| :/ I'm so mad at myself....how do I let go of something??? HOW!? I have so much anger in me right now...and it's so late and I have to wake up at 8:30...I feel so lonely right now....I wish something could change in me so bad right now...and I'm not saying all this just to be dramatic...I just feel a big part of me so dead right now...and I can't stop crying....I feel like one of those babies who hits themselves so hard accidentally and you see their eyes water up but the scream/cry doesn't come out until like 30 seconds later...I hate feeling this way...and there's no one I know who could have the same pain I have right now for the same reasons...no one :( I need a hug so bad...
|
| |
| ok....Let's say you are trying to change for the better and to become a stronger person. Sooo, something is realllly bothering you inside your head but, remember you are trying to be strong, so you keep it inside because you want to be mature about the situation. Unfortunately, as the days pass it builds up inside you until you even start taking it out on people you love. Then...kaazaaaam, you explode one day. Howww do you keep something inside without hurting yourself? So I'll be honest...I haven't been doing so well in O.Chem and it's been bugging the hell out of me!!!! I have trouble concentrating on other things and I haven't been able to keep it cool for a long time...it might not seem like it but has anyone who's around me noticed I don't go out so much anymore? What I'm trying to change about me is the way I'm so open to the world...like if I have a problem I'll tell anyone just to feel better...but I don't like doing that all the time unless it's something that really needs to be talked about. I've noticed that every time there is something wrong with me I have to say it...but sometimes I don't want to ruin the fun moments with negative talk that is really not that important. How do you keep yourself from blurting out all your problems and still feel comfortable inside??????
Anyways, so today I had a long conversation with my big sister and I cried my eyes out...:/...she is a trueeeeee believer in God...the reason I say true has to do with the way she expresses herself about him and how she lives her life according to him and how he is her TOP priority in life...she told me that once I can put him on top of everything in my life, everything will fall into place perfectluy...But truthfully I am so scared of religion...:(...I feel like it's going to change everything I am...i don't like to think that way but then I start wondering....Has that every happened to you?
|
| |
|   " style=" border-width: 0px;" alt="" />
HAHAHAHAH...he/she |
| |
| I secretly have two heroes. I'll never tell. |
| |
