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| "muck fichigan"
hahah who saw the Michigan-Appalachian State football game? | | |
| Someone told me long ago theres a calm before the storm,
I know; its been comin for some time.
When its over, so they say, itll rain a sunny day,
I know; shinin down like water.
Chorus:
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain
Comin down on a sunny day?
Yesterday, and days before, sun is cold and rain is hard,
I know; been that way for all my time.
til forever, on it goes through the circle, fast and slow,
I know; it cant stop, I wonder. | | |
| so college admissions is fucked up
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| Bharat Anant
Masterpieces II
Ramsaroop
26, January 2007
Dante’s Forgotten Tenth
We walked to the next level of hell, of which I swore not to speak of, yet I feel obliged. Anyway, when I reached the tenth circle I began to see horrors that were simply unimaginable.
The tenth circle, though heavily packed, was quite small. It was simply a room with twenty desks squeezed into an arc around a three-by-three table. In front of the table was a long, black chalkboard with erratic scribbling that covered the black surface, and to the far right was a small two-by-twelve window that ran from the ceiling to the floor. Outside was a glimpse of what the people in this level could have been in had they chosen a different path, like stabbing their friends in the back. Satan was chewing the people they saw outside; the poor souls of the tenth circle would have gladly opted to that option if given the choice, instead they were damned to this literal hellhole.
To our left was an extremely cluttered table that could have been anything because it was so heavily packed with papers that we could not see any surface area of this furniture. There was a computer that sat on the far side of the desk and then I turned to my guide, Sam Fok, and asked, “What in god’s name did these souls do to warrant this sort of torture?”
“What didn’t they do?” he asked.
“Yes, but what specifically…”
“Oh, specifically. Well, you know these people; they are the ones who you, and everyone else in the world, hated. These people are simply the highly annoying over inclined students and pompous Honors English kiss asses.”
“I see, so how are they punished?”
“Well, is it not obvious? They are damned to this hellhole for the rest of eternity. Do you not recognize it?” Sam asked.
“No, I think I have a vague memory of this class room. Where have I seen it before?” I asked back walking to a desk with a student who was writing feverously.
“Rebecca? Rebecca Goldstein? Oh my god! How did you end up in this circle?” I inquired,
“Well apparently they can put you into hell for blowing up on people for simple mistakes in their papers. You know I hated those abhorred comma splices.” She got out before her papers suddenly exploded. Ash flew everywhere and then suddenly the excrements disappeared and a new sheet took its place.
“Oh well, I guess you get to start again. Have fun.” I said turning back to Sam. “For the life of me I can’t figure out what class room this is.”
“Ah, well this is Mrs. Screamer’s class room.” He said. I cringed. Laughing, Sam joked, “Yes, I know how you feel” as Eugene Khariton approached us. “Ah Eugene, imagine finding you here, so how do you like it?”
“It’s actually not too bad, it will all be worth it when I’m finally in the top ten in our class.”
“We better get the hell out of here before Mrs. Screamer shows up. She may make us answer her questions. See you around, Eugene.” As we walked out Sam said, “Yes, this is his first day, he is freshly dead. Lets watch from the window to see what happens.”
We walked around to the window and saw Mrs. Screamer teaching the class. Her chalk hit the board as nails do, overpowering the low hum of cries. As she asked a question, Eugene’s hand shot up into the air and he began to answer it, merely regurgitating the ideas that were thrown at him during class. Sam said, “You may not want to see what is going to happen now. This is the punishment stage.”
“Oh man, he has to actually kiss…Oh god! It doesn’t look like Eugene even minds.”
“Wait for it” Sam reassured me. Screamer then walked to her cluttered desk, picked up a paper and handed it to Eugene. Eugene looked at it and turned red; tears started flowing from his eyes and he fell out of his desk. “That was Eugene’s report card, he failed English. It looks like he had a negative fudge factor.”
”Oh man, I had that too. Lets get the heck out of here.” I said, and we turned around and left for our next destination.
Note: In no way am I trying to offend Rebecca and Eugene. This is purely satirical…
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