vietprincess80's Xanga

Don't Look @ Me - I'm Hideous!

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 19:53:06 GMT

Geesh, what a day I am having. It is a comedy of errors and I can only laugh about it now. Anyway, I decided to go get a cup o'coffee a couple of blocks away from where I work this morning. I'm not a coffee person but I wanted to get some since all the cool kids are doing it. As I was walking back strutting like a supa-model, the sole of my shoe started to slowly come off. I was three blocks away and I didn't know what to do. If I really was on the runway, then I would have to keep on walking. What to do?! If I fall down, I will never become "America's Next Top Model!"

The street wasn't that crowded but they could hear my shoe flap really hard. I would try to look at them and think "Clap if your horney!" Or I would try to look at another person and try to blame it on them, you know like when I pass gas or something. Then the sole of my shoe started to come off some more. I was really in for it now.

Then I remember there was a shoe repair place near my work and I was heading in the same direction. Then I had to start walking without trying to move my foot off the ground. I looked like Pamela Anderson after her sex video with Tommy Lee, stiff and unable to walk properly. People were staring at me. I just had to maintain no eye contact and act like nothing was wrong and just pray that no one would throw change at me like a crazy person.

Then I was like, "Oh geesh, I hope I have enough money after I bought this $6 cup of coffee." I would just have to improvise from there, but first, I need to get there with enough dignity. I get to the store and there is a line! I was thinking, "wow, I'm not alone. I'm in the company of my fellow hideous freaks." Yeah people were just picking up their shoes, no sympathy from them. I wanted to scream to them "I use to be you!!! You use to be me!!!"

When I lifted up my shoe, my whole sole fell off like Isaiah Washington's career. The nice gentleman said that it would take 15 minutes. I was like "please, just fix it. I'm hideous, don't look at me!!!" As I was waiting, there was a shoe shine area. Did people really get their shoe shined? Did they have the time for a shoe shine in this day and age? Yes, people still did get their shoe shined. I was waiting for the shoe shiner to call the guys getting their shoe shined "gov'ner!" I just thought that was interesting. Anyway, they fixed my shoe and I was back to normal.

Just got me to thinking about how we take the little things for granted. Then I realized, "that's nice" and strutted back to work as if nothing happened. Now I'm one of you now!!!

Please Use Birth Control

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 12:40:03 GMT

Have you ever been in a situation where you are using public transportation or waiting in line when a woman comes in having an aura of entitlement? No I'm not talking about Paris Hilton in a STD Clinic, I'm talking about pregnant women. For some odd reason, many feel that since they got knocked-up that they should be put in front of the line or someone should give up their seat for them. Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't get the corporate memo, please excuse the fact that the ticker-tape parade isn't here! Yeah, that's right I said it - now deal with it.

I understand that it is appropriate to move people with disabilities and senior's to the front of the line or have preferential seating (and when pregnant women who don't know their babies daddy to the front of the line at "The Maury Pauvich Show"). Also, other pregnant woman need this but I hate it when pregnant woman instantly come into a situation demanding it with their demeanor and body language. And when they don't get that seat or that place in line, they make noises of disgust and shake their head. Granted I have never been pregnant but I come from the school of thought that no one is entitled to anything - you have to earn that shit by asking nicely. Hell it wasn't my fault that you got drunk, made Xerox copies of your ass, had an orgy, and wore a wet t-shirt with the words "Easy Access" on it.

I make it a rule that if I see a pregnant woman in distress, like she has been trying to give birth all day, that I ask them if they would like my seat. Again they are not entitled to my seat, but I hate seeing people look like a mess - kind of like Britney Spears is now. Anyway, I usually get a "no, thank you" or a shocked look. Many would assume that a woman can't give up her seat to another woman. The thought of chivalry should be left up to the man is so arcane! I'm not delicate "like flower" that I can't perform this function. Hey maybe I just want to stand up so that hot guy can check out my ass and need an excuse.

