Intellect v s Faith

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two paradoxes came to my attention today.

___w0w, conveniently written right before valentine's day.. a lil sumtn for both the males and females to dwell upon...

[ 1 ] today in my english class, we were discussing one of Ernest Hemingway's works, Hills Like White Elephants. for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of reading it yet, go read it, its not too long.. http://www.fti.uab.es/sgolden/docencia/hills.htm .. Hemingway's classic use of his theory of omission, blended in with his sophisticated style, truly defines the basis of modernism. in discussion today, we elaborated on the point of males and females; since the story revolved around the question of abortion.. we were left discussing their motives and decisions. Jig was very skeptical and unsure about the procedure, she always seemed to drift away from their important decision and wander off into her own safe paradise.. the hills like white elephants. the hills were used as symbolism throughout the story, to represent the unborn baby as a white elephant. the dictionary defines a white elephant as, "an object no longer of value to its owner but of value to others." she saw her baby as an insignificant burden. she was willing to put the man's feelings first, before her own. she was willing to base her own decision upon his reaction. this reveals her lack of maturity and young age. we find Jig asking herself the timeless question many women ask themselves, "does he love me?" although the man in the story was much older than the woman was, and we expect him to have more of a mature outlook on life, his human male instincts were present to question his decisions. for a moment it seemed that he truly did love Jig, because he wanted to do what was in her best interest. but it slowly begins to focus as we see that he loves traveling while enjoying her company. but does he love her? he dosen't seem capable of distinguishing the difference between loving her presence and company from actually loving HER as a person; her heart, mind, and soul. the truth is.. he was just another man... men see it like this, "sex and food", i quote u mr. baker lol. women on the other hand see it in a totally different light.. while men see sex and love as two totally different matters.. women see sex and love as two intertwining things.. in a woman's point of view, sex comes after love.. when you truly love a person and give them your all.. theres sex, when two souls interwine within one another. the human male instinct declares for the man to plant his seed as many times as possible.. go somewhere else, and do it all over again.. its human nature and it can never be put to a halt. men and women are as different as day and night.. mr. baker is sucha crazy teacher.. but he was only preaching the truth.. to a certain extent that is.

[ 2 ] at church on sunday, familiar verses were read from the bible.. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. im sure a lot of you are familiar with this one..

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (this last line is the line that is engraved on the tombstone found by my uncle gerry's final resting place.. it's aLwAyS caught my eye...)

///>_ so those were the two paradoxes.. intellect through thoughtful analyzing, and faith from the Lord Himself. so which one should i fall back on? should i question my faith or intellect? ive grown and matured a lot since my first relationship.. but everytime it always seems the same. i find someone, and i think everything is perfect, and i think im happy.. and then in an instant.. i lose it all. i realized that i base a lot of things off of the movies, and what is supposed to happen: boy meets girl, they fall in love, they live happily ever after.. then end. eversince i was a little girl, i remember always being read the beautiful fairy tales.. come on.. everyone knows them: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, etc etc etc. i was always brought up to believe that us ladies are always ALWAYS to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity. the men are supposed to treat us like ladies; always hold open doors, pull out chairs, kiss our hands and foreheads, all the gentleman stuff. nowadays we're being taken advantage of by the sex-crazed media; janet jackson and her freakn boob for goodness sake.. us ladies are being sucked into the whole sex scene i tell you. what happened to the amazingly beautiful simplicity that came along with all the fairy tales? the magic.. the true bliss... the warm fuzzy feeling ai got when i first saw prince charming kiss cinderella? or the scene from beauty and the beast i fell in love with; when the two of them are dancing in the breathtaking candlelit ballroom by themselves? iunno.. maybe i just need to let go and break away from my childish ways.. and accept this new wave of what i see as nothingness... as i sit back and read this, there's no way i'll ever EvEr let go of my beautiful childhood dreams. its been my only escape and the only thing i could ever fall back on....

EDIT:// o2o4o4

i absolutely love my english3 class.. mr. baker rocks. we discuss real issues that are present in our everyday lives, its dope cause we're all at a mature level where we can talk about interesting topics. to sum up our discussion from the previous day, mr. baker threw out a couple of things for the class (and some hints for the guys haha): men need women, they make us better than when we're without them, after a man gets married.. he seems to settle down. he still has fun, but he settles down, some men like the man in the story, completely miss the point of having a wife.. the companionship, probably the most important part of marriage, when a man's wife dies, he seems to die not too long after her.. so if all men act like doggs at times, and try to get with every female with tits and an ass.. then why would they put themselves through all the pain and agony of losing her when they could go back to having anyother woman?... Time changes one's point of view.

peace out.. n RoCk tha fuq out.....

u jez hurrd: "the trouble with love is" +kelly clarkson+

s i m p l i c i t y

helluh cheezn..

