Catch up,

I made a new friend, I think my friend that died made it happen.

I miss him.

I am leaving school.

I got a job in a big high end fashion store.

The boy is going out with his best friends ex-slut girlfriend.

They "love" eachother.

And rub my face in it in class.

Mum seems to hate me atm, 'cos I try to steal the baby brothers attention possibly?

My room reflects my head in the sense that it's so messy I wouldn't know where to start.

I am in love with a band called peaches.

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do.
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought just stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could have done in another way
to make you stay
Reason will not pledge a solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
as long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
Love me love me
I know that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Birthday to me...

What a stupid phrase, it just reminds you of all you've not got to be happy for.

I'm in love with a boy who clearly doesn't feel the same. I'm fat. Failing school. None of my friends I can truly say I'd miss if I wasn't with them. And my best friend is my mum.

So the boy didn't get me a present. Invited me to the zoo with his family. I went. He was a dick. Full stop.

I went on a driving lesson that was quite good actually. That's it though.

Why, oh why is my life like this. I just want motivation to study and exercise and not eat.

I just want a boy to fall in love with me and become my best friend again.

I want a best friend who I can tell everything to and trust with my life.

That would be the best present ever.

What is so bad about me that life is like this,

I can't stop crying.

I don't know what to do anymore.

...