But at times I get confused on who is pregnant and who is festively plump. I don't want to assume a fat person is pregnant, I have seen that happen and it ain't pretty - kind of like when Ann Coulter makes a public appearance.

I have talked to several pregnant women about this and many feel that they need to ask and not expect it. If it happens unexpectedly, well, what a pleasent surprise.

So my pregnant and former pregnant friends summed it up best when they gave me this parting advice, please use birth control.

I'm Back Beyotches!

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 16:17:10 GMT

Its been a long time since I have written in my Xanga blog with my observations of this crazy world. In my previous entry I had indicated that there were some individuals who thought it would be a awesome to stalk me. Never you mind that a normal person would think, "Gee, I read Caroline's MySpace page and she said she was into 'stalking.'" I don't recall putting "stalking" as any of my interests, hobbies, goals, cravings, nor gift lists. Thanks but no thanks, this is not how this Sheela rolls.

Since stalking is unavoidable thing for some people, I thought I would give some advice to the crazies out there. First, no woman should be stalked, it isn't charming. When we say we are not interested, that means one of the following:

A) Please go back to your parent's basement and revive your "Monkee's" Cover Band
B) You make me want to be gay (not that there is anything wrong with that)
C) Didn't I see you on "Dateline NBC's - To Catch A Predator?"
D) I will not be your Sam to your Frodo in your "Lord of the Rings" role playing game
E) "Crazies" is not the language of lovers

Thanks for all of your support for my Xanga blog. Expect more entries from me on all the things that piss me off!

Sorry.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 14:11:01 GMT

The reason why I haven't been writing in here anymore is that I've had "potential" stalkers on here tracking my whereabouts using this blog. It's kind of sad because I really enjoyed writing about my weekend escapades and reading your reactions to them.

Sorry, my friends.

Wow, Xanga is so different now!

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 09:33:34 GMT

Hello journal! It's been a while huh? Well, I just came home from the most greatest cocktail dinner party ever! I think there's a new movie called, "Friends with money" and even though I've never seen it, wow, I really appreciate knowing people who work hard and play hard!

I think I must've drank $200-300 worth of wine and champagne tonite! I think this is the most expensive buzz I've had in my life! LOL!@ Thank goodness I didn't make any drunk cell phone calls tonite LOL, yes, I'm guilty of that sometimes too! hahaha!

The house was located in Draper and it was humungous! Okay, California, you guys have your Beverly Hills, Brentwood and Bel Aire but we've got our Park City, Draper and Olympus Cove. You're more likely to see a Lamborghini or Ferrari driving around on the street in those cities than any other in Utah. So, now that you have the correct picture painted in your head, let me get back to the house. I think the guy said about 7-8000 sq ft! He even had a basketball court in his basement! I thought I just bought a nice house but mine is like a shack compared to this one! This was also the first party I went to where they had catered SUSHI!!!! Can you believe that?? There was actually a sushi chef there and he would make you ANYTHING you wanted!@ My goodness I was in HEAVEN!!! I asked if I could take him home with me but when I found out how much he costed, I decided, welll, maybe after I win the lottery! LOL!

Oh, I also found out that my fav sushi place just opened up a second location! It's somewhere in Fort Union and I heard it's huge and really nice!!! I can't wait to go try it out! I love sushi but their other location is so busy it sucks to have to wait 1 1/2 hrs just to get seated! Hopefully, the wait won't be as long at the new location.

I tried all kinds of delicious champagnes and cabernet sauvignons tonight! I don't mind drinking reds and merlots but whites and champagne go better w/sushi, IMHO. I wish I had my camera w/me so I could take pictures of this house but then I'd probably look like an idiot! Speaking of pictures, I need to update my picture on myspace but I need a nicer camera. I love my camera cuz it's small but my friend has a pro camera and it makes me look 10x hotter! I need to call him up and get a new picture, that current one is getting old! I wish myspace let us post more than 12 pix, I hate erasing the old ones cuz of the comments.

