Nothing's bleaker than the future, except maybe the past.

And its not like me, you know, to try to forget everything that happened and put it away. But sometimes, the urge to confront things just gets overwhelmed by my own ineptitude and lack of control over every little crapshit around me, and thats ok, right? And its sort of necessary, and theres sort of nothing i can do about it, and thats sort of what i tell myelf, so i can sort of forget about things that i sort of liked and sort of hated. Bye-bye to the sort-of-summer, hello to hell of junior year. It was a good run. I miss the kids at the boys and girls club, and working with liana. It's not gone yet, but i'll miss the hours i spent at the park playing ball or cards or whining (masculine whining) about this girl and that girl, or just not doing much at all and saying stupid crap as if we were high, which wasn't all the time, it was just the way we were. I'll miss the backyard gang, the people i grew up with, the people that saw me broke my arm, and the people that i know are going to go to college soon and oh man what am i going to do about that. I've got plans, baby, I've got plans for myself, I'm moving forward, left, right, and 180 degrees from now I'll look back at some shit I've been through and say "that was some shit i went through." and then me, and the person next to me who i would obviously be talking to, would just laugh, and laugh.

Peace, summer 04.