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oh how the simple lil things make me smile... GoOdNeSs.. the smallest lil things a person can do, can put the BiGgEsT smile on this guhrl's face yo! ill b sittn in class.. learning.. tryn 2get my education on.. lol, then the unexpected happens... mwahahaha... ai think bout austin.. n how hes sucha big dorky loser.. lol, how he kant BoB his head correctly haha, the funniest sight in the entire world. spendin time wit him is lyk my release, i can jez forget bout my day.. n all the bogus stuff.. and ai can jez be there, that very moment... with him. it truly is the best.. yesterday b came over twice.. the second time he ended up surprisin me after i got outta the shower.. u SICK pervert u! mwahaha, jk b.. n then my ma n meh fed him.. thass all austin does now wen he comes over.. we feed him, n then we take a nap lol. surriousely, thass bin the routine lately haha. 2day b came over.. he BeAT me home again! b0o0o no fair haha.. then we played salon n i got 2wash his hurr fo him. it was fun.. lyk givn a puppy a bath lol. ur so adorable b... n then we tuk a nap while watchn tru calling.. yeupz, that was my day after my long day at skul fo yrbk... thank u fo urythn so far austin...

EDIT:// @802pm on jan30o4

sittn @home.. supposed 2go out but pshhh iunno wut happnd. lol, waitd fo ppl 2holluh at d cel, n ended up falln asleep in my room.. ahhhh, that felt so gud. i fell asleep writin in my book, next to the candle light, listenin to chyl music, and with my bible by my side. sooo soothing and comforting hehe. today melis n meh had 2stay after skul again 4yrbk blaaah, gay deadline.. hey, i really think i redeemed myself, so all is gud. since im sucha gud friend, i called up melis's momma n sed happy bday!!! hehe, thankz fo urythn auntie.. ur awesome! stay home on ur bday.. dun go 2work lol. then melis n meh ran sum errands rite quik, pikkd up the cake, pikkd up steph n droppd her off, pikkd up our paychecks n then i went home. s0o00o yeahhh, hurr i am rite now.. tired as hell @811pm lol... niiice, i think imma go bak 2sleep. OMG.. before ai foget!!! AI GOT A NEW BABY COUSIN!!!! yayyyyy!!!! happy birthday Nathaniel Joseph Javier Corpuz.. we looooveee u already, cant wait 2see u baby boy!!!

peace out.. n RoCk tha fuq out......

u jez hurrd: "the trouble with love is" +kelly clarkson+

Ai LuHvS. . .

uRy1 wUn oF u!!

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THE B E S T B I R T H D A Y WEEKEND E V E R!!!

thursday my day o122 BaYbeEH!! represent!!! wuuut wuuttt.. kev gave meh his bday prez at skul, fukkn awesome shit, iss in my room yo.. i love it!!

friday my fukkn BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! holy shit... it was the best ever... i was s0o0o0 glad that most of my friends showd up.. i havnt chyld wit ury1 in a minute yo, i LOVED ury minute of it.. from the lapdances mwahaha, gettn caked, the awesome presents, n jez havn all the ppl that love meh there. WoWie.. n my old bestfriend lloyd showd up too! dammmn hommie, havnt seen u in foever then u jez dip lyke that w/o sayn bye.. fukker! lol, nx tyme nalang... PICTURE TIME mwahaha.. pix courtousey of nhu, kimmie, darryl, n marie. READY FO SUM AI CANDEEE?!

i was skurrd.. they VIOLATED meh! lol "ai don't want 2b 17 anymore" (ai frantically explain to melis n erikah)

OmG.. it was gettn too hott in hurr yo.. marie n ava.. do ur parentz kno u kan move lyk that? haha

ai had 2keep the blindfold on.. my virgin AIz! i feared wut i wud see if i tuk it of lol

marie put hur boobies in my face!! lol.. they wuz all up on meh!! marie ur so fukkn hott mwahaha

kUyA JuKn JeD.. hahaha, i think dass his new name

jj n chris ohhh gosh.. my boys.. all straddln meh n shit haha.. shit i wont DENY it.. ai lykd it.. annnnd wut? lol.. hey, who woodnt? BUT... I MISSED MY B TERRIBLY the whole night! hehe

and after all the MAdD jukn n lapdances... im quite happy mwahaha

all the ppl i love all in wun room.. i REALLY tried 2make a wish.. then i realized that i already had everythin and urythin ne1 cud ever EVER ax for

lol.. ate tuk the first hit wit tha cake yo.. all up in my EYE.. haha, pshhh luk at hur guilty face haha

im jez tryn 2fukkn get cleand up then jess jez hasta do it again huh? lol.. it must b the BUDDY BAND BOND yo

ahhh shnapz, its nhu (freak on a leash, mwahaha.. unleash the dragon guhrl!) n ai (gAngztAh!)

