TOP TEN TUESDAYS

Top Ten Signs that Global Warming is Serious

10.  Land prices soar in the coastal city of Philadelphia. 

9.  In fear that future generation will not understand the juxtaposition of their original title, Guns N Roses front man – Axl Rose decides to rerecord their hit rock epic as “December Rain.”

8.  Tank tops are latest fad among women in Siberia. 

7.  Islamic nations permit Muslim women to expose faces, arms to the elbows, and legs up to mid-calf in public.  Iranian population alone increases 7-fold.

6.  Ale-pops take up 40% of the world’s alcohol market share.  Cerveza Mas Frio.  

5.  Hip Hop Artists soup up their Escalades with 3 high-powered AC systems in the trunk.  Got Chillz?  BALLER!

4.  Altoids becomes a multi-billion dollar corporation by convincing the world that super-strong mints are necessary for survival. 

3.  7-11 invests millions of dollars developing a new slurpee – NITROGEN CHERRY EXPLOSION. 

2.  Humans adapt to increasing water levels through evolution by developing into a new species.  Homo- Amphibius. 

1.  Living among the shadows of his teammates for so long, finally Iceman emerges as the greatest X-Man of all time. 

what would you add?

Top Ten Tuesdays

TOP TEN TUESDAYS

Top Ten Current TV Characters

10. Dwight Schrute - (on The Office; played by Rainn Wilson) with quotes such as "The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me... for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies," how can you resist?

9. Tim Riggins - (on Friday Night Lights: played by Taylor Kitsch) sometimes a supporting character at best, but perhaps the most complex and definitely the most badass.  One of his golden moments shows him threatening to "punch a hole through the chest and tear out his heart" to a 7-year-old bully when he gangs up on smaller 7-yr old Bo. 

8. Peter Petrelli - (on Heroes: play by Milo Ventimiglia) some of you will argue that you like Hiro better.  c'mon, Peter has EVERYONE'S POWERS!  plus, how did he get his scar?  will he be able to showdown with Silar? EXCITING!

7. Benjamin Linus - (on LOST: played by Michael Emerson) what? he's not Henry Gale? what? he is the leader of the others?  WHAT?!  he came with the original DHARMA Initiative? ok... no more spoilers, but everytime something is uncovered about the island, it's usually Ben who seems to know.  also, is it me or does Emerson kinda look like Kevin Spacey after a heroin addiction? 

6. Gregory House - (on House: played by Hugh Laurie) House is probably my favorite jackass on TV.  snobby, manipulative, and childish - i love it. 

5. Titus Pullo - (on Rome: played by Ray Stevenson) ok, Rome is not really a "current" show, but I had to eliminate Brian "the Smash" Williams and Jack Doneghy from the list - love em both tho.  The great thing about Pullo is that you really don't like him in the beginning of the series, but eventually he will become your favorite character.  if Pullo were born in 1990, he would be Tim Riggins. 

4. Dean Winchester - (on Supernatural: played by Jensen Ackles) a tough guy joker who hunts malevolent supernatual beings.  how can you not love someone who " full on Swaze'd that mother."

3. Dexter Morgan - (on Dexter: played by Michael C Hall) - forensic scientist, loving brother, and sociopathic vigilante killer.  one of the best scenes.

2. Kenneth Parcell - (on 30 Rock: played by Jack McBrayer) - to be honest, 30 Rock has the best cast in television right now.  Jack D, Lemon, Tracy - love em.  but there's something about Kenneth that I'm almost certain no other actor could pull off.  his clueless hillbilly puritan cheerleader attitude is something never seen before.  truly a breakthrough.

1. Ari Gold - (on Entourage: played by Jeremy Pivens) - i'll let him do the talking. 

 who would you add? 

TOP TEN TUESDAYS

Top Ten Things Girls do Better

10. Avoid Accusations of Being Gay - girls can do anything without compromising their feminity... unless you're a female German Olympic swimmer - they're scary. 

9. Dress - girls have a much more natural sense of fashion.  us guys wear t-shirts and jeans and call it a wardrobe.  a spring wardrobe?  i have a windbreaker. 

8. Daily Hygeine - why do guys smell so bad? 

7. Haggle - Chinese and Korean ahjummas have black belts in haggling - they are masters. 

6. Not Dying - women live 5 years longer on avg

5. Dance - In general, most girls are pretty decent dancers.  some guys however, should never EVER explore their groove. 

4. Cross Legs - girls make it look so easy.  us guys actually have to practice to avoid injury. 

3. Communicate - i believe that girls are better at this, but I think guys win in terms of brevity.  burping and hand gestures are languages to us. 

2. Tests - studies show that girls are better at timed tests. 

1. Detecting "Noonchi" - for you non-Korean speakers, noonchi is a combination of tact and inference.  most guys suffer from noonchi deficiency.  the epitome of this deficiency is this man. 

what would you add?

TOP TEN TUESDAYS

Top Ten Things that Don't Make Sense (a few contributions made by xteethx)

10. Caffeine Free Diet Coke - Just drink water and add sweet n low. 

9. Segways - besides looking like a tard cart... actually, i don't really need another reason.  oh yeah, it costs 3k. 

8. Prozac for Dogs - If your dog is mental, there is only one cure.   It starts a "D" and ends with "EATH".

7. Mild Hot Sauce - surely another perversion by the white man. 

6. Cashmere Socks - I had a pair once.  They lasted 2 weeks. 

5. Cherry Flavored Beer/Alcohol Free Beer - They are abominations of something meant to be good and pure. 

4. Tiffany's Baby Accessories - I guess this is why the silver spoon expression exists... or more specifically, the Sterling Silver Teething Rattle.  

3. Diamond Rings - Even De Beers concedes to how ridiculous the price of diamonds is. 

2. Expensive Quartz Watches - The reason why a Rolex or a Panerai is priced as such is because of its movement.  Okay, you pay for the brand as well, but even a LONGINES or an ORIS runs on standard ETA movements at about a third of the price.  But to pay the same price for quartz TAG or a quartz OMEGA is like buying a Benz with Pontiac guts. 

1. Soft Porn - As a disclaimer, Porn is not my thing.  But come one.  Do crack addicts ask for Crack Lite? 

what would you add?