vintage_romance_xx's Xanga

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 16:40:03 GMT

there's just one piece of advice i can give you, it's this - when there's something you really want, fight for it, don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems. and when you've lost hope, ask yourself if 10 years from now, you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot. because the best things in life, they don't come free.

i LOOOOOOOVE this picture of me & Coop(er)!

ok people--

it is finally time for an update. shocking i know! i've just been so busy with classes, work, fashion board, friends, family, church, etc etc.

so work has been hectic. i am doing really well. my tips have been pretty badass. we've gotten a lot of new people. & lost a lot of people. but either way i pretty much like the staff right now. plus i am gaining seniority. which is very nice. brent and i played jedi's last night since it was really slow. i HEART lightsabers.

then he and i went to his apartment and watched King Kong with some new friends of ours. I love when you get new friends. They're all mysterious and NEW. lol

Anyways, school has been... well school. i am clueless as of what it is i want to do with my life anymore. no idea. majorless. confused. sad. lol anyways, any ideas??

boys are.... well there really aren't any right now. i dont like anyone. thats sad to say. I DONT LIKE ANYONE.... i want to like someone though. but there is noone. and no liking. and that also makes me sad. but oh well you live you learn you get over sill things.

oh & congrats to me. i got assistant pledge trainer!!! yeah. i get to work with kayla who is the head trainer right now. but come spring '07 i will be in charge!

anyways, life is good right now. yes confusing and very tiring but good nonetheless.

The following show is amazing. i HEART gilmore girls.

Crazyfriends©Crazytimes
years of friendship & nothing to doubt
      endless memories; too many to count
                laughter, lies &stupid fights. they're my
                        best friends. my heart. my LIFE

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 17:10:33 GMT

life is like photography;
we use the negatives to develop

romance is the glamour
that turns the dust of everyday life
into a ; glittery haze <3

Hey loves! Ok so its been a while yes.

Work has been good. I have been making a lot of tips! Today I got two compliments. One table said "I was the most wonderful waitress they had ever had." & another said "I deserved a tip and did an outstanding job." yeah plus one of those tables left me a $10 tip.

So classes are boring me. But I still have to go. I havn't decided what I want to do with my life yet. I was an art major, thinking about going into pharmaceutical sales, & now I think I want to go into design. I don't know what kind of design... maybe architecture, maybe textile, maybe... i dont know. CONFUSED!!!

So um ya, there is a new boy in the picture. Well 2 actually. Nothing serious or even remotely close to being anything of importance. But they are both cute, & they were both sweet & funny. But ya, I still don't know about either of them. Oh & I have a new internet boyfriend hahaha so me & austin decided that we were going to be internet boyfriend/girlfriend. haha omg i love it! hahaha he's a hottie!

Hmm so Fashion Board has kept me busy with chapter, Meals on Wheels Mardi Gras & things this weekend. We have formal this weekend. Vegas Vacation is the theme. I have to decide on a formal dress to wear. I figure I'll just go through one of ten of my old prom dresses. It will be fabulous.

Ok well intermurals started back. I loooove them so much! It's 4 on 4 football. Our team is kickass! Yeah for team FB!

Well, I get to go back to work for my night shift. then there's the FUN party tonight. So bye loves I'll leave you with some pictures!

another pic of the pledge party.

this is one of my all time favorite pictures! omg i'm in love with it. oh & thats Coop! (Cooper)

I HEART this picture sooo much! Oh & that boy too.

Me & my hottttt friend David! We're in love!

David, Me, & Joel!!!

This is picture is sooooo badass! We rock that song! This is from our trip to dallas... later i'll add this funny video we have of us singing. You'll love it!

*MUAH* bye sweethearts!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 01:10:20 GMT

AHHHH i had a long ass entry but since XANGA is the GAYEST THING EVER!!!! it erased it! BITCHES!

ok heres some pics real fast i had on there.

Here is me & my love (not to mention best guy friend everrrrrr) ontop of the Lubbock grain tower. oh yes we are just that badass! i <3 him soo much!

