This is how my Valentines Day started off:

for Valentines day i want cupid to actually make someone fall in love with me
for once instead of everyone around me..i get tired when i look around &
everyone has their loved ones near them & i get so lonely when they get
cards & candy..i just want someone to love me on Valentines day..

& thanks to one very special boy, ended up like this:

You're simply amazing..I've never had
anyone like you in my life the way you
make me smile is just unbelievable

I woke up in a bitter mood. just bitter. not really angry. not sad. BITTER. which in my opinion is the worst thing to quite possibly feel. I've never actually hated Valentines Day & didn't know why this one was different. But it was. Very different. I got ready for work. Got to work. Was in a bad mood. My customers could tell too. Tips were awful cause guys had already spent so much money on their valentines. But i didnt get that b/c i didnt have a valentine. no one had even officially said happy valentines day to me. noone. not even my brother.

well i worked from 11AM-10PM straight. the only thing that seemed was going to make my day better was that my parents came into my work & brought me this beautiful bouquette of flowers. OMG they were amazing & gorgeous. They told me happy Vday & gave me a hug. I seriously wanted to cry.. and almost did. As bad as my day had been (for some reason i dont even know) it was worst than i had made it out to be. So ya that made me smile sooo big. But then it was back to work for like 5 more hours.

But one boy turned it around. He was determined to make my day better. The only boy who seemed to really care. So after we got off we went to walmart & got a movie, candles, candies, a blanket, wine glasses, & sparkling cider champagne. He was going to take me to the park so we could sit under the stars which was adorable. Well it was too cold at the park so we went to his apartment & set the stuff up in his room & watched the movie.

Now can anyone say they had such a spontaneous valentines day which went from awful to perfect like that? Prolly not. That's why I love this boy.

So BRENT-- i want you to know that i adore you more than anyone else I know. You mean sooo much to me & I don't know what I would do without you in my life. Some of my friends don't get why we are so close when we can be so... mean (but playful) to each other. B/c at the end of the day you are always there for me. At the end of a bad day you can make me decide the world isn't half that bad. You're the only guy who's ever really loved me for me & never tried to change me. You take me faults & all (even the fact that I make that weird noise!) I love you to death boy don't you EVER forget that!

So on another note: This update is about love, boys, & just heart warming/breaking things. In honor of Valentines of course since I never got a chance to update yesterday.

Dear Boy # 1,

Of course you're number one. You & I were never really close up until recently. & I don't know how we couldn't have lived without each other in our lives. You are amzing. You are handsome. You are one of my very best friends. I love you dearly.

Dear Boy # 2,

You meant the world to me at one point in my life. I loved you dearly. And still do but we have fallen so far. You helped shape me into the girl I am today & will never forget you.

Dear Boy # 3, You were always there for me. Night, day, night, day. EVERYTIME I ever needed you. I'm sorry I pushed you away b/c you really cared for me but I wasn't ready for a commitment when we were together. Who knows, maybe someday we'll reunite.

Dear Boy # 4,

You were so much fun. We were so much fun. But that's all we were was fun. We could have never lasted but it's ok b/c I really needed you in my life at the time. Sometimes I miss how much fun we had. But I will never forget you & our first kiss.... my first kiss...

Dear Boy # 5,

You like me. I thought I liked you. I'm sorry I am such a dissapointment. I ruin relationships, you deserve better than me, plus we're so different. It would never have worked.

Dear Boy # 6,

Wow.... I don't know what it is about you. You drive me nuts. You are sooo dorky & soooo adorable at the same time. Some day you will make a great father. A great husband. I keep going back to you & don't even know you. You are an inspiration in my life. I really wish we could have a chance together.

Ok that's that. Enough boys. & I have been single for over a year now. No relationships & for about 11 of those months I didn't want one. Didn't want to deal with the heartbreak, the moodiness, etc. But now that I have finally been ok with being without a relationship I am missing it. And for a while I thought that I did want a relationship so bad that anyone would do. But now I notice I can't settle for ok. I want great. So I'll wait til that special person comes into my life. I'm tired of chasing boys. They will have to come to me. & I know they won't ever forget me.

I am obsessed with movies lately. Especially romantic comedies. I LOOOOOOVE Just Like Heaven. It's amazing. How to Deal is precious. A Walk to Remember. that's a sweet one. Must Love Dogs. Serendipity. Elizabethtown. the list goes on. But I have to remember that love isn't like in the movies so I can't get my hopes up b/c things like that don't ever happen. But it's fun to think that they could. Just don't get upset when they don't.

P.S. This summer I want to go on a road trip with Chase again. Just me & chase & the open road. My family is going on a camping trip for 2 weeks. & going to Orlando for a week. I think I might go with my friend Jordan to a church camp kinda thing. This summer will be eventful & fun.

As of now here are some lovely quotes & icons. I gotta head to class. *MUAH*

Dont fall for the guy who tells you he loves you..
believe the guy that proves it to you

Don't find love ;; let it find you. because
that's why it's called falling .. you don't mean to
you just do.

Sure girls want diamonds

but they would rather have

a boyfreind who says

their as pretty as diamonds <33

          love is kind. it                               does not envy,
      it does not boast, it                     is not proud. it is not
    rude, it is not self-seeking,       it is not easily angered, it
   keeps  no records of wrong.   love does not delight  in evil
  but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trust,
  always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails. when i
    was a child , i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i
      reasoned like a child. when i became a woman, i put
           childish  ways behind  me . now we see but  a
             poor reflection, as in a mirror; then we shall
                 see face to face.  now i  know in  part;
                   then i shall know fully, even as i am
                         fully known . and now  these
                             three remain; faith, hope
                                  and love . but  the
                                      greatest   of
                                          these  is
                                             love.

XOXO Kenzi