uncensoredme's Xanga

A new way home

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:56:33 GMT

Ok real quick....one of my coworkers told me of a new way to get home from this new loacation i've been working afternoons at. the usual way home made me wait in a 10 min long line to get onto the freeway around the time i'm usually off work. So today I took a new way home, and omg i'm going to take this way home from now on! It kinda takes me in the opposite direction of where I want to be in order to get onto a much easier freeway onramp. But the drive is AMAZING, it makes me so happy to be a Californian! The road takes me right along the coast with postcard-esque views of La Jolla shores (thats the name of the beach) and past super rich beach neighborhoods, with homes i could only dream of buying if I won the lotto, lol, but it was so pretty. It was one of those moments where you think "my god im lucky to be here" and it was definately a nice way to end a full workday! I really like visuals, its very calming to me.

Anyway, I have also come to the realization that one of my ferrets, Paddington, is probably the most affectionate little thing EVER! He's just so adorable and won't leave me alone when he's out of the cage! Once i get hold of him all he wants is my attention and to be held and lick my face, I swear im like a drug or something to him! Sometimes I want to tell him "hey buddy, can you let me have some 'me' time" haha

Last push

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:27:57 GMT

Starting tomorrow (monday) I will be back in class. It's been a lovely spring break, very uneventful since I still worked mon-fri as usual, but much needed time for relaxing and spending time with my friends after work This is going to be an interesting couple months with me doing independent study for two courses since they werent offered in a reasonable time for me to continue and graduate. I'm going to meet my teacher at a local coffee place she picked out which is luckily nearby where I live, apparantly she lives in my general area! I'm sort of excited, she is a fun teacher and real laid back, I had her for my last class, nursing statistics. So we shall see how this class gets going, she and I will be discussing how to go about handling this class and the objectives.

Anyway, as my title for this entry suggests, this is like my last push until graduation. I will be on a continuous roll of classes from now on until the end of August when I complete the program! It's hard for me to get my mind around it, I've been working so long, with so many obstacles in my path, and now finally i will complete my undergraduate degree! It seems like there is still so much time ahead from now until august, but at the same time there is so much I need to get done, and so much is poised to happen until then! I have the remaining classes, my upcoming surgery, GRE prep/exam, and of course a social life mixed in there and a San Deigo summer ahead, and my parents keep asking when I will be able to visit them in nor cal, and I want to plan on visiting my twin brother in NY as a grad/bday present to myself in september, then apply to grad school! I'm not even going to talk about what there is at work, thats a whole nother adventure waiting to happen, lol. Things are definately moving along
So the next handful of months will be my last push, non-stop work to get closer to where I want to be.

Scared

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 02:09:20 GMT

So I had a bad dream of sorts the other night. Let me first off let it be known that sometime this summer I'm going to be having surgery to essentially realign my jaw. Yea, it's as bad as it sounds :-/ The problem is with my bite, or lack there of. My front teeth dont touch when I bite down, its called an open bite. What's going to happen is that my lower jaw is going to be broken and realigned, and my teeth will be wired shut for 6 WEEKS. Yup, thats right, a completely liquid diet for six weeks!
So back to my dream, it was about the surgery. Needless to say the dream did not depict a fun scene, just alot of pain, it was like I was being tortured! I've been seemingly calm about this upcoming surgery, kinda laughing it off, making plans for a "food week" where I'm going to pig out every day for a week before the surgery on whatever food I want....since I'll be very limited after the surgery for six weeks and am told I will more than likely loose about 10 to 15 pounds! My main issue is the fact that I am absolutely TERRIFIED to have this surgery. The chance of a bad reaction to anesthesia, the pain, the hunger, complications, it's going to be alot to deal with! I'm in such denial that it's actually going to happen, but it will, and I am going to freak out! I've never had surgery before, so this is going to be one hell of a first surgery to have!
Ok im going to stop now cause im freaking myself out more by confronting it with words! :-/

tomorrow

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 01:50:49 GMT

im going back to irvine for the weekend. Every time I go back there its a host of emotions. Its so bittersweet to be back visiting my UCI friends. At the some time however it really brings me back to some pretty hard days in my life, ones im trying to keep behind me. It's like visiting the site of some disaster, thats how it feels to me, its akward. Yet i keep putting myself thru this experience. sigh
I dont know why i try, i feel old going back and doing fraternity stuff when no one knows me anymore...all the guys i hung out with have all gone off their seperate ways. why do i try and hold on? and when can i just let it all go? or is that really possible?