I look so weird in this pic only b/c it is not the original size. this is me austin & lucas on new years eve... we had fun lets say we look like we are GONE! haha prolly cause we were! this is in dallas!

Pledge Party Spring '06. Here are me & some of the other FB actives & some of our new pledges. I know how to throw a badass party.. we even got the cops called on us we were so loud! but since we are all gorgeous he let us slide with a warning.

This is one of my favorite pictures ever! Me, Steph, & Jenna. YOU & I COLLIDE!!! hahaha love those girls. on the way to pledge retreat fall '05

Fashion Board Presentation '06.

From left to right: Me, Shaye Anne (my FB big sis), Alison (my twin sis, & steph's big), & steph (my nephew?? & alisons lil) i loooove these hotties so much!

Ok well since xanga has to be sooo dumb i guess I'll end with that oh & a side note that i am soooo excited that me & brent are taking our road trip on thursday & friday!

Bye Loves! *MUAH*

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 15:10:16 GMT

This is how my Valentines Day started off:

for Valentines day i want cupid to actually make someone fall in love with me
for once instead of everyone around me..i get tired when i look around &
everyone has their loved ones near them & i get so lonely when they get
cards & candy..i just want someone to love me on Valentines day..

& thanks to one very special boy, ended up like this:

You're simply amazing..I've never had
anyone like you in my life the way you
make me smile is just unbelievable

I woke up in a bitter mood. just bitter. not really angry. not sad. BITTER. which in my opinion is the worst thing to quite possibly feel. I've never actually hated Valentines Day & didn't know why this one was different. But it was. Very different. I got ready for work. Got to work. Was in a bad mood. My customers could tell too. Tips were awful cause guys had already spent so much money on their valentines. But i didnt get that b/c i didnt have a valentine. no one had even officially said happy valentines day to me. noone. not even my brother.

well i worked from 11AM-10PM straight. the only thing that seemed was going to make my day better was that my parents came into my work & brought me this beautiful bouquette of flowers. OMG they were amazing & gorgeous. They told me happy Vday & gave me a hug. I seriously wanted to cry.. and almost did. As bad as my day had been (for some reason i dont even know) it was worst than i had made it out to be. So ya that made me smile sooo big. But then it was back to work for like 5 more hours.

But one boy turned it around. He was determined to make my day better. The only boy who seemed to really care. So after we got off we went to walmart & got a movie, candles, candies, a blanket, wine glasses, & sparkling cider champagne. He was going to take me to the park so we could sit under the stars which was adorable. Well it was too cold at the park so we went to his apartment & set the stuff up in his room & watched the movie.

Now can anyone say they had such a spontaneous valentines day which went from awful to perfect like that? Prolly not. That's why I love this boy.

So BRENT-- i want you to know that i adore you more than anyone else I know. You mean sooo much to me & I don't know what I would do without you in my life. Some of my friends don't get why we are so close when we can be so... mean (but playful) to each other. B/c at the end of the day you are always there for me. At the end of a bad day you can make me decide the world isn't half that bad. You're the only guy who's ever really loved me for me & never tried to change me. You take me faults & all (even the fact that I make that weird noise!) I love you to death boy don't you EVER forget that!

So on another note: This update is about love, boys, & just heart warming/breaking things. In honor of Valentines of course since I never got a chance to update yesterday.

Dear Boy # 1,

Of course you're number one. You & I were never really close up until recently. & I don't know how we couldn't have lived without each other in our lives. You are amzing. You are handsome. You are one of my very best friends. I love you dearly.

Dear Boy # 2,

You meant the world to me at one point in my life. I loved you dearly. And still do but we have fallen so far. You helped shape me into the girl I am today & will never forget you.

Dear Boy # 3, You were always there for me. Night, day, night, day. EVERYTIME I ever needed you. I'm sorry I pushed you away b/c you really cared for me but I wasn't ready for a commitment when we were together. Who knows, maybe someday we'll reunite.

Dear Boy # 4,

You were so much fun. We were so much fun. But that's all we were was fun. We could have never lasted but it's ok b/c I really needed you in my life at the time. Sometimes I miss how much fun we had. But I will never forget you & our first kiss.... my first kiss...

