wannalift612's Xanga

If you could only be remembered with one word, what word would it be?

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:32:31 GMT

"Strong."

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Emptiness.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 03:40:21 GMT

"..Shake it off, big guy. Shake it off..

You're doing great."

That's what I keep telling myself.

Daring.

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:59:13 GMT

Things are well.

I got a GREAT job offer at Vitamin World (a local vitamin and dietary supplement store that I supported even when I worked at GNC) that I'm going to take.

I'm coming in off the street as the second assistant manager. Which is awesome.

But she's stressing my advancement will take place almost immediately because the first one is leaving.

Score.

I like being a waiter. I really do. But the drama from all the people still in high school (or people who still think they're stuck in high school) is just not worth it.

It's also extremely disheartening and emasculating to have what I make on a night doubled by a female just because she has a nice body.

I'll explain.

One of our servers has an incredibly nice body. She's also extremely lazy.

I worked from 9 AM to 1 AM. I worked both shifts.

She worked from 4:45 to 12:30. One shift.

I made 75 dollars.

She walked out with a little over 200.

It was such a blow to my ego.

Granted, that was when I first started and didn't really have my bearings, but it's always stuck with me.

With what I consider to be a true salesman's personality (I got it from my dad. He can sell anything.), it was crushing.

Oh well. No more.

I'll be turning in a notice quite soon.

I can't wait to be back in the supplement world.

I also can't wait to be training again.

I've missed it.

I've also been missing her again. Just lately.

I think the finality of her recent declaration of her engagement and quickly arriving marriage is really sinking in.

I don't think I've truly forgiven myself for how we ended.

And he's such a better guy than I am.

But I've made leaps and bounds on that front.

I'm no longer beating myself up on a hourly basis.

She really was one in a billion.

I've dated a little and had some decent prospects (all with extreme failure), but the effort was there.

That counts for something, I guess.

And I'll be going back to school relatively soon.

Stoked about that.

I'm slowly but surely buying myself out of debt, so that's pretty sweet too.

And I'll be getting a new cell phone and plan and all that crap all by myself a lot sooner than I thought.

God bless some of this newfangled technology.

And I found out I was a direct descendant of Robert the Bruce.

And Mary, Queen of Scots.

I freaked out when I found that out.

My mom's cousin did a family tree.

She went all the way back to 680 AD.

Took her 20 years.

That's quite an undertaking.

With awesome results.

I've got royal Scottish blood flowing through my veins.

That gives me goosebumps at the very thought.

I knew I had highland blood in me, but never to that degree.

Scottish and proud til the day I die.

I wish I could've been born back then.

I would've loved to have been a farmer.

That went and fought battles on the weekends.

That's my ideal life.

I'll get there someday.

And that's gotta count for something, right?

Purpose.

Wed, 28 May 2008 02:15:29 GMT

I wish I meant as much to her as she does to me.

I'm doing my best to make sure not to make her a priority when I'm only her option.

Used.

Sun, 25 May 2008 20:25:56 GMT

I was offered a good job.

I'm going to take it.

A girl's got my head in a spin again.

No worries.

I just hate feeling used.

Bills are almost paid.

I've got gas in the Wild Rover.

It was a great feeling waking up next to someone so beautiful.

Even if it was only for a night.

I've had a night with someone truly beautiful, even if it was a night.

I've had my night, by God, and I'll apologize to no one.

I can live with that.

Drunk.

Wed, 14 May 2008 02:51:14 GMT

Yes, I'm drunk as I write this.

Yes, I drove myself home.

Yes, I'm an angry drunk.

..Yes, I've made my peace with that.

Yes, I did break something tonight.

Yes, I can shatter an ashtray with my bare, right hand.

Yes, I did so tonight.

Yes, I know I'm saying 'yes' at the beginning of every sentence.

Yes, I'm EXTREMELY proud of myself for taking my anger out on said ashtray and not my 'friend's' faces.

Yes, I'm in control.

Yes, I'll remember everything in the morning.

Yes, I'm the captain of the Applebee's softball team.

Yes, I did bleed tonight.

Yes, I've made my peace with that.

Yes, I am zen.

Yes, you should contact me, if indeed, you have any more questions.

Strong(er).

Tue, 06 May 2008 14:02:09 GMT

So, I'm stronger than I've ever believed.

I did something that most men would never do. Or ever admit to.

I turned down a threesome.

Let that sink in.

I turned down a threesome.

It was earlier this morning.

I had one beer.

I want one girl all to myself.

The other one annoys the ever-living shit out of me.

The one I wanted approached me, whispered in my ear "You could totally have both of us.. if you'd like"

I told her flatly "I want you all to myself."

"That's not how it's gonna work.." she said sweetly.

She then licked my face in a way that made me weak in the knees and walked off.

I finished my meal, put a dip in, and drove home.

And that's the end of that story.

I find it quite funny.

Swept.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:26:15 GMT

So, I dig her.

Yup, it's official.

We have a date not this Saturday, but the next.

And she's never been on a real date before.

Which gives me yet another chance to shine.

I pride myself on my doting abilities.

Let me give you a little background on me.

I was raised by a single mother.

Who is extremely feminine.

She instilled in me how to treat women, never take advantage of a girl who has feelings for you, and overall how to be a gentleman.

She's big on southern chivalry.

I also had contact with my biological father.

He taught me how NOT to treat women.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

But yeah, I already know where I'm going to take her.

She's pretty awesome.

Refreshed.

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:08:27 GMT

It's been a while.

I've got a new job.

Waiter/barback at Applebee's.

It's fun, exciting work.

My natural personality, charm, and charisma keep my tips big, my coworkers entertained, and the work never dull.

And my knowledge of beer helps. I had no idea being an armchair expert on beer could be such a boon.

And to top it all off, I like a coworker of mine.

And she likes me back.

I'm hoping anyway. Her hugs and hidden hand holding kinda give it away.

Something else of note.. on my second day of work, my old work of being a bouncer caught up to me, and a manager and I had to ask a customer to leave.

I couldn't believe it.

The customer had a look of malice on his face when the manager was asking him politely to pay his tab and leave, but once he realized I was standing within grabbing range, he calmly, quietly left.

I thought it was of note. Mainly because I couldn't believe it was at an Applebee's.

And I got my job back at American Eagle.

On my second day back at AE, I had just gotten off from a night shift at Applebee's at 12:30.

I went straight to AE and worked until 4:30.

I love those kinds of shifts. I don't know why.

I think it's mainly because they let me try and prove something to myself.

Anyway, a new guy at the store was unwrapping new girls clothes, and throwing the lose-leafed wrapping paper that the clothes come wrapped in on the floor.

Think tissue gift bag paper, but thicker.

Extremely slick on polished hardwood floor.

Yeah, I had an armload of clothes, and yes indeed, my big ass slipped and fell.

Ever since then, my right ankle (the one that did the slipping) has been frighteningly wonky.

Oh well.

And I'll admit, my training has been pushed aside because of me not being used to this schedule.

Bills will be paid, said female will be taken on dates, and a 360 will be bought.

So.. Groovy.

How are you guys doing? I've missed you.

Serene.

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:31:14 GMT

I've been thinking of her a lot lately.

Missing her.

But training is going well.

Got a job that I start tomorrow.

Hopefully, things are looking up.