i suppose i'm back kids. bluh, it takes so long to get back in the hang of things. here's your first update. it's short, but it's something.

1.

but there's a story behind everything. how a

picture got on a wall, how a scar

got on your face. sometimes

the stories are simple, and somethimes they

are hard and hardbreaking.

2.

the love of your life

may not be someone who you can

spend your life with.

3.

Maybe love, too, is beautiful because it has a wildness that cannot be tamed. I don't know. All I know is that that passion can take you up like a house of cards in a tornado, leaving destruction in its wake. Or it can let you alone because you have built a stone wall against it, set out the armed guards to keep it from touching you. The real trick is to let it in, but to hold on. To understand that the heart is as vast and wide as the universe, but that we come to know it best from here, this place of gravity and stability, where our feet can still touch the ground.

++Wild Roses by Deb Caletti

i'm done with this site, but here's one last update.

1.

Maybe I wasn't asking you to love me, maybe I was asking you to understand, because for so long I've been hurt and for so long you've ignored it, and maybe it is bad timing, but maybe, I don't care. I've been here all along just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care. Waiting for you to say that you've been waiting too, and you haven't and maybe you never will or maybe you're afraid to. But it all hurts the same, and in the end, I'm the one that's left broken and when I lay down to sleep, I'm still the one crying, so screw the bad timing. I've loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will

2.

i'm falling apart in your hands again

3.

You did it to me, I did it to you...What the hell did it prove? Only what we both know, that we care about each other

4.

I know we could both go on with our lives and we could both be fine, but I've seen what we could be like together and I choose us.

5.

 And then we just clicked again...we talked again like we used to, we called every night, we hung out like it was no big deal when we really knew it meant everything. And for that certain time, it was like nothing had changed, it was just like it should be. But as I look back on the memories I realize that we have changed, in great ways. And I guess that's not so bad, because that's what makes these times so incredible

6.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw, my inability to change. I don't think I'm alone on this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... it feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quota. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again

7.

It started out like any other summer, every single joy and fear, that's how we found each other and we found ourselves.