walkingenglishgenerator's Xanga

And another one's gone and another one's gone...

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:34:25 GMT

... another one bites the dust..

My friend Liz joined the "engaged club" this week. I am positively thrilled for her. He's a wonderful guy and he'll treat her like a queen. I was talking to Rachel on the phone about it tonight, and she asked me a question. A question I was kind of expecting, considering there are few people in the world who know me as well as she does. Well, the messier stuff, anyway.

She asked me, "I know that you're happy for Liz, but honestly, how are you REALLY feeling about it?" How am I feeling about being the one gal in our group of friends dating, but not engaged / married. Because I think it really is just me now. *goes through mental list* Yep, just me (wait, I'm wrong. Sorry, Jaybee).

Jimmy and I have been together for almost a year. Most of my friends have gotten married/engaged within a year of starting to date, and there's been the talk, but none of the action. Funnily enough, that's not the thing that bothers me the most. I know that I'm not really ready yet, having the emotional depth of a teaspoon myself, I'm probably not ready to selflessly pledge myself to another human being for life.

The thing that made me wonder the most is the amount of well-wishers who congratulated Liz, saying "I've been praying for this!" "I've been wanting this to happen for so long!" "You deserve this!" Etc, etc. And not because I don't feel the same, or that she doesn't deserve it; she absolutely does. But I can't help but wonder how many of my friends will feel the same when / if I get engaged. I'm involved with a non-Christian, albeit a non-Christian who accepts and respects my beliefs enough to drag MY tired, lazy butt to church when I don't feel like going, who loves getting to know my friends, my pastor, my fellow church-folk, and who is willing to do just about anything to make me smile, including helping me clean the house before the arrival of my women's small group. We've been together for almost a year and no one's asking, "So, when's it gonna happen??" Is it weird that something like this is on my mind?

Fun at the car show

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:31:14 GMT

Pictures to follow when my camera battery has been replaced

We have determined that there are four different types of female car show visitors:

A: The actual avid car show fanatics, the ones who can rattle off makes, models and stats on sight alone. Recognizable by little-known facts such as: "Did you know that they only made this one for about six months back in the sixties? Wait, is that a STUDEBAKER over there??" (Maggie, I'm looking at YOU!)

B: The females with "car interest". We drool, we fondle, but we don't master in the art of. This would be my category. Recognizable by the phrase, "Mmm.. sleek lines.. curves... colors.. pretty.."

C: The gals who tag along after their SO's to show moral support. Recognizable by the oft-repeated "Yes, dear. That IS nice, dear."

D: The girls you look at and nod, thinking, "Extras in the next Fast & Furious sequel." Recognizable by tall, teetering heels and an extra bit of swagger as they walk by the car owners.

Another one bites the dust

Sun, 25 May 2008 05:03:10 GMT

B and his 17 tattoos got married today. I wasn't in attendance, even though I dutifully filled out my RSVP card.

Instead, I spent a leisurely day with the boyfriend at the Dieppe Farmer's Market, eating dry rubbed ribs for breakfast (I kept licking my lips for 20 minutes afterward), drinking coffee and yard saling. I found most of the furniture I'll be needing now that Rach is gone and Jules is soon to follow.

After spending many hours at the library, we settled in with a pint of Reese's peanut butter ice cream and Half Nelson, which was much better than I thought it would be. It was one of those wonderfully unplanned mornings/afternoons that make you realize how comfortable you really are with someone.

Funny... I still remember hanging out at Passage with B one day. He was fixated on this gorgeous fountain. His eyes full of awe, he said, "Sandra, let's get married and decorate our house with all kinds of stuff like this." No regrets or anything; I'm older, wiser and know now that B and I would have ended up HATING each other. But it's funny how much time, energy and feeling you find yourself investing in emotional entanglements that just kind of melt away like Krazy glue on construction paper (don't believe me? Try it).

For the longest time (probably up until my second stint in the Land of the Morning Calm) I was convinced that someday I would trade up and become Mrs. B. And then it was just done. It frustrates me sometimes to think of all the productive things I could have been doing during that time. I could have been learning more languages. I could have been perfecting my molasses cookie recipe. I could have been building Canada's answer to the Sistine Chapel.

Or something fairly similar.

"Okay, now we do the manly bonding.."

