B: small piece of flat bread (idk what it's called) w/ cheese

L: 1/4 pita bread w/ 1 piece of turkey & 1 piece of cheddar cheese

D: non-fat vanilla latte

it's just too clear that this prob. is the biggest one for me- the one that keeps me from living and enjoying life (if those aren't already the same thing). w/out adderall it's a bigger prob. + the party we had over the weekend w/ the huge, gigantic cake w/ fattening horrible buttercream filling. but at least i can wear/fit into the outfit (well the green polo shirt) i wore in high school w/out looking like rosie o'donnel or something, but the jeans are another story. why do you lose wt. on top first? and stupidly disproportionately too.

i'm smoking cloves again too, which is great & really takes ur mind off food, and also gives u a kinda weird awesome high feeling- would be great to do that before going to the gym haha- and have loads of energy after smoking it. but i seem to get lazier every day. or it's like i won't go until after i get thin/toned enuf to go in the first place. i fucking hate working out next 2 girls who i just know are ana. it just makes me wanna leave/ give up/ or have another clove... it sucks and i think we should all look exactly alike- body-wise. everyone.