The Pursuit in Happiness

So here's my random quip for the day. I was...believe it or not...filling out a survey to post on myspace out of sheer boredom at work (where I still happen to be at the moment writing this blog...haha) and couldn't think of the reference to a Bible verse that I wanted to use as an answer to one of the survey questions. So I go to crosswalk.com (one of the best online Bible resource tools) to look it up when something on their homepage caught my eye. It was an image of three women standing next to each other and the words "We Want To Be Pursued" plastered across the frame. Honestly, what woman wouldn't click on that teaser??? So of course I click on the image and I'm taken to an article written by the author of the book Where Have All the Good Men Gone?, A.J. Kiesling. In summary, the article basically encourages men to step up and ask a woman out since the most frustrating thing for most single women is the fact that many men today are too shy or afraid to take the initiative and "make the first move". Even in our Sadie Hawkins Society where girls and women now have free reign to be the initiator in a relationship, women still desire to be pursued. We want to be sought out. We want men to "fight" for us.

But something that I think often gets overlooked on this topic is the fact that single women aren't the only ones who want to be pursued. Now, I'm not saying that women who are already married or in a relationship are looking to have other men chase after them. What needs to be said is that even those of us who are in relationships still have that same desire as the single woman. We still want to be pursued. We still want to be romanced. And we still want our men to "fight" for us.

Of course, this kind of pursuit will be a bit different than a man pursuing a single woman. But the basic principle is still there. To be with the woman that you desire. "But I already have the woman that I desire" says the man. True. You pursued her enough that you are now in the relationship. That shouldn't mean you're done pursuing. You've won her heart, but you need to keep winning it throughout the relationship.

Why am I writing this? I'm writing this because I have seen it too many times not only in my own relationship with my boyfriend, but in the relationships of others, that often times men get so comfortable in having their girl by their side that they end up taking them for granted. They've won the hearts of their woman, so she's his forever. I'm sorry boys, but that is never a guarantee. Believe it or not, more work goes into maintaining a relationship than starting one. So don't think that the pursuit is over once you've got a woman's heart.

Confused? Let me give you some examples. You used to open up doors for your sweetheart, wanting to be the gentleman and display your chivalry. Now that you've been dating for 6 months, the door opening has dwindled, if not ended completely. Why? Because you've known her for 6 months and you know that she's capable of opening that door herself? So what? She fell for the gentleman. What do you think is going to happen if that gentleman disappears? Or here's a good one. You would spend hours, or at least one, planning the perfect evening with your honey. Dinner at a fancy restaurant, a romantic scenic drive to your favorite lookout spot, or even a cute romantic movie and a picnic in your living room. You're nearing your 3 year wedding anniversary and your idea of date is grabbing some In 'N Out and renting the latest action flick. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Now, I'm not writing this simply to dog on the male gender and tell you all how incapable or inept you are at relationships. I'm writing this because sometimes a little reminder doesn't hurt. The woman you love now is the same woman you had to work hard to get in the first place. She was attracted to you because you chose to make that first move and initiate a relationship. And she will be attracted to you even more now if you choose to make another move and initiate more romance in your relationship. Take comfort in the fact that you know she's your girl. But don't take that fact for granted. Keep on pursuing her. Romance her. And SHOW her that you love her. Bring her flowers for no reason. Call her while she's working and leave her a funny voicemail just to let her know that you're thinking of her. Pray for her and pray WITH her. Plan a romantic night out and be the ultimate gentleman. Do something that she wants to do just because she wants to do it and you love her enough to try. Write her a love note...or even just go to hallmark and buy her one of those funny music cards that plays a song that means something to the both you. Just let her know how much you care. Not only will she appreciate it, but it will make her even more attracted to you.

Ok, girls, this doesn't mean we're off the hook. Just as much as we enjoy being romanced by our men, they too enjoy being spoiled. So what does that mean for us? It means we can't just sit on our butts expecting the boys to do all the work to keep the romance alive. Cook your man his favorite meal. Surprise him with movie tickets to the hottest new action movie that just opened up. Call him at work and leave him a silly voice message just to let him know you've been thinking about him. Plan a fun evening for him and his friends to hang out with just the boys. And never fail to verbally praise your man. Let him know how much you love him and appreciate him. Tell him how handsome you think he is (avoid the word "cute" here when you can). And hey, let the man talk about whatever man things he wants to talk about every once in a while. Remember, he puts up with our emotional dribble, so it's only fair.