Sat, 17 May 2008 04:52:47 GMT

The definition of amusement: Playing hostess to an ex-boyfriend of some past significance... with your current boyfriend, who is going a little overboard in his attempts to "mark his territory."

The definition of awkward: Sitting with both of these gentlemen at a very small table in an "intimate" coffee shop ("intimate" in this sentence meaning "Way too frickin' small!") as both of these gentlemen are grinning at me, waiting for me to make conversation. Which I do. Giggly, nervous conversation that borders on verbal diarrhea.

The definition of terror: Suggesting that these same two gentlemen and myself go and play a few games of billiards.. and then realizing in the car that this entails many pointy sticks and at least fifteen blunt objects will be directly within reach.

The definition of relief: After hitting said blunt objects around with the aforementioned pointy sticks, noticing that things are a little less tense, and the two gentlemen mentioned before are now talking politely and even plotting the beginnings of a barfight with other patrons.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mon, 12 May 2008 21:21:30 GMT

Why is it that I'm more inclined to blog when there's nothing going on in my life than when there are many things going on in my life that I can actually write about?

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 01:21:41 GMT

Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by
You never get to stop and open your eyes
One day you're waiting for the sky to fall
The next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This fragrant skin -- this hair like lace
Spirits open to the thrust of grace
Never a breath you can afford to waste
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime --
But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight --
Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight
When you're lovers in a dangerous time

- Bruce Cockburn/Barenaked Ladies

Answer the Pepperoni

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 16:01:14 GMT

DEAN: Their eating habits are just the start of what you're gonna have to get used to. There's tons of stuff you should be aware of.

MAX: Really?

DEAN: Oh yeah. Like, don't ever use the last of the parmesan cheese. And never get into a heavy discussion late at night 'cause that's when they're at their crankiest. Oh, and uh, go with their bits.

MAX: Their bits?

DEAN: Yeah, like, if you're eating pizza with them and Lorelai decides that the pepperoni is angry at the mushrooms because the mushrooms have an attitude and then she holds up a pepperoni and the pepperoni asks for your opinion...don't just laugh. Answer the pepperoni.

MAX: Answer the pepperoni.

Yes, there is a reason why I'm posting the above quote I love Sunday mornings with my roommate Julie. Especially sugared-up hyper mornings after coffee and chocolate banana pancakes. We tend to come up with our own bits out of the blue. This morning's bits included the Delissio Funky Box Ditty and the Candy Cam.

Julie (after I had suggested picking up a pepperoni pizza at Sobey's): I'm not crazy about frozen pizza. It just doesn't taste the same. Something to do with the crust. And they're too stingy with the toppings.

Sandra: I tried this really great pizza, it was loaded wth pepperoni, and the crust was all thick and yummy with stuff sprinkled on it.

Julie (ears pricked up): Oooh! And what pizza is this?

Sandra (scratching head): Delissio-something in a funky box.

Julie: Delissio funky box! (Commences snap-dance)

Sandra: I got to get me some! (joins in snap dance, arms circling overhead)

etc etc etc..

Five minutes later, having exhausted all lyric possibilities

Julie: I love that you go along with my crazy ideas!

Sandra (solemnly nods head): Answer the pepperoni.

Julie: ???

Music to have your first fight to:

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:10:21 GMT

Stabilo - Flawed Design

Peter Gabriel - I Grieve

Depeche Mode - I want it all

Sarah McLachlan - World on Fire

Nirvana - Lake of Fire

One Republic - Apologize

Johnny Cash - Hurt

Evanescence - My Last Breath

Jeff Healey - While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Sarah Brightman - Deliver Me

Confession is good for the soul

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:44:33 GMT

I take part in a monthly book club with a few really cool girls that I know. Every month we alternate between a book and a "lazy girl's selection", usually a magazine article, short story, etc. Mandi's "lazy girl" choice was a website entitled PostSecret.com. It's quickly become one of my guilty pleasures. That along with:

Hello Kitty (duh)

Depeche Mode 1990's Electronica

and Self Magazine.

PostSecret.com gets people to send in a personalized, decorated postcard with something personal written on it that they've never before shared with anyone.

Some of them are amusing, some of them are sad

Some are just cute.

So what are some of your guilty pleasures? I won't tell

Ye Olden Dayes :)

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 22:08:42 GMT