| My life is so stressful right now. I feel like I am taking what I have for granted. Right now things are starting to pick up again, but I still feel somewhat unhappy. I know, I know I'm whining like a little bitch, but its true. On Monday I asked my good friend Allishia to be my girlfriend. She didn't even hesitate with her answer, which was pretty cool (she said yes by the way). The thing is, I don't know how much I really like her. Let me explain before you start calling me names that I probably deserve. I know that I really like Allishia as friend, and I think that I kind of like her as more. I like the way that we hold hands, and the way that we hug. When I'm with her I have so much fun, it's almost like I'm happy again. This is the closest, so far, that I've been to the way I felt before my other relationship ended. It's just that when Allishia and I kiss it feels like there is something missing. I'm not saying that she is a bad kisser, don't get me wrong, she's great. It's just that every time that I kissed Lindsey (my ex-girlfriend), there was this feeling that swept over my entire body. I don't even know how to describe it. That feeling is not there with Allishia. I think that I may be expecting a little too much too soon from this relationship. Hell, we've only been going out for three days. The problem is that I keep comparing this relationship to the one that I had with Lindsey. However, these relationships are two different things. With Lindsey I fell head over heels in love, and I ended up just falling on my head. With Allishia, I just want to have fun with someone I like, this time around I'm going to be a hell of a lot more careful about the way that I feel. I know what you may be thinking, but no she is not the rebound girl. After the horrible ending to my relationship with Lindsey, it was like I had shot an airball, you know totally missing the backboard. So with Allishia this is like a completely different shot. All I can do is hope that I don't screw things up. Anyways, other than being completely confused about that aspect of my life, thing are going pretty well. I try to do something everyday, just to keep busy. Lately Ive been going to the mall to play DDR. It kind of sucks because I have to walk 2.5 miles just to go to the mall, and most of the time I'm a loner. Other than that though, it's pretty damn fun. This Friday I'm going to make an example out of Absolute. All I can say is that he better bring his AAA game, because he'll need that to beat my AA game. So anyone that wants to see a great DDR tournament, come to the mall on Friday at 4:30- 5 o'clock. This STAR testing really sucks. I keep finishing the tests with more than an hour left, and then I have nothing to do. It really does suck. Well, I think that should do it for my first "real" entry for my xanga. I hope you all like it, oh wait thats right, I really don't care. Whatever. |