Dear Boy # 5,

You like me. I thought I liked you. I'm sorry I am such a dissapointment. I ruin relationships, you deserve better than me, plus we're so different. It would never have worked.

Dear Boy # 6,

Wow.... I don't know what it is about you. You drive me nuts. You are sooo dorky & soooo adorable at the same time. Some day you will make a great father. A great husband. I keep going back to you & don't even know you. You are an inspiration in my life. I really wish we could have a chance together.

Ok that's that. Enough boys. & I have been single for over a year now. No relationships & for about 11 of those months I didn't want one. Didn't want to deal with the heartbreak, the moodiness, etc. But now that I have finally been ok with being without a relationship I am missing it. And for a while I thought that I did want a relationship so bad that anyone would do. But now I notice I can't settle for ok. I want great. So I'll wait til that special person comes into my life. I'm tired of chasing boys. They will have to come to me. & I know they won't ever forget me.

I am obsessed with movies lately. Especially romantic comedies. I LOOOOOOVE Just Like Heaven. It's amazing. How to Deal is precious. A Walk to Remember. that's a sweet one. Must Love Dogs. Serendipity. Elizabethtown. the list goes on. But I have to remember that love isn't like in the movies so I can't get my hopes up b/c things like that don't ever happen. But it's fun to think that they could. Just don't get upset when they don't.

P.S. This summer I want to go on a road trip with Chase again. Just me & chase & the open road. My family is going on a camping trip for 2 weeks. & going to Orlando for a week. I think I might go with my friend Jordan to a church camp kinda thing. This summer will be eventful & fun.

As of now here are some lovely quotes & icons. I gotta head to class. *MUAH*

Dont fall for the guy who tells you he loves you..
believe the guy that proves it to you

Don't find love ;; let it find you. because
that's why it's called falling .. you don't mean to
you just do.

Sure girls want diamonds

but they would rather have

a boyfreind who says

their as pretty as diamonds <33

          love is kind. it                               does not envy,
      it does not boast, it                     is not proud. it is not
    rude, it is not self-seeking,       it is not easily angered, it
   keeps no records of wrong.   love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trust,
always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails. when i
    was a child , i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i
      reasoned like a child. when i became a woman, i put
           childish ways behind me . now we see but a
             poor reflection, as in a mirror; then we shall
                 see face to face. now i know in part;
                   then i shall know fully, even as i am
                         fully known . and now these
                             three remain; faith, hope
                                  and love . but the
                                      greatest   of
                                          these is
                                             love.

XOXO Kenzi

Monday, February 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 12:57:56 GMT

JUST B E YOURSELF
Because no one else is as great as you<3

Let's be wild & young
Let's be worthless & dumb
Let's break all the rules
Let's be rebellious
LET'S BE IN LOVE

ok boys & girls it's been entirely too long.

eSo there has been a lot going on. Work's been good. The few times I got to work last week since I got sick but I'm better now. Went out with some friends this weekend. Hit up an Abercrombie party with Chase & John. Then went with some friends from work to a party. Then Fashion Board's presentation was saturday night. Ya I am pretty sure it was really nice. We all looked soooo HOTT in our red dresses. And now I am an official active in FB. YEAH After that went to Lisa's with Jordan Allison Chase John Lisa & Brent. That was interesting. lol

Last night I went to church & then CHILL. Ya I'm pretty sure we sat with Nate who is... adorable. Gosh, so dorky. So cute. Then I went to brents with him chase & rachel. We watched Desperate Housewives & Grey's Anatomy... omg i cried in GA. It was soooo good. Then we went to see Final Destination 3. OMG that movie is soooooo graphic. But it was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Really good actually. Ok well today I am celebrating VDAY with the family. Then baking cookies with brent for work tomorrow.

I get to make up my mythology test tomorrow & I'm pretty sure our professor is wayyyyy cute. He's a grad student. Lovely. Good start to a vday haha. I am prolly working tomorrow night which is fine since I'm dateless lol. But whatever. Anyways, this is a full week but my daddy needs his computer back (since I stole it at the hospital) lol. OK well bye loves!

