uT_mAomaO's Xanga

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 00:21:59 GMT

hi um... i dont really update xanga anymore.. for more stuff about me please go to

www.myspace.com/chinkstah_gurl

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 20:34:48 GMT

greg made this for me one day.. it was really sweet :)

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 14:48:26 GMT

oh man oh man why do i think of him when i sleep but during the day im fine.. whats wrong with me? do i still love him after all the things thats happen to us? even though we dont talk i think i still love him very much.. somethings wrong with me i need to move on but i cant.. thats why i sit in my room waiting for him to talk to me.. also playing video games to get him out of my mind..

Friday, May 26, 2006

Fri, 26 May 2006 17:43:11 GMT

lots of things... hehe ^^ update pics later? :o

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Wed, 10 May 2006 00:20:57 GMT

sorry if i havent really writting in this.. juss didnt have the motivation to write in here anymore but here goes nothing right?

ever since me and greg broke up, theres juss been an open space in my heart. everytime he would come online my hurt juss hurts to know that im not talking to him anymore.. and when i looked at the fone i notice that im not on it anymore. then i open my fone and i see a pic of us together happy... on my wallhe gave me a pic that he took with the perfect snapshot of a cactus rose. he gave me a bear so when i held it at night i would think of him.. which i still do. its really hard to let go someone that u really love... gettin over it with a snap of a finger just isnt possible.. im sure that if u loved someone so much that you would feel the same way too.. now when we talk its either him making fun of me or something i said or his juss bored and has nothing to do but make me cry.. i think maybe why i still like him is because i know that he can be a sweet person and i like that.. i like that a lot.. 3 weeks and 5 days without him....

so last weekend i went to prom with weiwei. it was fun.. i saw jiaqi, austin, and jeff. didnt really dance much cuz i wasnt really comfortable dancing with someone i dont really hang out with u know.. but whatever thats me.. i think i get embarressed cuz i dance funny or something lol... then went to an afterparty and saw john.. he forgot my name lol.. but i remembered his.. what a loser! then weiwei took me home and i slept..

so last night.. i ended up hanging out with someone that i thought i would never hang out with ever! haha.. it was kyle.. yea havent heard me talk about him in hellaz huh? haha.. yea yea i know.. i was pyscho back then.. i mean shit i would run away from me to.. but cant get all that excited about things got to chill out.. i went over to his bros house and we chilled talked and watched a bugs life.. which stopped in the middle and we dont know why.. lol kyle was trying to operate the dvd thing on the big screen thats connected to the computer and he couldnt figure it was it was funny lol.. what a dork :P

my friends tell me to move on but its juss really hard and i dont know.. i guess im all confused n shit and i dont know what to do anymore but be lonely n shit.. i juss want to know whats going on inside of gregs head.. how can he get over me so fast? how can he already fuck a girl after a week of us breaking up. my friends tell me that i can do better than that. to have a jerk like greg.. they know the pain that i go through.. its juss that greg thinks im not going through any pain at all.. he thinks that this isnt affecting me at all.. UGH....

what i looked like at prom..

my pics from kali.. sorry took so long

yachts

greg

greg

more yachts

bridge where we drove on

greg looking out :D

a place where u can do things =o forgot name..

greg at a anchor

greg at the beach

beach

more beach

greg drinking

wahoo's fish taco

some mexican food it was GOOD

greg eatting his mexican food!

me at his house

lol a pic of us

Greg + Diana
o1.o5.o6-o4.13.o6

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 18:25:12 GMT

stole this song from ming <3! :D

Sam Salter-Love Again

(spoken)
now this girl could have easily been
juss another girl in tha black book
but what i loved about her most is that
she genuinly loved me for who i am
i mean i gave her all my love she never asked for more than i could give
and i think thats what made me wanna take another chance on love

now i can write a song about falling in love
but i can't seem to find to find myself
so many times i wanted to say that u take my breath away
and i bathe in the past i won't let go
but there's something u need to know

