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| I've moved my blog elsewhere, ask me and I may tell you where it is.
Cheerio Xanga. | | |
| I have decided that Xanga really bites. | | |
| Bah! Okay not feeling so hot, so I must bitch about it.
I MISS MY FUCKING FRIENDS~!
God I wish everyone wasn't on the other side of the galaxy so I could see them more often than once a fuckin year.
I am such a potty mouth, so sorry. -_-
Anyway I've discussed that maybe I will head up to NY early next year to meet some peoples. I know of three wonderful ladies that live up there, but I will most likely only be able to stay with one of them and the rest will have to come to me if they are willing.
Today I hung out with Mandi, my 14 yr old metal-head friend. She's really sweet and is probably the only decent human being in this city that I can stand for any surmountable period of time. She really enjoys my company and I can tell, thats so awesome. Too bad she's a CHILD.
Gah, why is it I'm drawn to young girls? I guess anyone my age would be done with college and in a career by now. And here I am stuck in this horrid shell that I'm trying really hard to discard.
Being male has cost me many many years of my life, years I can never get back. All that life was wasted because now I'm just ruining it all, ruining my reputation, ruining everyones perception of me. Cause really, who could ever respect orlove a transexual? We're nothing but deviant freaks right?
Well okay noone has ever been that mean to call me names yet, maybe I'm the only one who thinks so low of myself.
Guess its time to set up another appointment with the good head doctor.
I feel like a kid.
I really do think like a child sometimes cause being a girl is so new to me, I'm going through puberty again. I see things differently, I appeciate people alot more maybe.
It's like starting over.
I still have no confidence, no motivation, no drive, the only thing I can think about is how I hate being the person that it seems everyone I know percieves me as. Okay, that's a preety weird thing for a child to think, but whatever, I gots issues.
Very few people know the real me.
It's sad really.
But times, they are a-changin.
No I do not sound southern. -_-
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| Yesterday I purchased the wonderous Yuu-Na-Kron! or Unicron for the uninformed non-toy nuts.
He is SO COOL, and looks so much better than in the pics that I've seen online.
I opened him this morning, it took me about 20 minutes just to get him out of his twist tie prison.
I've been mostly working for the past few days.
When I'm not working, I'm sleeping. Today I felt incredibly weak, like I was walking really slow cause my hip hurt, and well my entire body was aching. I could barely lift anything.
Tonight I have work again, that's 3 days in a row. I usually get a day off inbetween work days, but not this week.
Cuddling Unicron helps ease the pain a little though. | | |
| My great Aunt died this past weekend.
Yesterday I went to see her.
Today I have a HUGE headache, so the Otfuck writeup will have to wait till whenever.
I heard that Dayla was uncomfortable with my visit.
That's heartbreaking let me tell you.
I think she took my unorthodox affection as something more than what it was.
Maybe I should just lay off people huh?
I just want my friends to feel like theres someone who cares about them, which I do.
Then they hate me for it.
Well fine if they don't want my affection. All anyone has to do is tell me to stop and I will. I know what no means, I've heard it alot. | | |
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