i still remember everything.
every mistake, every apology.

if i could shrink it down and put in your hands.
we made it hurt so much,  i can't forget the past.
just tell me what to say, show me what to do.
then i could forgive me and i could forgive you.

Someone screwed up about half past the night. Wish I'd been up I could've had a blast and then run. But I know now there's that one person everyone has that messed them up and they're still thinking about them, that one person you'll never get, no matter how long it's been.

Loving things like you has left me bruised, black and blue. Loving things like you has made me so confused. And I can't figure out what I've been waiting on, God I can't be living life for things I know are wrong

One of the worst feelings in the world is
having to doubt something you thought was unquestionable.

So what are you drinking, so what are you popping, so what are you popping, so what are you eating, so what are you dropping, so what are you smoking, so what are you sniffing, so how you coping?

I know you're tired of waking up on the floor. Pushed to the edge with nothing heavy to hold. Using your clothes as a blanket and a bed, holding your hands just to lay your head.

Emotion that is pure and true cannot be described,try as we might.
And once the emotions are gone,
they cannot be captured, ever.
But there are those who have tried.
And though they can never truly succeed,
their efforts are the masterpieces of this world.

i think im back.

Their words are flying over my head.
I try and hear, but I'm somewhere else again.
You laugh and I smile back to humor you.
If it's good for you, it's good for me too.

It's hard for me to explain, it's hard to explain, it's hard to understand all the fear and phobia that lays inside and traps this man when I'm surrounded, I wanna scream and kick down the walls, destroy what holds me. I wanna smash it all, we're neurotic, we've had it.

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways, my bad habits would be gone in a matter of days. I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes to a whole new world that had since been in disguise. Her mom calls her sunshine, because she always had a smile. Let me tell you something, I've seen your daughter in an alleyway, drunk and stoned. I still remember the day that sunshine got cloudy.

If you're looking for reasons not to love someone, you're probably going to find them. But sometimes, we need to give in and let our hearts get what they deserve. <----applys to me right now.

I was afraid of too many things, but dying to prove I was strong enough. To make my own way, to make it myself, to keep my head up, be the one who helps.

Because I don't know what I am doing now, and I won’t try to act like it because I sure don't know how. And I'll admit that I don't know, just where I'm going on this long and winding road that's taking me to what will be my home.

I wanna be an astronaut
And get high
Break the barrier of sound into the sky
Just wanna be free
From the confines of gravity

i closed my eyes and closed myself, and
closed my world and never opened up to
anything that could get me at all.
i had to close down everything.

I'm burnt out, burnt out on everything
repeating over again
burn out, burn out on everything
will this end?
I wanna be honest but I can't
I tell you that everything's all right
I'm lookng for time to find myself
with all of this madness in my life.

True love is something that comes easy
Just one kiss god I swear I want to
I heard a pin drop and a nervous heart beat
Have you ever herd me scream I love you
Do It For Me Now-Angels and Airwaves

You will never be prepared for
the moments that change your life.

On the rocks, staring at the ocean, not thinking, not speaking, simply being. The waves hypnotize me with their endless rhythm and the wind sighs of eternity and the gulls cry their mournful song. Grey skies, gentle waves and a peaceful mood able to soothe the angriest man.

What’s so simple in the moonlight, by the morning is so complicated.

"... This phrase was so much like what I often wrote in my diary. The idea of deserving love. And then watching love being given to people who did nothing to deserve it."

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken and I'd rather remember it as it was, at it's best, then mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

"When the truth is ugly, people try to keep it hidden, because they know if revealed, the damage it will do. So they conceal it within sturdy walls or they place it behind closed doors or they obscure it with clever disguises but truth, no matter how ugly, always emerges. And someone we care about always ends up getting hurt. And someone else will revel in their pain and that's the ugliest truth of all."

Every storm brings with it hope that somehow by morning, everything will be made clean again. And even the most troubling stains will have disappeared. Like the doubts over his innocence or the consequence of his mistake. Like the scars of his betrayal or the memory of his kiss. So we wait for the storm to pass hoping for the best even though we know in our hearts some stains are so indelible, nothing can wash them away.