my othur half.. mz melis.. i luh u boo! tnx fo urythn.. wurr the fuk is jess? haha

dude!! this is a lotta fukkn ppl up in the crb yo haha.. yeup, half the asian population in gurnee was at my crb on friday night hehe

awww.. my lintyboo n ai.. MISS U n JJ in algebra!!

darryl n meh! 0o0 less start steppn yo hehe

0o0 go erikah.. PiMp yo. harry, jj, brian, erikah n juju

damn erikah.. all up on my pole.. WoRk iT..

lotta ppl...

haha chek out all these damn heffers all up in my kitchen.. nhu, melis, darryl, ralph, erikah, harry, mike, chloe

awww.. chek it, alphi n marie.. ey alphi.. wuss red n white alllll over?! u: BLOOD CELLS?!? haha

yay.. time fo my presents! thass me in the red baseball cap on the ground. JESS N MELIS R THE BESTEST EVER!!! THEY GOT ME MY ELECTRIC GUITAR.. yay!! now i kan RoCk OuT!!

ahding jayson... ur ateh LuHvS u!!

late night shot: nhu, kimmie, jay, atong, juju, meh n my b, sam, jed

OSCD.. lol, all late bout it.. my othur half melis, my dope guhrl erikah, meh n my b austin

saturday woke up late cuz i went 2bed round 3am lol... dope ass partaay yo. sheryl, paul, baby monalisa n auntie fina came by.. we all went out to eat @olive garden. wow oh wow, the bestest food newun will ever have.. didnt even finish my food man haha. then went home, had 2run sum errands real quik.. then ausTIN beat meh home.. b0o0o no fair lol. so then we wurr supposed 2go out but i guess we got lazy.. so we jez chyld at my crb n watchd lyk 3movies, n spent sum quality time wit the fam.. it was more than ai could ever ask for jez chyld wit the fam annnd b.. so relaxin. so while b was over.. we kept FEEDING him and FEEDING him lol.. thass all he ever does wen he comes over now.

sunday went 2church.. came home 2sum bullshit drama.. gayness yah, n the sad part was that i knew it was my fault they wurr fightin cuz it was my birthday n i jez had to hav a party.. but wutever.. No WuN wiLL eVeR HaVe tHe RiGhT 2MaKe mE fEeL iNfEriOr, uNLeSs THey HaVe mY cOnSeNt. thank u fo makn my day better austin, u didnt even kno it.. but u did... thankz fer ur presents b.. u deserve sum mind sex mwahaha.. yesyes, always fun. lol, for those of u that dont kno.. mind sex = intellectual conversation

DOODE!! this is s0o0oo freakn truuuu yo! pikd it up from adam's cuzzn.. D_RiO_RoCz_EM

"Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones cuz they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, THEY'RE aMaZiNg. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

peace out.. n RoCk tha fuq out......

u jez hurrd: "forget everything" +new found glory+

gO sHawTy..

iss yo BdAy!

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+_pArTtTaYyY whooo hooo.. made it 2the weekend ury1! yay.. n now iss tyme 2parrrtayyy hehe. sooo xcited, we gon snowball fight too yo.. mwahaha, rEvEnGe on JUJU!!! wahahaha hehe. updatez latuh yo.. DRIVE KURFULLY URY1!

ai luh alllllllll of u!!!!

my retarded lil sis n meh mwaha.. 143jay

peace out.. n RoCk tha fuq out......

u jez hurrd: "forget everything" +new found glory+

+ dis isnt aileen.. dis beeh her wun n onleh ading aLyssa:) hey pipol.. dunt u jus love the secksi banner i made for her.. she's jus so purdy aww.. heehe happy birthday awteh.. may u be stronger n  best wishes, hopefulyl u get all u want hehe.. before all you leave... dunt forget to give mah awteh her propz! aww snapz awteh iz s3v3nt33n stay secksi n b00tyful!! i wuv you lotz awteh  take care much mahalz god bless

_huGz n kiZz3z_ alyssa