I have lived in several different apartments in the last several years.  I have also seemed to gain a lot of stuff.  I'm not really when I got all this stuff.  I think it may have grown slowly enough that I did not notice until now.  I have had stuff in a storage unit for the past few years.  At one point I moved from an apartment alone into an apartment with 3 roommates that was already furnished. I put my stuff into storage and haven't used most of it since.  So, I am going to seminary in about 3 weeks.  I still don't have the need for the stuff because I am going to live in a furnished apartment at the school.  So I have been trying to go through everything and get what I need to take with me to the seminary.  I've been just buying things as I need them. Even if I know I have it in storage just because it is easier to do that than to try to find it in all the boxes of stuff.  That needs to stop though.  I think I may be stretching the money quite a bit at seminary.  I need to get things organized so I don't have to buy stuff I already have.  I have enough stuff to fill a two bedroom apartment.  I need to get rid of some stuff.  At least I think I do.  I've been trying to weigh this on a financial scale.  I pay about $100 a month on storage fees.  I will be in seminary for the next 3 years.  So, that is a total cost of $3600 for the next three years.  In which time I will need to furnish and apartment again.  I pretty sure I couldn't furnish and apartment for that in three years.  It's so much stuff. 

As summer is really getting good and started I though I would make a list of things I would like to do this summer before leaving the state.  I remember at times hating this state and thinking there was nothing to do here.  It's just not true.  I have grown to love it here.  So much so that I really do not want to leave.  So with that being said there are a number of things that I would like to take in this summer before I go to New Orleans in August.  If I can find the time that is. So here it is in no particular order.

Camping - I love the outdoors in this state.  You would be very hard pressed to find a state with better state parks.  I'd say it's probably impossible.  You won't find a state with as many state parks to enjoy.  So, I want to go camping at least once maybe a couple of times.  I have to do my end of summer spiritual camp before I leave to because I don't know where to camp in Louisiana.

Take in a concert at the amphitheater - There is nothing better than an outdoor concert on the river.  I mean really.  Usually better in the fall when it is a little cooler in the evening, but I will settle for one in the summer to. Since I won't be here in the fall to take one in.

Travelers baseball - I have been wanting to see a game all season.  I have yet to go into the new park in North Little Rock.  I love the whole experience of just chillin and watching a game. 

Shrimp Boil - I have been craving one of these lately.  I don't really know why.  Just a decent group of friends hanging out having some food.  Sounds like a good time.

West Little Rock Starbucks -  I know your thinking, "Starbucks you can get that anywhere!"  I have this connection with the Starbucks in West Little Rock.  I've done a lot of thinking there.  Had a few dates there.  Done a lot of homework there.  Chilled with friends there.  Done a lot of writing there.  Really, if I wasn't at the BCM you could probably find me there.  I really spent many nights there just drinking coffee and relaxing.  So, it's kind of important to me.

Juanita's - I would like to take in a concert.  This place probably started my love for concerts. Especially local music.  Do I still want to play there, of course I do.  But this may never happen.  I do really want to take in a good local band there some night.

Lunch at that place in the Heights - Sorry I can't think of the name right now.  But outdoor lunch dinning with girly food.  I still like it.  I like the area it's in and the quaint charm that it has.  I must have lunch there before I leave.

So, there is the list.  Now I just need some time off work.

EDIT:

So I had to come back and add just one more.  I really don't know why I forgot about it since I was talking about it just before I wrote this but here it is

Hazen - Yes, Hazen.  A very small town in Arkansas.  When I have something I need to mentally work out I drive.  Hazen became the place I drove to.  It was just far enough away that by the time I got there and back I usually got some clarity on the situation.  Of course, I can't forget about T-Ricks and the overnight guy that worked there.  That guy was crazy.  He was always in a horrible mood and hated his job.  I liked that guy for some reason.  Anyways, so yes Hazen rounds off the list.