Being yourself
makes you look
absolutely ... gorgeous

Monday, January 30, 2006

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 18:26:30 GMT

It's been tooo long since I've last updated! I've been working a shitload or in classes. But mostly working.

So Fashion Board had rush & bid day. We gained about 9 girls? Give or take a few. I havnt had a chance to meet a lot of them. But the few I have I just think are adorable. I am really excited about this semester but it is going to take up so much time I don't know what to do! lol

This past weekend I went out for the first time in FOREVER! It has been like a month cause I work on the weekends all the time. It was nice to go out, but I think I'll stick to staying in for a while. Things get a little too crazy plus I am dropping a lot of my old habits & so staying in keeps me safe & keeps me controlable. For reals, about a month ago I was COMPLETELY lost.. I was in a rut with the worst habits I could have. But I broke free of that & life just seems so much easier now.

I missed church on sunday which makes me really sad b/c I looooove being there. I feel so alive!

& I worked all weekend & it sucked. On Friday & Saturday the printer in the kitchen was broken so it just screwed up all our orders. And then last night just sucked b/c there were only 3 of us on waitstaff and we were busy and the retaurant was soooo dirty! But hopefully this week will be better.

This week is sooo busy.
Today i am off work but am going to a movie with friends which i am excited about!
Tomorrow- class then work, then i dunno i have a bunch of homework i should do
Wednesday- class til 430 then business chapter for FB
Thursday- class then i work a double, but i cant work at night cause we have a fundraiser so i have to get off for the dinner shift, then the fundraiser, then im staying at my parents house to watch my little brother and take him to school the next day.
Friday- Brother to school then class til noon & i have a test in government then I work that night then I am going to a FB spa/ Valentines party/sleepover.
Saturday I work all day.
Sunday- church then work.

GAW! i didnt realize how busy i was until just now lol. omg and then boys....

She's got a list of things she wants to change
about herself; because ever since she met
you she's a mess of insecurities.

There is this guy I'm talking to and like.. but since my last relationship left me with a huge scar i'm afraid of getting serious with anyone. plus i dont have TIME! i barely have time to breathe.... we'll see how things work out. I am just not ready to settle down right now. plus its a bad sign when i am already pusing him away before we have even gotten together.... i am a mess & dont need a guy to make things even worst.

i MAY N0T AlWAYS SH0W iT
BUT KN0W THAT i CARE
&N0 MATTER WHAT
WHENEVER Y0U NEED ME
i Will AlWAYS BE THERE

And I have finally decided to change my major. Yes I know, I am good with art, I love art, but I can't get a job in the art field.... I need to make sure my future is going to be stable. And its kinda sad that I'm giving up my passion.... but passion only gets you so far in life.... again, we'll see what happens. I could always minor in art. And i dont know what my major is going to be yet, like i know i want to go into either equiptment or pharmaceutical sales. be a drug rep or something.

gosh i am just sooooo confused right now with life in general. between that boy, other boys, past boys, working all the time, fashion board, and switching majors.... i just want to like.... not deal with any of it. but i have to.

"You are what you love, not what loves you"
-Adaptation (WOW- that quote is so powerful and so true!)

plus- i havnt eaten like a real meal in like 5 days, like i snack every once in a while but i dont ever have time to eat cause i am working during the dinner or lunch shifts or in class on mondays & wednesdays from 10-430 straight. And i dont ever eat breakfast. So i am losing weight supposedly. Everyone is asking if i have lost weight bc i supposedly look thinner. I am happy but it isnt healthy. Plus my adderall makes me not hungry. So YEAH this spring break i am going to look hotttt!!

Anyways, I am glad I updated I needed to get all that out!!! For reals! (PLus i should prolly stop saying that lol)

But wish me luck with my test on Friday! Love ya guys! OH && COMMENTS MAKE ME ACTUALLY WANT TO UPDATE! SO leave them!!!

