It has been only a few hours since I returned from the Debate at Delta, but I am pretty much bummed. I know, I know, irrational and mopey. Hear me out at least.

The whole time I felt scrutinized, alienated, isolated...and so incredibly anxious. I haven't ate today and I can't seem to get myself to eat, because I lost my appetite. Eek. My brother doesn't understand that an "Anxiety Disorder" is not something you can 'just get over' when you feel like it.

But I remembered my Raven's Gift telling me to "write my feelings out". And this tune started playing in my head and I dished out a sort of song-like thing. Not my best but at least its' honest.

Isolate Me Friendly

Isolate me / Isolate me friendly

They stare / They watch

I stare up at the clock.

They speak to me in jest... / five minutes counting down

If everyone is joking / where is the fire?

Demeaning words / logs for the pyre.

emotions. / These silly notions.

Isolate me / Isolate me friendly

Don't bother with inclusion / I only entertain reclusion / My persona is illusion

Fragile things shatter / Words of me / I hear the whispers.

I can not speak. 

I'm lying to faces / I'm hiding in places

It's my own fault and I know this.

Knowing and Fixing are two different things

wrapped and entwined within anxious memories.

Isolate me / Isolate me friendly

Like joking and sneering / Which one is which?

Can everyone be playing a game,

Or am I right?

I wear a target where a target might be.

Now while I was transcribing the 'song' I added to it and editted it. The first words to come to my head were 'Isolate me Isolate me friendly' and I found it an interesting way to say it. Other than that, the forward slash sort of 'denotes' a quickened pace...a sudden shift. And it just looks cool.

I have an anxiety disorder by the way. He he.