Chorus
i just wanna love again
i'm sick and tired of tryin' to pretend
that i dont need love again
cuz it hurts too much without love
i just wanna feel again
what it feels like to be in love
so i'm gonna let u in
and take another chance on love

now i can be a million miles away
i'm own out desperate out lost in outer space
no matter how hard i fight it
i try to run away
love tracks me down and grabs ahold
and sometimes just won't let go

Chorus
i just wanna love again
i'm sick and tired of tryin' to pretend
that i don't need love again
cuz it hurts too much without love
i just wanna feel again
what it feels like to be in love
so i'm gonna let u in
and take another chance on love
on love on love o-o-on love
and take another chance...

you are the wind beneath my wings
you are my soul my everything
you are the reason why i keep on trying
to fall in love one more time
giving my heart my all to you
baby there's nothing i won't do for your love
won't do for your touch

Chorus
i just wanna love again
i'm sick and tired of tryin' to pretend
that i don't need love again
cuz it hurts too much without love
i just wanna feel again
what it feels like to be in love
so i'm gonna let u in
and take another chance on love
on love... o-o-o-on love
and take another chance on love

Friday, April 14, 2006

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 10:53:35 GMT

Greg + Diana

o1.o5.o6-o4.13.o6

well the greatest thing in my life has ended... now i dont know what to do.. my friends tell me to come out but i dont want to.. i juss want to sit in my room and rot to death.. i dont even feel like eatting anymore.. i only eat cuz i force myself to so i dont get dizzy and run into walls like last night. im so stupid.. its all my fault that he ran away.. why do all the guys i date run away? there is no one that will ever stay.. maybe im ment to die alone.. yup thats it.. ill die alone! im so stupid! UGH *hits my head* ugh i dont feel good.. everything reminds me of him no matter what it is.. i hugged his teddy bear last night to see if he wud come back or kall me but it didnt work.. maybe everynight when i hug his teddy bear itll work.. but we will see huh? he told me last night that he is going to cancel his cingular fone.. so i guess i wont be talking to him ever again.. i guess its finally over but i dont want it to be.. so imma pretend that we are together around my family.. maybe i can still keep it alive in my brain.

last night i dreamt of him.. he told me that he had a great time with another girl.. all i dreamt last night was of him with different girls and that scares me.. i dont want to think about it but its bound to happen later on in time.. i know i wont be with anyone.. i jus want to be with him but im the stupid girl that did the stupid mistake.. everythings my fault... my did i make this all happen! maybe i shud punish myself in my own style? what u think? yea i think i shud.. by hurtting myself! or maybe shud i keep my promise to greg? but we arent together or friends.. so why not!

ever since we broke up my head, heart, and whole body hurts.. iano if i can do anything anymore.. bye bye to all the wonderful memories that me and greg had.. bye bye to my life..

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 10:50:44 GMT

ek sorry i havent updated in like hellaz pplz!! eh.. i bet u dont even come to my page anymore but whatever.. make a quick little update right now.

right now im in kali and i was sleeping in this wonderful guy's bed but i cudnt sleep anymore since he wasnt in it. he has to sleep in a diff room cuz his mom sed so =( so im all lonely how sad!! but yea i cant believe im here!! i love you greg and always will ^^

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 23:45:18 GMT

ok so i had to write a poem for this contest for class and here it is.. i think it soundz cool =)

i long to be with you

we are so close yet so far

the only way to hold each other is in my dreams

where we are together

everything is perfect

can't this moment last forever?

even the most wonderful dreams

have to end eventually...

then heres 2 poems that greg wrote to me that day. there so sweet =) i <3 u greg!!

minute after minute, day after day, week after week, month after month

i sit here perplexed with these emotions stiring

what do they mean, how do i explain them

traped in a sea of emotions, only the calm of your arms comforts me

as i hold you, the noise of the world dies down

only you and me are left in this work

as lonely as it seems , its a feeling i long for

minute after minute, day after day, week after week, month after month

longing to see you again...

waiting until this chaos subsides...

until one again you are in my arms...

you are beautiful...

like a warm summers day

like the sun on the beach

like a soft spring breeze

like a giant white blanket of snow

like the love of a family

you are beautiful...

like a Wahoo's fish taco

like a piece of art work

like the feeling of happiness

you are beautiful...

