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| people i love.i love....
1. tori spelling ....
> for her borderline cliche yet equally touching "love knows no gender" spiel on her blog after officiating the first marriage at her Chateaus and for her amazing VH1 show which I wish had a season 2.
2. zac efron ....
> because he is hot as fuck and has not been in a movie that i have ever disliked.
3. amy winhouse ....
> for her "my tears dry on their own" video and her incredibly drug laden relationship and boney ass body and the song "valerie."
and
4. megatron ....
> because he was always my favorite transformer.
so my daydreams lately have become amazingly vivid. in the most recent i'm a celebrity. okay, nothing fresh and so new new, but the details interlacing themselves within my daytime reveries have become rather stark to say the least. let me elaborate a bit.. (amuse me) ..so in my daydreams, i'm famous right, but not as absurd as 'i starred in three D-listed horror flicks and get an occasional sympathy invite to a new product launch or something' .. more legitmate and respectfully well known that i get into star and us weekly every so often buying groceries or walking down a street... i am the new co-host on the view and started dating Shia Lebeouf.. which enabled me to make the weeklies often enough but wasn't as vulgar as Paris or Nicole. (God bless them). at this point I am the darling of the View and start doing side
projects like star in a handful of indie flicks with Parker Posey and
I'm getting photographed shopping in Soho with Shia and hanging out
with Scarlett Johansen, smoking on fire escapes at hipster parties, etc. then i get quoted bitching out on the vulagrity of Lindsay, Paris, Nicole and have an on-air fight with elizabeth hasselfuck (not of the same calibar as the infamous rose/elisabeth battle but close enough) but i'm the darling of the View so it quickly passes.
Shia is in all these new movies and is quickly becoming the everyday star and we're known as down to earth and only associate with other down to earth entertainment people.. and during the breaking point of who knows, i'm walking down the street with some friends from school when a pap asks me where is Shia and I'm like, "Who knows" shrugs and keeps walking.. this fuels all these rumors right.. and while I'm in London promoting my latest Indie flick "Public Transport Makes Me Racist" its the question on everyone's lips. (i'm so lame, i kow)
so Shia and I move into this really rankly place downtown to dispell all the rumors and we start having even more relationship problems that are plastered all over the tabloids and there are pictures of me storming out of our walk up carrying a box and me bitching out a photographer leaving a shnazzy retaurant and Shia getting wasted and missing photoshoots or whatever he does.
And then we break up and there are massive amounts of pictures of me moving out and at this point i've lost like 30 pounds and become the new face of manorexia (eat that Carson).. and I start dating some new up and coming strung out druggy british grunge emo rocker and move into a ritzy joint in Chelsea but I'm like mad skinny and start being a no-show to the daily tapings of the view and there is all this controversy and a Star headline (cover page darling) goes... "Barbra Confronts Justin" and "Justin To Leave the View for UK" etc. Since everyone loves Shia there is a sort of media backlash but I've displayed enough decency that it isn't malicious enough to ruin me. Then there are pictures of me with in wellingtons walking through the mud at that Scottish or English musical festival in the mud, etc. because we hop back and forth across the pond.
so my grungy rockster boyfriend wants to move back to London and even says it outloud during an interview and i consider it but i love the view and decide to stay but maintain a long distance relationship which is laden with rumors, etc.. at this point me and Shia are seen having dinner in LA and shopping the next day at Fred Segals. And then the both of us hanging out with Alice from the L Word and then I have a guest appearance on the L Word as the spunky neighbor who feels genuinly in love with Shane.. at this point the rumor mill is going berserk because we, as a gay couple in the public eye, have come across as normal yet have fallen into the disfunctional hollywood story.. but anyway me and rockster his name is like Hermit Crab break up publicly and then Shia and I are photographed in Cabo and take a vacation in Malaysia and get back together but he's started shooting heroin and I'm still fucking too skinny (as if) and then I start hanging out with Amy Winehouse and have sex with her soon-to-be husband and then at some point we move in together for like two days but return to the our respective partners.. but then i bump into Amy Winehouse at a premier and she beats the shit out of me but we reunite b/c really its just too crazy and she writes a song about me on her next album (that is, if she hasn't died from an overdose before completion.)
and then one day on the View in my manorexic glory and sleep deprivation, Elisabeth questions my weight loss and behavior and I remain silent.
I enter rehab with Shia. We're photographed on a beach detoxing at a resort rehab. I get out. Re-join the The View and they dedicate an episode to my recovery.
Then Shia and I adopt a little asian baby girl and name her Saffron.
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| i enjoy my internship.
i enjoy the nice weather.
i enjoy "buy one smoothie, get the second one free" coupons from Jamba Juice. (thanks esther)
i enjoy lil kim and biggie.
i enjoy koda kumi.
i enjoy coupon books from Dunkin Doughnuts.
i enjoy discounts from Barney' Co-op. (thanks ana)
i enjoy netflix.
i enjoy amuro namie's new album "play" that was leaked a week early.
i enjoy the public library.
i enjoy selling books on amazon.com. ( http://www.amazon.com/seller/heisberserk )
i enjoy Mark Liu.
i enjoy "holy fire" by Bruce Sterling. .... .please read it, i think its a very accurate portrayal of the world in 2094.. in terms of our healthcare system and medical advancements and mentality.
i enjoy that Caryn got a job in the same building as me.
i enjoy madison sq. park.
i enjoy the six train but not the four.
i enjoy netflix. (yes, that much)
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| mmmmmm. i miss binghamton because...
1. the lack of traffic.
2. wegmans.
3. lack of people.
4. the bing dollar.
5. the 5minute drives anywhere.
6. mark liu. :(
7. bumping into people that make my day.
i don't miss bing because...
1. my bed is bigger and more comfortable
2. i have a reason to get dressed up now
3. i'm alone a lot more and its suprisingly nice
4. i have a borders
5. my parents play phil collins on the stereo and it plays all over the house
6. i wake up to phil collins blasting on the speakers
7. walking to my car does not involve a 3 hour trek into the parking lot
8. my laundry actually gets folded.
in other news, i bought a new laptop: the black macbook.. and i have to say that yes, i was one of those people who thought that the second i got a mac my life would change into one that included massive amounts of swedish meatballs, minimalistic furniture, and really, really white walls. but, its just a laptop and i do enjoy it.
also, i def. shower a lot more when i am home than at school and its actually quite refreshing. except i'm going through qtips like whoah.
i am also interning at a pr boutique firm in chelsea which, I have to say, is def. someplace i want to work, and yes, i know i only had my first day, but any place that lets you wear anything you want, come in whenever you want, and has the most amazingly chill people is A-Ok in my book.
the heat is boiling my brain and i'm afraid i might be losing my mind, but its all good b/c i'm blasting some danii minogue and throwing grapes at my dad and losing my mind is a regular occurance.
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| why i love s.korea 
REASON #1... RAIN
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my 3 day birthday celebration was a complete success and i didn't even have to plan a thing.
to great friends, massive amounts of alcohol, and cuddles.
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