| His name is Evan.
I remember the moment I saw him.
The thing was, I didn't think much about it.
He was tall back then, but probably not as tall as he is now.
I remember looking at his neck and his blue sweater.
I counted the days he wore a certain sweater while I was bored in class.
During PE, I saw him jumping they way he does. He doesn't do a real jumping jack, nope.
But I don't remember when my feelings changed from "Oh, it's a classmate" to "Oh....."
Did I just wake up one day like that?
To be cont'd. I have homework to do still.
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| Why him.
Why him.
Why him.
I'm sorry.
I can't take it back.
I wonder how it will be when I look back on this.
What will I think?
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| i've got to change this layout.
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| It's that sad but comforting feeling of emptiness that fills me.
Morning light streaming through my window onto my messy desk.
An unorganized life.
But that's okay.
There's no homework for a long time.
Such is a student's vacation.
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| I think not being with him, or talking to him, or even seeing him is making me go nuts.
Everything I do makes me think of him.
I'm either very obsessed or it's serious.
....maybe not serious.
If it is serious, I may get hurt again.
Oh dear...
Sleeping in bed late in the morning made me think of when I first moved into my new house. At that time, I did have a bed frame and I slept on a matress on the floor. It didn't bother me...All the free time after summer school, the days when my dad was off at work and there was nothing to clean, the sun would wake me up exactly at 9 when the sun would shine through the curtain of my window and warm my blanket. Then I'd lie there for an hour, basking in the sun, content with life.
Now what?
I can't sleep because I have an urge to draw, and then when my arm starts to ache, I try to remember his voice. His face. The memories of him.
And everything comes back except the voice.
Like movies with no sound.
Enough to make me nearly burst in tears.
By that time, I'm so tired I just fall asleep. |
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