 Today is officially my last day to live on campus.  Last weekend I graduated and have to be moved out by tomorrow.  So, what better place to type this message than in the student center where it all began.  I have spent a lot of time in this student center.  More so when I didn't live on campus.  It sets empty for the most part right now.  Summer classes have already started but by this time in the afternoon on a Friday it is empty.  They opened the new starbucks here though.  I wish it was open I could really use a cup of coffee. 

I can say that I really am sad that I am leaving.  I'm leaving behind a great set of friends and an awsome ministry that I got to be a part of this past year.  As I typed that last sentence the director of the ministry text messaged me wishing me luck and getting forwarding info for mail and stuff.  It may have actually just hit me that I am leaving. 

There is so much ahead of me.  All of which is unknown, uncertian, and unsure.  Moving away from everyone and everything that I know. I am moving away from familiar things.  People and things I have grown to love very much.  Soon, I will pack and leave it all here and pretty much start over in a town, at a school where I know no one.  Not a single person and nothing familiar.  I pretty sure I'm excited and terrified at the same time.  The Lord will provide though.  He will be with me.  There have been several times where I have looked back on a situation and known it wasn't me.  It couldn't have been me.  It was all the Lord working through me and I trust he will do the same now.

Is it worth it to dream about the future? That recent question was posed to me. A cabin sets in the middle of a wooded 140 acres. Twelve men sit around a big stone fireplace and talk about what it means to dream. This is the scene once a month as a group of guys from my church attend what is called DreamJamm. So, I sit and listen and wander to myself is it worth it to dream.

I can remember a time when I had dreams, hopes, aspirations. I had all those things, but it has been awhile. These days I am simply going with the flow. I am not unhappy with this. In fact it has been my way so long that I have grown content with it. I would even say that I am happy. I once jokingly said that I was going to expect very little and then I would vary rarely be disappointed. Sadly this has happened. I don't expect much out of life. I've even managed to work it into my faith. I mean really if God wants to bless me with something that is awesome but if not then it wasn't meant for me in the first place. It's come to a point that I don't dream anymore. I just set in the water and go with the current.

“I quit taking risks awhile back because of past failures. The doors didn’t open up for me like I thought they would so I stopped taking risks and dreaming about my life. But after being here today I believe I want to start opening doors again and see what God has for me now and in the future. I want to dream again!"

This was a quote from one of the guys on the trip. It describes myself so well. I had all my doors open up for me several years ago. After a short period of me having everything I could want at the time the doors quickly shut again. I look back at this time and my life and realize it is what I needed. I had al lot of things I did not appreciate. One being a God that loved me. I rejected God so many times in the past. Not outright rejection but just complacency. What could He give to me. A lot of things in that time of my life was about me. It all went away so fast. In that time of pain in my life in the next year or so I came to know Christ in an amazing way.

Since that time though I don't know if I've really dreamed like I used to. With it all being taken away so quick before it has left me at times with thoughts that it could happen again. I used to dream big. I used to take risks. I think dreaming and risks go hand in hand. I used to be able to put myself out there a little more than now. I have something I have been wanting to take a risk on now for a few weeks. But, I can't do it. It is not in me anymore to put myself out on the chopping block with the risk of failure, rejection, ridicule if I don't succeed.

If you have read any of my blogs you may remember reading my goals list for this year. Well, this one just got added to it. God really has opened my eyes in the fact that we do need to dream in life. We need to have goals and aspirations. He really truly does want us to be happy. At least with the risk if it doesn't happen I can be more certian that it wasn't in God's will for my life instead of I just didn't have it in me to even try.

I changed the layout and style of my page today. I started looking at my blog afterward and reading some old blogs from the past. Wow, memories aren't they great. Anyways, that's not what I am writing about. What I am writing about is all the typo's and mistakes I made in them. So, I'm sorry I can't type. I'm going to make a better effort to proofread what I write before I post it. Hopefully, starting with this one.