Wow. Ok, I had looked up a Rob Thomas song on youtube for something, and I had left that tab up. As I was starting to shut stuff down (it is late) I noticed a song as it was rotating thru previews that I hadn't heard of. So I clicked on it. Now Comes the Night. And, wow. It is powerful. I really think God speaks to us through some songs, even nonChristian ones. Its like all of a sudden I was flooded with all the feelings and emotions I have buried over the past 6 months. I'll admit it, I started crying and I still am holding back tears. Its just those small things. Oh God, why have I been pushing you away? I've allowed myself to bury everything, to push it all away. Where am I going? How do I get back? You are amazing God, I can only Love you and do your will. Help me to find it again, to be living the life YOU want me to live.

Edit: and the whole point of this... the video is down at the bottom of the page.

So I'm sitting in the school library and feeling very disinclined to do homework... (yes, I've gotten addicted to using "disinclined", bear with me...) I just got out of Psychology class where we were talking about psychological disorders (did you know there is a disorder for students to think they have one of the disorders their teacher is telling them? I know, crazy), and the criteria for diagnosis. And I was thinking about how they could kind of be applied to a serious Christian in relationship with society. Let me share my thoughts, and I wouldn't mind thoughts back

1. Atypical Behavior- Well we act different don't we? Or we are supposed to be acting different. Think about it, society has those actions that are considered acceptable and become social norms. Like having premarital sex, lying about some things, drugs, getting drunk, all those. We are atypical from that in that we aren't supposed to be doing that stuff.

2. Disturbing to others- Ok, so this one is more iffy, but you can still see it right? Why else would some christians be called freaks?

3. Harmful to self, others, or maladaptation- I'm going with maladaptation here. We stand firm in what we believe in, so does that mean we don't adapt? Yes, we can bend for some things, but we're definitely not going to back down about others, or at least we shouldn't.

4. Actions are rationally unjustifiable- This one is easy Why would you love someone who hurts you? Why would you act like a servant when you could be on top? Why would you forgive the unforgivable? The list goes on. According to society, none of those actions are really justifiable. We aren't getting anything back from them that they can see. Only from this "weird" belief that this is what God wants us to do and we'll "get a reward in heaven".

So. Do christians have a psychological disorder? Maybe... But I'd rather be classified with that and be right with God than be psychologically fine according to society. Kind of a funny comparison I guess. I dunno. At least I was paying attention in class enough to get that!!

Wow its been awhile. Oh well. Yeah, right now I'm starting to get sick so I'm wicked dizzy and I'm haveing a hard time focusing my eyes. Only took half a bottle of Dayquil at one go... Any way...

Yeah, so you have to be pretty sheltered to not realize that that presidential canidates are working over time right now. Sooo, a few weeks ago I changed my voter status. Yeah, I'm no longer registered as a republican, but as an independent. I don't want to be involved with all the useless politics of the political parties. An interesting suggestion was given to me. I could (for instance) switch to democrat and vote for Obama instead of Clinton for the primaries, then switch back to independent for the actual election. Its an interesting idea and if In had more time I would probably do that. But I'm not going to, too much effort.

Isn't it interesting how political it has all become? Alliances, double dealing, back stabbing, its all there. All in the name of democracy. I hate it. I've been tempted several times to start looking into politics and seeing what it would take to get myself elected and moving forward. Pushing as a person who doesn't care about the politics, but who will actually do what he says, and stand for certain thinngs even if its unpopular. Unfortuntaly thats kinda unrealistic these days. I might get a little ways, but not enough to really make a difference. Or maybe a little difference. I want someone there who would actually stand for what they say, would not get involved in all the politics. I'm torn between someone who would have christian ideals or someone who would take the constitution as it was meant to be, and to not twist it. Because that would have a lot of the christian ideals there itself. I'm interested to see who the presidential candidates will be at the end. Whether it is those who are more politically savvy, or those who really might be better. We'll see.