Ahhh well, it's springtime again and that means fancy cocktail parties and outdoor BBQ's under the stars! And the annual U of U med & law school party is coming up@!

Goodness, sometimes life feels so stressful but I can't really complain.

Shit! I think I'm going to get zits from this late night excursion. That photo session will have to wait.

Oh yea, the reason I haven't been writing in here much is because I need to be more careful about stalkers (had an incident recently that was pretty creepy) and I started my own group on myspace that takes up my free time. BTW, this is it (shameless plug for myself heheh):

http://groups.myspace.com/askcaroline

Okay, last thing. Yes, I think I met someone tonight, someone "interesting!" He's Chinese and his family is from HK. You know, sometimes, you can tell when people give you unsincere compliments but sometimes, someone says something to you and it's just strikes you. This is gonna sound so corny and stupid or maybe it's cuz I'm drunk, but I was really flattered when A said, "*********"

I was gonna repeat it but now I changed my mind. Sorry. It's going to have to stay secret.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 17:04:23 GMT

One of my guy friends, who I love like a brother and will call Phillip for the sake of this blog, went out last night for some dinner. We got to talking about vital social issues affecting our generation -- that being clothes. Talking about poverty in America and the energy crisis is boring! Anyway, Phillip dresses conservative, usually in a Lacoste polo shirt and khaki's. Anyway, he was telling me how it was suggested to him that he goes for a makeover and dress "slutty" for a change. "Huh, watcha talkin about Willis?"

Can guys dress "slutty?" I don't think its possible. There are so many stores and sections in department stores where they have the "Hoochi Mama" section. And you all know what I am talking about, those tight tshirts with sayings like "Easy Access" or "Do Me $5." But when you go to the guys section, there is no "Pimp Daddy" section.

I see some guys wear tight shirts. Is that suppose to be "slutty?" Then there are those guys who wear those daisy dukes or tank tops, but those guys are usually gay, not that there is anything wrong with that. Some gay guys are hott, but they don't go for chicks like me -- or chicks in general. Phillip and I were perplexed. How can a guy dress "slutty" and attact the opposite sex?

For me, a guy is sexy when: they are confident, smart, and likes to buy me stuff (looking like Keanu Reeves helps a lot). A guy is not sexy when: they are on parole, has a Barbie Doll collection, or wears a tight plumber's uniform with his butt crack exposed.

One of life's mysteries, I guess.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 03:00:45 GMT

I want to talk about one of my true loves of my life. What is it you may ask? Well, it is something that has raised me and has always been there for me in good times, bad times, and sometimes watches me have sex. It is my TV.

People always talk shit about not watching TV since they claim that it makes peoples mind atrophy and makes them "dumber." Whatever! These people probably watch a little too much day time television (i.e., Maury Pauvich and all of those commericials about getting your 'technical degree'). They decide to read books. Ugh! Reading those Danielle Steele novels ain't going to make you any smarter at the next Oprah Book Club meeting. I just tell them that I do not read, I am read to.

What is so bad about TV anyway? It does exactly what I tell it to do and it does it. Not like when I tell my dates to "BUY ME THINGS" and don't. Ugh!

I leave the TV at home and I don't have to pay a baby sitter to watch it.

I don't have to send my TV to a day-spa, all I have to do is wash it with some Windex and it is just fine.

When the TV gets a little loud, I just turn down the volume. Lets see you do that with your significant other!

And you never see support groups for people have issues with their televisions. If people do, then they just return it to the store and that is it. People can't do that at their AA meetings. In review, TV is magnificent - - - just so you know.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 16:48:04 GMT

I think I'm at a point in my life where I can depend on myself for my own happiness. I think that's why I haven't been really wanting to get into anything serious lately. However, I did meet this guy at one of the Halloween parties I went to. We're going out next w/e and this one gives me butterflies. I'm glad I can still feel butterflies for someone. It's been so long I thought I lost it. I can't let this affect the main focus of my life right now, which is ME!

