friend:
–noun

1.	a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.	a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

3.	a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

4.	a member of the same nation, party, etc.

5.	(initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

–verb (used with object)

6.	Rare. to befriend.

—Idiom

7.	make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend to

day 2 as an antisocial loner freako. i hate it.

Sorry that I ever loved you, Sorry that I cared,
Sorry that we've taken for granted the love we shared;
Sorry for the waiting, Sorry to waste your time,
Sorry if I’m not worth it, you don't have to be mine;
Sorry for mistaking something I thought was true,
Sorry if you don't understand why I do what I do;
Sorry for my feelings as if they're not enough,
Sorry if we can't work through all this stuff;
Sorry if I’m cramping your lifestyle or getting in your way,
Sorry if I don't say the things you want me to say;
Sorry if I don't measure up to what you want me to be,
Sorry I can't be enough to make you just want me;
Sorry for apologizing, but I don't know what else to do,
Sorry if my dreams only consist of me and you;
Sorry I ever met you, Sorry I’m not enough for you,
I’m Sorry I love you the way I do.

♥janice<33 :D

i hate ystd. i hate the way i felt so out of sync. i hate it that i'm treated like a sub. i hate the way you say "love ya<33" in msgs and leave me wondering whether you really mean it. i hate the way you treat me like i'm yr best friend and get ALL my hopes up thinking that maybe you really mean it this time, but when others come, you leave me alone. i hate the way whenevr you see something like this you talk to other people and say "why's she like that? why's she angry? i nvr did anything bad to her" you make yrself look blameless. like you've been the perfect friend, but when i look closely at it, it seems as though you want the popularity. and when you feel upset because of friend problems you come to me and rant and end of with "aiyah, i'll go pray about it lah". then leave me alone again when they're ohkaye with you. i can't stand it when you say "omg, why's she acting like that? and she says she gna cry. does she know how much she caused me to cry because of her?" and i'm listening and thinking "what about you? do you know how much i cry thinking about this kinda shit?" i hate it when i go to my table to do work. undone homework frm the day before. and you just leave with yr entourage and i'm alone. making me an antisocial loner. i hate it man. i don't get all this crap. you never were this way. you were super nice last yr. come this yr, i'm just a tag-along accessory that you need when you have no one. you say "talk to me fr whatevr kay" and when i ask if yr pissed with me fr some reason you just go "no" and resume whatevr. if yr with yt other friends, i'm immediately forgotten. i hate that you know. you say you'll be left out and forgotten and i'll feel super un-leftout. but you know what. i feel more left out than ever. i can't stand it. and you know when olivia's grps naphthelene testtube melted and she couldn't breathe. i highly wished it was me and that i'd just die so that i don't have to go through this shit anymore. and the worst part? i got it for 2years.

urghh. hate it. ♥janice<3 she let me rant like crazy and even made me laugh when i was at my lowest. the _ thing didn't help one bit and just gave me more of a headache. i tried to sleep it off. an advice a once-gd-friend-now-just-friend gave me. it didn't work. (i'm just quoting kay. no bad feelings) i feel even worse. i don't know how i'm gna go through this anymore. i just wna transfer school. or class. or just die. am i considered depressed? i wonder why life's sucha bitch. why it's me that has to go through this kinda crap. why i have to take this crap frm them. when elizabeth(sp?) prayed for me&belly during grp discussion, the line "give them gd friends they can rely on" hit me so hard, i almost started crying. i told myself not to. control my emotions. and i did. i don't know what to do. i feel like just.. URGH.

im gg out now. i hope i'll feel better):

[edit]
i had an almost normal time. until those 2 sms-es. i my heart just fell when i read them. i didn't wna reply or do anything because it'll prolly start a fight. and i don't wanna fight. i just want things to go back to the way they were in sec2. i do get annoyed when _ and _ leave me out and stuff but it's really little because i know it won't really be for long. i did ask mich to help me photocopy the timetable and class relay&she didn't. just like you. so i didn't pursue it. cos i couldn't care less anymore. this is prolly gna errupt into some huge scandal in class and the rest won't talk to me or whatevr. i just want 2s back. urghh. or you know what, make that i want my friends back.

i realised that people sometimes are really really superficial and materialistic(not slamming anyone here). but i mean, think about it. everyone's just saying "oh in the holidays, i need to work. then i can get some $$ to go spree-ing (whereevr)." i admit, i was like that at one point of my life. now i'm just cutting back. retail therapy-ing whenevr i really need it. you see people comparing things like "oh i got the new chanel bag." and "oh really. mine's the new fendi." or whatevr crap. and i dno how this just came up but i feel really disgusted by that. (quote)"i only have $600 to revamp my wardrobe. omg. how can i revamp my wardrobe with just $600?!" (unquote) [simply rmbering]. i read that and my 1st reaction. 'what the hell'. i mean srsly. i can have a major wardrobe revamp with that man. i don't need mng, edc, fcuk or whatevr to get a nice wardrobe. f21 is kinda a must. but then again. WHAT THE HELL.

i'm gna take tmr to think over everything and talk to people(aka BodyGuard aka ♥janice<3) about it. i don't really wna talk about it and i'm just gna be so effing lonerfied on monday. right now, i need some naphthelene and extremely hot water. ):
[/edit]

♥YAY

NO AMATH.