like the way you make me feel

like the things you say

like the quiet silence we have

like the goofy fights we start

you are beautiful...

after reading these i had nothing to say i was so stunned that someone like him wud feel this greatly about me. i mean im nothing special and i dont even know why he likes me but he told me that i changed his life that i made him come down. he used to think that clothes were everything that u had to look fly but not around me. if he even tries ill beat him up :D its juss a couple more days until he actually comes. i cant wait! i really do <3 u! =)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 18:46:50 GMT

Greg + Diana
o1.o5.o6

lets see what has gone on for the past month or whatever.. been talkin to this guy named greg.. i thought he was always mean n shit but after we got to know each other.. he was a really nice guy :D we talk for like hours on end.. its hella krazy! all i talk n think about was him.. god i was so crazy over him it was hella crazy.. i think im obsessed or some shit yo.. i think my mom kinda noticed to. then he finally told me that he was coming to stl to come visit me.. i was like omg are u serious and he was like yea.. i became so excited u dont even know. then he decided to get a cingular fone juss so we can talk somemore.. and he did..

on the day that he came i was so excited to get out of school to go pick him up but i was so nervous at the same time and so was he.. he kalled me when he got off the plane and sed that he was coming up. i saw him but he told me later that he was thinkin oh shit she saw me i wonder if she'll like me.. he came over and sat down. he wanted a hug but i was so stunned that he was right there in front of me that i cudnt get up to give him a hug. it was pretty funny. the first thing i sed to him was hello greggy.. haha.. im such a dork sometimes =\ but i guess i cant help it huh. i finally got up to give him a hug but i think he sat right back down and talked for a little then we drove off to find him a hotel by my house. which we did at the holiday inn.. i hung out with him for a little at his hotel. we had our first kiss.. it was so awsome.. we went to eat at tgi fridays it was our first date then i had to go home for school the next day.

the next day i cudnt wait til i got out of school to go see him. i wanted to suprise him by going to his room but he was alrdy awake. it was gay =\ we did some stuff for myself then we went to hang out with paul after school at white castles cuz greg never tried white castles. i was kinda stunned. after white castles we went over to joshs. paul picked him up. then we headed to tee time. i met some of pauls friends and i saw wei. then later me and greg went to go see a movie kalled geisha. it was good i liked it but i really wanted to see hostle but it was a full theater =\ then i dropped him off at his hotel

on saturday i kinda slept in so it took me a while to get to gregs hotel but i got there around 1. we went to the mall to hang out n shit. we juss mostly chilled all day didnt do nothing special. i had promised him that i wud at least sleep with him at his hotel. so i slept at his hotel. it was so nice i actually got to wake up with greg next to me. it was so wonderful

went to hang out with brian and chris. me and greg met up with brian at walmart cuz we were bored then we went up to crestwood and they sed they were closed so we went to meet up with chris at brians old work place. chris got a new truck and brian went to race him and got smoked in the face. we went to brians new place and we watched this car video he had then i had to leave for school so i dropped greg off at his hotel cuz i had to go to school the next day

went to school then missed tech so i cud take greg to the airport. i went to his hotel room and i cried for a little cuz i didnt want to see him leave. we hung out at his hotel then he checked out and we went to eat at lions choice. then we went to west county mall to look around. he wanted me to pick out a bear at build a bear so he can buy it for me but i was like no. =) then we headed to the airport.. we sat in my car for a while. i cried cuz i still cudnt take it. i didnt even get out to give him a hug goodbye.. im so bad =\

when we kiss i can feel that it is right. my heart beats fast and im glad that im kissing him n stuff. iano how to explain it but im so happy. never felt like this before.

he bought a plane ticket back on feb 10-15. cant wait til that day comes. his going to be here on valentines day. im so excited. never actually had a bf during valentines day before i dont think lol..

here are some pics

him and me

him and me

him and me

him that juss got out of the shower

greg and me

he wanted me to take this to laugh at my crooked parking

after i get done eattin i fold my wrapped on left and how he does his on right

i love this pic of greg it was at lions choice

me at lions choice

gregs fav pic of me

pic of us together