Monday, October 31, 2005

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 02:02:08 GMT

Forced participation. That is a new phrase I would like to introduce and incorporate in office life. What is it you may ask? Well the only way I can explain this phenomenon is with a story.

At work I feel like I work with a bunch of yahoo's who like to celebrate everything at work so they don't have to do any actual "work." I understand that some people at my job, that is their career, and the only thing they have. But what I have to say to them is, "get a hobbie besides work, like licking stamps while listening to some makeout music like Sade."

Anyway, if there is any news good or bad someone in the office always says, "We should get them a present. I am collecting $5 each so cough it up." So this FORCED PARTICIPATION usually involves a single person using their sense of pride and morality to act like Sally Struthers hosting a telethon to support her doughnut binge to their colleagues. Usually, this person will be seen as the "hero" and will take all the credit. If a person says, "no" then they are seen as the "stingy one" or the "one who has 'beef' with the gift receiver."

In the span of one month, our office has bought flowers for someone's dead mother, a fruit basket for someone's partner who went in to see the doctor about some STD she got, a gift for someone who just became a parent, a gift for someone who stopped smoking, a gift for someone who had a birthday. ENOUGH! Do I look like gifts.com? God, I betcha people who work at Hallmark don't deal with this, they just have to give their grief stricken/elated with joy coworker a card that fell behind the copy machine and call it a day.

No one is ever asked, "would you like to contribute?" They always demand. So, finally I had it with forced participation. The thing that put me over the edge was when a coworker asked me if I wanted to buy some candy bars that she was selling for her demon seed. I gave her the 20 questions: are these candy bars going to support Sally Struthers? Are these candy bars going to support some racist group? Are these candy bars produced by children in 3rd world countries? Then, I asked her exactly where my money went and how much the distributor was going to pocket? She couldn't back up her shit and I told her she should stick to filing her nails than trying to sell. The truths hurts doesn't it?

I put up a sign in my cubicle that said, "No soliticitations!" Since this forced participation was getting out of hand I decided to go around and collect money for a gift for me for not being late in the morning. People did not donate. Then, I went and collected money for a gift for me for finishing my assignment. People did not donate. I finally went around to collect money for a gift for me because I did not give birth! Again, people did not donate.

Call me immature, but my coworkers got the hint. Luckily, I work in an office with a good sense of humor. If you want to celebrate then celebrate on your own terms. You go buy the present. If you want others to contribute, then ask. Ugh! People suck. Lets just say I won't be coughing out money anytime in the future. People at work have already put me down on their "do not call list."

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 09:35:02 GMT

urrrgh! insomnia again. i have to pee.

ok, i'm back. i haven't written anything funny in a looooong time! just been so busy w/life.

i loved crackin myself up w/them stories. i don't think my life is going to ease up anytime soon. *yawwwwwwn!*

one of my fears is becoming a boring person.

i just need to close my eyes and force myself to sleep, i'm going to be so tired tomorrow morning. i'm only gonna get 3hrs of sleep. bah!

oh, i just heard some wonderfully stupid news this morning. one of my friends is getting married. and they've been dating for only 1-2mos. no, they didn't have any history of friendship before this and they're not even mormon. let's just say that i see stupid people and they are my friends.

the thing is, even if you do click w/someone that well and you both know that you want to spend the rest of your life w/each other, why not wait and take some REAL time to get to know each other since you're gonna end up married anyway. what difference would a piece of paper make?

some people might say that, well, if they run into problems, they'll be more likely to try to solve them since they are married. it's easier to bail out when problems arise if you are just dating and don't have that level of commitment.

to that, i say, bullshit.

that just simply means that your "commitment" to them is bound by a piece of paper, not by love. if you truly loved each other, you would work thru problems whether or not you were bound by the sanctity of marriage.