What a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
Just walk away.
Ain't no use defending words that you'll never say.
& now that I'm sitting here thinkin' it through
I've never been anywhere as cold as you.

Tomorrow I'm taking all of your windows away so you can feel the wind through your hair.
So you can touch the sky again.

& instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast.
It's hard to make the good times last.
You realize the sun don't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.

It's been three years since I last saw that lonely smile,
& it'l be a thousand more till I can find a face I loved as much as yours.

Tolerance is total acceptance of others' uniqueness.
Open your eyes. Open your heart.

Raindrops bang like rocks on my windowpane.
I thought they'd never stop
Never see the sun again.
& I've been sleeping in
For way too long.

It's only right that you should play the way you feel it.
But listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness.
Like a heartbeat, it drives you mad.
In the stillness of remembering what you had
& what you lost.

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator,
But among those whom I love, I can:
All of them can make me laugh.
-- W.H. Auden

A creative individual is no longer seeking normalcy
As she has finally come to terms that it's okay to be comfortable with yourself
No matter the verdict of the snotty teenagers sitting all around her
They openly mock you for being different but you silently laugh at them for all being the same.

How did we have it all? How did we have everything we wanted and then even more? We had each other. But no, that didn't satisfy us. We're now strangers. No, not strangers. We have a past. We'll never be strangers.

The flames and smoke climbed out of every window and disappeared with everything that you held dear. But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need cause you knew you were finally free.

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thank you for the comments.

Well we could take off each other's clothes or be best friends in the middle of the road. Or we could just talk shit about tomorrow and how it never adds up. Well we could touch lips fore the hell of it, it's a nice day and we're just kids.

More than anything, I'm scared of letting down this front I have and laying my soul bare to the world. But when I think about you standing by my side, I wonder if it won't be so hard after all and I know it would be worth it.

There are good nights and there are hard rides. There are a million things to think about when you give up getting high. Limited sight came back to tired eyes and we watched the city lights fight brightly with their will to stay alive. Everything is gonna be alright.

Please don't believe in me. I don't want to let you down. And I'm convinced it only rains in New York and I'm surrounded by everything that really scares me, a room full of empty people regretting every time that they inhaled.

Beauty comes to those who have been waiting for something bigger than themselves. This is the sound of the hopeless kids, as they scream from the basements of the houses of their parents, and this is the sound of the hopeless ones as they stare at their books and realize they have been lied to.

I spent a week drinking the sunlight of winnetka, california where they understand the weight of human hearts see sorrow gets too heavy and joy it tends to hold you
with the fear that it eventually departs. and the truth is i’ve been dreaming of some tired tranquil place where the weather won’t get trapped inside my bones and if all these years of searching find one sympathetic face then it's there i'll plant these seeds and make my home.

i'm only as strong as my weakest excuse.

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updateee!

Well, I've been thinking about the phone lines and the street signs and they remind me every couple of miles that you're a hundred twisted miles of highway away from here. And I'm hating feeling farther from you. And I know that your heart feels that way too.

I'm gonna close my mouth now, you don't need more noise in your life. I miss you more  than you know, but I know time makes you move on.

I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself, so, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occured to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.

I've seen nights without sleep, days without daylight. These memories I keep, won't keep me warm at night. The coldest part is the heart that we share. It's breaking apart and you're not even here to say things will get better.

I swear to God the sun is laughing at me but I can't say for sure because I don't look straight at it. Hear me out. Those boys tell all the lies that roll right past you. "I don't wanna fuck you... I just want to hold you."

I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm not going to be okay. That maybe it's not going to work out in the end. Maybe that's giving up hope but maybe it's thinking logically. I've had too much time alone to think about this. But it's like I've had this time because I actually give a fuck about people. I have compassion. Apparently, I'm the only one. I never got the memo to give up on your best friends.

To have your things and wait there for a plane ride, no one there to sit and hold your hand in flight but everyone I know out here is lonely, even those that have someone to lie beside at night.

There are some people who make your laughs a little louder, your smiles a little brighter, your pain a little easier, and your life a whole lot better.

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