I look at you & want to tell you,
but I'm scared that if I do, it will ruin what we have

Me & david practicing for our new years kiss. i love that boy! such a hottie & a GREAT kisser! lol

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 04:18:27 GMT

Dance with me in the dark, kiss me softly in the rain, and if you don't think it's gonna last, we can just start this song again.

ok i have had a good weekend... i mean i am pretty much classified as a workaholic though.

i worked thursday 430-11, friday 430-1130, & saturday 430-1145... & i work the same shift tonight. lol

although i enjoy my job & my coworkers a lot! especially some select ones. of course there is brent... rachel... shayla... cassidy... jay... mike.... michelle... the whole lot of them.... gosh i have never had a better job. it is a lot of fucking work. like none other.. the customers bitch, the kitchen messes up, but in the end... it is well worth the trouble.

plus i get little crushes on the most random guys... not that its really a crush or anything.. just a liking for random guys lol

anyways, church in the AM..... gotta go see the youth minister.

::MUAH::

Friday, January 20, 2006

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 04:48:18 GMT

I want a guy that will make me happy.
Someone that will make me smile when I hear his voice.
Someone that will love me unconditionally.
I want someone that will have my friends say to
one another
"shes finally happy again"
<3

Hey guys. I was going to make a long neat entry, but tonight ended up ending on a bad note thanks to 2 certain boys. I don't know why I even let it get to me. I know they don't mean to be assholes but sometimes it just keeps building up & just pushes me over the edge... again.

So for now, life is good and i'm a happy person I just need to spend less time with these certain people. Maybe I need new friends... maybe I need a new lifestyle... i dunno but i am getting tired of whats this life. ...

....b/c if i don't... i know i'm going to become a very depressed bitchy girl like always happens..

plus, i dont know what to do. i like these 3 guys. all of them are sweet and nice and totally all different from the other. I don't really like have a huge thing for any of them... well except for one.. but the whole youth minister thing is just dragging on lol. But for the other 2 i could easily live without them in my life. I dunno, boys are not a priority right now. I need to get my shit together. And whats up with all the boy stalkers online now days. I mean seriously... creepy.

Anyways, i'm off to bed. i promise i'll make a better.. HAPPIER... update later. night!

p.s. i'm going on a diet... a diet that consists of not eating... thanks bitches!

Life is like an hourglass
sooner or later everything hits the bottom
you just gotta be patient &wait for someone
to turn it around

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Sun, 15 Jan 2006 07:30:26 GMT

My Loves--

What have you all been up to? My life has been pretty hectic lately. But I guess I can fork over a couple minutes to update.

So this last week we started back @ Tech. Wednesday to be exact. I pretty much like all my classes so far & the people in them. I luckily know someone in every class I have. I think this is going to be a really good semester. A HUGE difference from the fall. I totally screwed up all my classes. This is the semester I feel a HUGE change coming on. I really wanna do good in my classes now.

We also had our first chapter back for Fashion Board. YEAH. I looove those girlies! So much is coming up this semester with that. Spring rush (which i am not going to be a pledge again.. yeah), big/lil, pledge retreat, valentines spa day, mother/daughter weekend, presentaion, etc etc etc. I am sooo excited!

Oh & I have been working my A$$ off. But yes as ass is spelt out with dollar signs lol.. i am making a lot of money. I pretty much was making about $10 an hour last night at Casa. And with minimum wage being $5.15 I think I have it pretty good lol

Also, we are still looking into cruises for spring break. I dont know if it will ever happen though

& today, someone just pushed me over the line. i had like a nervous breakdown earlier after i got off work. i am learning to forgive, but still, i need to let more emotion out on a daily basis cause it all just gets stored up in me til that ONE person just PUSHES THE LINE.