future plans

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 13:40:17 GMT

the other day I went to an open house at USD for a masters program im very interested in. Kinda crazy that im already looking into applying for grad school.
Being there got me so excited at the possibility of attaining a masters degree. I'm even more motivated than ever to do my best. It was also in a way discouraging hearing about the tuition cost and admission rate into the program. none the less, the only way to know I won't get in is by not trying.
The program I'm interested in is an entry level masters of nursing program, which is extremely competitive. Basically this program is intended for those who have a bachelors in something other than nusing, it's a way to get into the nursing field while not having to go get another bachelors. The reason I am choosing this type of program is becase I have done so many years of undergraduate work that i cannot imagine doing more. I need more stimulation than that, and I realy would like an advanced degree. Secondly, and I don't mean to sound so arrogant, but i'm so much better than all those retards in my pre nursing classes, and I cant imagine being in the same level program as people like them. What I mean is that these people i have been taking classes with, who all want to go into a BSN program are not very smart, and a bunch of immature whiners who only want a spot in a career with high demand! Sadly most of thse people are over 30, with kids and families. As bad as it sounds I feel like im too smart to have to go back into another bachelors program. I have consistantly aced all my science classes, including microbiology and anatomy and physiology, and nothing is really challenging me, im just chugging through these courses with no real stimulation. I feel that this masters level couse will place with a group of peers that I can relate to more than those i'm in classes with now.
I have the grades to get in, and I have clinical experience with my job, and im going to work my ass off for the GRE. Only problem is, my UC irvine transcript will more than likely come back to haunt me. I left there with poor grades. I can only hope that during admissions the board wil recognize my turn around since leaving UCI, and see my GPA now, along with what I have done and let me interview for the program. I'm counting on this interview because I know I can articulate myself well and explain any questions they have about my intentions and my past. Its hard to guage a persons commitment to a profession with only writing. Lots of people are going to be applying because the money involved in this career, and its a shame that people will be admitted who are in it for a nice paycheck. It makes me angry knowing people will take up valuable room in this program away from those who are truely dedicated to the profesion. I see these people all the time, and i think to myself "wow, i would never want to have that person as a nurse"

starting this again

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 02:05:20 GMT

I think im going to start to write again. I sort of miss this thing. not that anyone knows my story, but in the very slight chance anyone has let me start by a extremely quick rundown of the last couple years, lol......Eric, the guy who was always mentioned in these posts is no longer in my life, i dont talk about that anymore, end of story. Ive been single ever since. I moved out of Irvine and moved here to San Diego, i live on my own here and took up a job at one of San Diego's largest health care providers, Scripps Clinic, and work in clinical reseach and im a phlebotomist. Also in school and graduating in a few months SOOOO excited about that! So thats my life in a nutshell. Life in SD has been amazing, i absolutely love it here and made some of the best friends I have ever come to known, esp my best friend Mikey, i've never had such amazing friends.

OK.....so i dont know whats been up with me lately, ive been in real bad moods and i dont know why :-/ even before the puppy incident yesterday *sigh* I even chewed out a friend, altho i dont know if he and i are friends anymore after that conversation. Although I guess I had the right to chew him out as he was saying some pretty means things in regards to my best friend Mikey, who i think he is jealous of cause mikey and i spend so much time together. Anyway, the issue is my moods and im not sure what i can do to compose myself. im typically a very easygoing and happy go lucky guy. i think it should be summer time so i can just go and love my life on the beach lol

crazy long time!

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 00:34:30 GMT

ummm, wow i cant belive this thing still exists!
Anyway, just needed somewhere to vent really and this thing popped in my mind!

So it's been forever since my last post. things have dramatically changed in my life. maybe ill update that later, right now im traumatized and need to write :-/

Today was shaping to be a typical day, and the weather finally has been easing up here in San Diego. Work was slow so I got to go home early and I was very relaxed because my work offers employees massages, so I got a massage right before I left to go home, so needless to say I was in a very relaxed mood. Didnt feel like hitting the gym because I was so relaxed and didnt want to get all fired up, so my best friend asked if I wanted to walk around balboa park, and since it was a nice day i agreed, i wanted to enjoy the weather as well.