FREEPERIOD(:

HAHAAH.

CAPS-ING IS FUNNN

lol. hokaye. anahoos. i'm listening to woshinidetiankong♥ now(:  nicey songgg(: hehe. tdy was pretty ok. amath, math, chem. i got 24 for chem test!!! :D:D HAHA. I BEAT YOU RACHEL NG LIJIA(: haha. then had recess. i wanted to buy post-its cos they're cheaper than science pads to copy stuff down. but i couldn't find any at the bookshop. D: then i followed trish to the p.e department to give her letter to mrs kwan. i gave up my precious studying time hokay. imma nice friend RIGHT TRISH? haha(: then had bio. we had like halfanhour to study then had the test. i think i screwed it. poop. wth lah. shit happened. :/ then had lit. i'm gna sound like a brat here but whatevr. i told them to go to the comp lab, but they decided to wait for teacher, so i waited too&10mins to the end of the period, we were told to go to the comp lab by rebekah. wtpoop. then i nearly lost temper again. hurr. whoops. people thought that chinese was amath. then confirmed that we had chinese. haha. that's why i'm HEREEE(: lol. i'm supposed to be studying geog. ohwell, i gotta studyyyy

goodbyeeee

♥♥♥♥♥♥

OHKAYE HOKAYE

I'M BETTER!

LESS STRESS!

 ♥s to amy, shu ai, sam, sarah, becca, rae, jay, bodyguard!, debz, jill&belly for letting me rant&stress out on(sort of :D) hehe. manymanymany ♥s! haha. i like the heart(: ♥♥♥♥♥ hehe. so pretty(: hokaye anahoos.

my new grp for youth is pretty fun(: no doubt i will miss my old grp (aka amy, debz, jill, becca, sarah, bodyguard, annika, edna, chinwae(sp?), rachel&amanda) but this new grpping was quite funn. shu ai's my leader(: josiah's the assistant leader. i have belly&gillian&edna with me(: sab's in the grp too. &so is jj, nj(unofficially)&uhh... so shu ai tells me amos&benson. soo yupp hokaye. we had some random nametag making thingy&played concentration. damnnnnn funny lahh. (: &i'm usherr i/c :D my grp issss.. belly, tiffany(: , dom h. , ehmm. oops, i forget. oh that reminds me, i gotta remind them that they're ushering this fri(:

church was hokay. i'm getting better at ekids(or so alvin says), but i still feel rather awkward&nervous for some reason even though i'm only random enthu-ing to a bunch of kids aged 3-12. heh. (: ballet was better i guess. my ankles still aren't strong enough to go on pointe like a foot at a time. DAMMIT. soooo annoying. but my stretching is soooooo much better(: oh joy(:

monday was ok. nth much happened. zaki's was SUPERDUPER scarehh. we hadda go in grpss. mine issssss me, mei bin, esther, colette&this sec one girl i didn't ask for her name haha. lol. we hadda dance&i screwed up mann. ANNOYANCE.

tues had lit test. zomg lah. i screwed it, like totally. the 1st ques minimun was 1 page. i wrote half a page. 2nd ques min. was 2pages. i wrote 1&a half&didn't finish it. 1st ques too. dammit. then had amath popquiz. stewpid. didn't finish last question. dammitttttttt.

tdy was pretty normal. amath test was hokay. but i think i made careless mistakes. then had lit. zomg. sometimes, i LOVE lit! we watched tooms tdy. super freaky! it's SOOOO much better than squeeze(part 1) haha. damn scary. the last part was the mutant(tooms, actually a guy.) went back to hibernation after eating the last liver extracted(he murdered the person)&mulder&scully found out the place which became a shopping centre. mulder went underneath the escalator to toom's hiding place(the cellar of the old building) thennnnn(FREAKY PART)! a hand popped out&tooms jumped out&tried to murder mulder. mulder managed to get out first&started the escalator. then the escalator kinda dragged tooms along&killed him. i swear, i screamed so much, i got a sorethroaght. clb was boring shizzle. we did si han. stewpid. i found out that bitching about girls ain't good if yr bitching to a male with overactive hormones&too much testosterone. :/

i realised that everymorning, when my busuncle goes to pick up people, most off the places are holding a funeral for someone. soooo scary lah. thinking of myself being locked in a box 6feet underground. :/

I LOVE CHEENA SONGS NOW(: I'M GNA BE SUPER CHEENA FRM NOW ON(:

hokay. goodbye

♥