& so i got over the AF guy after a couple days of nothing going on, then i was reminded of him... so we'll see where that goes. I can either date him or not. No biggie. But I still kinda favor one of those options lol. oh & tomorrow i am going to church for the first time in a while (since we were out of town before new years and didnt come back til not too long ago) Ya, i am actually looking forward to seeing the infamous youth minister again. The one i use to be head over heels crazy about.

oh tonight me brenee and steph went to kristi's party. there were a bunch of people there.... some of my faves just happened to be jessica lisa kristi amy greg justin his friend etc etc etc. it was quite funny. me jessica justin his friend and steph were pretty much judging every person and every thing that walked into that room. I felt so... MEAN GIRLS lol. i love it.

Anyways, it is effing 630am & i think i might just take a 30 min power nap cause i gotta get up for church at like 7. Anyways, have a great rest of the weekend. Especially since we don't have class on monday. Yeah for nationally recognized holidays. Night loves.

I will leave you with some quotes I loooove:::

life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,
it`s about learning to dance in the rain.<33

never let someone become your priority while you remain their option

No matter how strange and bizarre you are, there will ALWAYS be someone who loves you for it

you don't realize how strong someone is until you see them in their weakest moment.

You don't get to choose, you just fall in love. And you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know that you love them so much except sometimes they just drive you completely insane. And no one can explain it. And the reason it's so confusing is because it's love. But, if love didn't have challenges, what would be the point?

&& I wanna be the girl that you see, and dead stop in the middle of a conversation just to look at me<3

It takes a disaster to learn a lesson.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 01:52:01 GMT

Boys & Girls!

My loves, it has been a while. I am back to updating... pinky promise. Lots has gone on...

So here is a short post about everything that's going on.

Dallas was a blast. All of it. New Years Eve was a blast. We went to some club & shopped shopped shopped. I love being on trips with my brother. We are such fun people lol.

Anyways, we are trying to find a cruise for Spring Break. YEAH

Oh & I finally saw that guy who likes me... so cute! like i am really happy, he's a doll. lol. He reminds me of Seth Cohen from the OC. Gosh I hope he thinks I'm cute... anyways he's been saying little things to chase that are just sooooo dorky, yet very adorable. Here's a few examples:

1. "Does she like scrawny guys or buff guys, cause I'm not really that built."

2. "Does she like serious guys or funny ones, cause if she likes serious guys I'm really going to have to work on that."

3. "What if she's disappointed when she sees me. I mean she's prolly just seen my brother and think I look like him and everyone thinks he's hot..... i hope she's not disappointed"

4. (this is when he found out i was going into AF yesterday)

Chase- ya shes coming in today so youve gotta be on your best behavior. She could be in here right now...

Him- omg! i'm going to go to the back and fix my hair

haha for reals... i might just have one for myself too.

hahahaha omg sooooo adorable. i laugh everytime i think about that last one. gosh i wanna see where this goes lol & he broke up with his girlfriend. yeah.

Oh & out of nowhere our youth minister went to lunch with my family (i wasnt there though) and he asked about me... like where i was and stuff.... he's thinking of me? WHAT?!?!?! gosh right when i start to like another guy lol

Life is soooooo crude like that lol

But anyways, I am taking donuts to John tomorrow at the Fitch cause he will sposedly be there. hopefully... maybe this time i'll actually get the balls to introduce myself lol

Ok well love, nothing else is important lol, & i'm tired.. so i'm off to watch me some will & grace. Night my dears!!!

P.S. I am in a quote kinda mood so here's a couple....

you know what i want . just once
i want to be someones reason for
waking up someones reason for
going through another day , just `
one time i want to be the one
being wished for. the one who '
makes a guy say im so lucky to .
have her , to put it simply ; i want
to mean to somebody what they
m e a n to me <3

i wonder what it is about you
that makes me try so hard

& it's those days you wish you had a boyfriend, to
cuddle with. hold hands. kiss. tell him everything.
or, just by looking at him and knowing you mean the
world to him and he loves you with all his heart. It’s
those days you have to wish for a fantasy to become
reality. i just want to be loved by someone.<|3

&& i'll give you my heart..
if you pinky promise not to hurt it <3

Someone asked me,
" why do you like him so much? "
but before i could even reply my
best friend put her hand over my mouth,
and said "don't even get her started".

the hardest thing in this world is to find someone
who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes
- but still loves everything about you.