comment.
Why do we ignore the experience of the average mother in america in politics? Why doesn't avenuetothereal post pictures of herself? Why does she only leave one-liners on my site every other month that are both forcefully witty and irrelevent? Why is thetheologianscafe so popular and also so creepy at once? Why does xanga do everything for him? When will the sex video of theblackspiderman and the bovine-looking wherethefishlives surface on the internet? Why am I asking dangerous rhetorical questions?
PLEASE REC!!!!!!!!!!1
Oops, forgot to add a strikethrough to make this entry a little more clever and perhaps more likeable.
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