Had dinner with PYC, JW, and WY last night, missed spending time just chilling with bro/sis.  Had one blessed prayer time with Jesus this morning throughout my entire drive to work.  Blessed be the Lord.  It is good to be praying again after months of low/no prayer diet.  That's why I tend to ask others to pray at meal times.  My acl knee is doing better by the day, just itching to play handball, really itching with the weather being so beautiful.  Work slowly coming along since I am actually going to work.  Still worried about me bro, praying for his eye and his relationship to Jesus.  Chinese people in China can be so messed up at times.  Long story there, call me if you wanna hear me go on and on about it.  All in all, life's a challenge and I am trying to take it one step at a time (literally with my injured knee) haha.

Being carried - Footprints

Life is quite a confounding animal.  I always thought that I had it all figured out before a fateful Wednesday night in the January of 2000.  Since then, all my theories of life have slowly been disproven.  Being an arrogant, obnoxious male had found me a firm believer of mind over matter, at least my mind over anything that matters. 

That's this Chinese phrase "words of promise (teeth something) is spent like gold"  That's something I have tried to hold to as a motto in life.  It's kinda like "don't say shit - ya don't mean" mixed with "if ya say so, ya better make so happen".  As of lately, I find myself wishing for the ability to make these statements true.  It was so easy when it was just showing off in front of classmates ot beating somebody in a game of ball. 

Being out of college and working, life has its ups and downs, having bling-bling to spend is a good one, while attempting to act as robotic task machine is a down one.  Responsibility here, things to do there, and duty to hang yourself with.  Sometimes it feels like I am doing things cause I am supposed to, or told to, or should be responsible enough to know.

I'm been so tired lately that even complaining of it gets me tired.  Oh man, how I wish that I had something that I can look forward in my very near future.

Out of the blue, I felt like writing something that is depressing and I compose the following "Tango of Emotions" to fit my current mood.  Skip it if you don't wanna get depressed, cause I have more to say afterwards.

"Life is such a strange entity while humans are such lost beings.  Past mistakes can weigh down any bubbles of joy while one dwells on guilt.  Uncontrollable laughter comes and goes like the wind as one is reminded of all those happy, silly things one has experienced.  Tears well up in dry eyes whenever one feels the starting pangs of hopelessness.  Stubborn courage fights against impossible odds as long as one has something to hold dearly to.  While the whirlwind of emotions tango to the salsa within my mind, how much time has passed???  A minute, an hour, or a day???  If one is lucky, ignorance carries one through the whirlwind with hardly a scratch to acknowledge the journey.  And those who called themselves wise had scars deep enough to cut off all senses to a point when they are numb.  And for those who are still caught in the whirlwind, their only prayer is either for ignorance or an experience so horrifying as to numb them for eternity.  Cowardice is the sword of those who actually pray so, while those with stubborn courage and pride continue to believe life is worthwhile."

After writing that, I feel relieved and actually happy.  Back to my bag of Dove milk chocolate eggs.  They're good.  I guess Edgar A. Poe had an influence on my thinking - oh how I love reading his works.  For heroics, one can try Alexandre Dumas with the Count of Monte Cristo being my favorite.  I guess that I like an elegant revenge as well as the idea of true love.  Well enough of this, I am done.

I had a great night yesterday with Jason and Wilson.  We had a three man bible study and talked for hours afterward.  I realize that my first goal should be to love my Jesus with all heart, soul, and strength.  Having a goal is sure a good thing.  Can't wait until next week when Wilson will lead the BS.  Work is coming along, getting more and more each day, which is cool.  I like being busy.  Lunchtime, gotta eat

Does the soul of a person need to rest like how I need to sleep?  For some reason that I don't even know of, I was unable to fall asleep until 3:30AM.  That used to be okay during my college years, but having to be a work at 7:00 AM after an hour's drive is a totally different story. 

Being sleepy and tired is a really weird feeling.  It feels like your whole body has a mind of its own (Maybe it does).  I can be trying to type the same word over and over again, making the same mistake a thousand times, and I can't do a thing about it.  Now, I really understand why cramming for a test is really a bad idea.  Not only are you tense and irritable, but you're sleepy and your body feels like its mutiny against you.  About to get off work, Thank God.  I think I'll just park my car in Chinatown and caught some zzzz's before fellowship.  Yup, you get to see me if you are walking around Chinatown tonight.

Back to the soul, I guess it does need some rest and the question is: "Where can a heavy laden soul find rest?"  Search well and you'll be rewarded for much more.  Check in the world's best seller and you'll find the answer.

Drooling with the zzz's