Ok i'll just get to the bad part......we witnessed a puppy get run over and killed. I was extremely traumatized and am tearing up thinking about it. The sight of it happening, its owner screaming yelling crying and running around, it was terrible, absolutely terrible, and the car just kept on going!!! I can't blame the driver for hiting the poor thing, it was unavoidable, a quick jump into the street from the sidewalk as it walked with its owner towards the nearby dog park, nothing could have stopped it aside from the owner keeping a tighter leash. My heart and stomach just sank, i wanted to cry, i wanted to help, but there was nothing i could do. Im just so upset that the driver kept going, there was no way he or she didnt know they hit something! Im trying not to think of it, but the sound of it, the dog yelp and whine :-/ its lifless body on the pavement, sigh. im just a huge animal person, i absolutely love animals, especially dogs....they're just so innocent and pure. Anyway one of the guys i was walking around with had a camera and got a pic of the car and lisence plate. it wasnt a crime that the dog died there, but i dont know what or if the law says about hit and run of an animal like that. so our friend gave the distrough womans friends his info for retreival of the pic if they ever needed it.
Its weird because working in health care I see people come in with terminal illnesses and such. and i know one day i will more than likely witness a person die, esp when i get moved to an ER or ICU. I dont know how I will handle that situation, but i think seeing a poor innocent animal is completely different, i dunno.....

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 14:34:20 GMT

HOLY CRAP I haven't written in this damn thing in forever!!!

So last night my car was towed from my apartment stupid tow people....Ive been parking "illegally" since I dont have a precious parking sticker since only 2 are allowed per apartment and we have 4 cars here....finally caught me. I can't be too upset, I kinda set myself up for this, lol. its only $165 so once Eric gets his sexy ass outta bed we're gunna go get it.

On a seperate note....HAHAHAHA to Cheny and that guy he shot! :-p Serves u fuckers right!!! Whoever promotes killing animals for "fun" let this be a lesson to you. I have little to no sympathy for that lawyer who now probably has a fucked up face from being shot, not to mention a pellet in his heart. I wonder if he'd consider hunting once he recovers....bastard.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 19:55:11 GMT

Yesterday was a fun day, I went out with one of my coworkers and we went to South Coast and bought some new clothes, im very happy got 2 shirts, a pair of jeans, and a jacket from Express....and since I bought over $50 i got a free scarf/beenie, i gave the scarf to my friend but am keeping the beenie. I also got a shirt and wristband from American Eagle.....i've needed to buy new clothes for a long time now! I just love my new clothes, they're a bit different style than im used to but i think its time for a change

THEN after all that fun, me and Larry (my coworker) got into our new clothes, lol....and we went out to the UCI Bren events center for the Kelly Clarkson concert!!! I LOVE Kelly, and omg she was amazing! Trust me im not as gay as this sounds, haha! Her voice was amazing live, I was a little worried she wouldnt sound as good live but actually it was better! She even did a few songs completely acapella (sp?) and man that girl can sing! We also had really good seats, cause i bought the tickets within 30min of them goin on sale, lol.

Beofre the concert started and people were finding their seats these girls were asking the people working there for help to find their seats and it turned out that somehow they had the wrong tickets. They somehow unknowingly bought tickets for Kelly's show for tonight (not last night) which the guy told them was in Reno...and the girls were like "where's that?" hahahaha omg what dumb bitches. They were going to get kicked out, but somehow they came back and got seated in the VERY FRONT ROW, now how unfair is that?!?! I mean if ur dumb enough to buy tickets for a show thats not even in ur state, then u should suffer, or atleast be all the way in the back not front row! Oh well....Kelly's dad was also there in the audience she said It was such a good concert, i love Kelly!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 19:52:39 GMT

I need to keep up with this more often!

I have been officially on winter break since last tuesday, been lounging around alot and reading. Read the last two Harry Potter books in 6 days! Haha...yea I've had that much free time! Its nice tho, to have some time to relax.

Eric and I have been doing very well recently, which has put me in good spirits again The other night we went out to his company's holiday party/dinner at the Marriott, it was a lot of fun. I felt like it was a very good night for Eric and I, he introduced me to some people as his boyfriend, but i'm not sure if he just said that to make things easier or if he meant it....considering how we've been on a "break" for a few weeks now. We also ended up daning with eachother on the dance floor and kissed and cuddled in front of everyone....a part of me want to ask him if we're ok now and back as a couple, but I dont want to ruin the good times we've been having if he gets upset at me for wating to be back together again. At any rate, we're doing very well and I am sure things will be just fine.

I'm getting a new job too, at the same lab Eric works at, sooo excited. Everyone is telling me it sucks there, but honestly it's a step up from where I am now and I could definately use the lab experience. I've just been waiting for them to call me, I want to start as soon as possible so I can quit damn IN N OUT once and for all....im so over that damn place!