Finally, to all you single men out there who are tired of hearing us women complain about how you don't pursue and all that action. I'm sorry we complain so much. I can understand how tired you all must be of hearing it. It's true that it's just as hard for you guys to ask a woman out than it is for us women to wait for you to ask us out. There's uncertainty on both ends, and there's risk on both ends. But don't let fear of rejection or your shyness keep you from finding out "what could be". Ask a girl out on a date. If she says yes, the woohoo for you! If she says no, at least you know and she knows that you had the guts to step up and ask. Just that will make her remember you for a long time as the one guy who was willing to do some pursuing.

Alone....but not

Don't Settle

Though it tarries, wait for it . . . —Habakkuk 2:3

"...A person who has the vision of God is not devoted to a cause or to any particular issue— he is devoted to God Himself. You always know when the vision is of God because of the inspiration that comes with it. Things come to you with greatness and add vitality to your life because everything is energized by God. He may give you a time spiritually, with no word from Himself at all, just as His Son experienced during His time of temptation in the wilderness. When God does that, simply endure, and the power to endure will be there because you see God.

"Though it tarries, wait for it . . . ." The proof that we have the vision is that we are reaching out for more than we have already grasped. It is a bad thing to be satisfied spiritually....Our reach must exceed our grasp. Paul said, "Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on . . ." ( Philippians 3:12  ). If we have only what we have experienced, we have nothing. But if we have the inspiration of the vision of God, we have more than we can experience. Beware of the danger of spiritual relaxation." ~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Never be content with your spiritual state. Now I'm not saying to never be content. By all means, be content with where you are and what you have. But when it comest to your spiritual life, always be striving for more. Press on, as Paul did, for even greater fellowship with Christ and with others. Don't settle. Don't stop reaching for that something greater just because you feel that what you have or where you are is "good enough". If God has given you a vision, if He has placed a greater desire and passion in your heart, then reach for it. Never mind that it may be out of grasp at the moment. Continue to reach. Strive for it. Strive for God. "Our reach must exceed our grasp." What are we grasping to right now? If it isn't God, then we need to be reaching farther and higher.

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This Goes Out to All the Girls

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Burdens

"We must recognize the difference between burdens that are right for us to bear and burdens that are wrong. We should never bear the burdens of sin or doubt, but there are some burdens placed on us by God which He does not intend to lift off. God wants us to roll them back on Him— to literally "cast your burden," which He has given you, "on the Lord . . . ." If we set out to serve God and do His work but get out of touch with Him, the sense of responsibility we feel will be overwhelming and defeating. But if we will only roll back on God the burdens He has placed on us, He will take away that immense feeling of responsibility, replacing it with an awareness and understanding of Himself and His presence.

Many servants set out to serve God with great courage and with the right motives. But with no intimate fellowship with Jesus Christ, they are soon defeated. They do not know what to do with their burden, and it produces weariness in their lives. Others will see this and say, "What a sad end to something that had such a great beginning!"

"Cast your burden on the Lord . . . ." You have been bearing it all, but you need to deliberately place one end on God’s shoulder. ". . . the government will be upon His shoulder" ( Isaiah 9:6 ). Commit to God whatever burden He has placed on you. Don’t just cast it aside, but put it over onto Him and place yourself there with it. You will see that your burden is then lightened by the sense of companionship. But you should never try to separate yourself from your burden." ~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest.

I finally found the word I've been looking for. WEARY. That's how I constantly feel all the time...weary. No amount of sleep or rest or time off can overcome my weariness. And I feel like Oswald Chambers's  writing offers a perfect explanation to my weariness. Burden. And I do feel a lot of burden in my life right now. I am burdened, #1, by sin in my life. But I am also burdened by my intense and growing desire to serve. I truly do want to change the world. i want to touch the lives of others. I want to lead and minister. Ireland, especially, has been on my heart. The young people I have worked with. My family in Christ. The need for ministry there. It is all constantly on my heart and on my mind. And I am just burdened by the feeling that my life is meant for so much more than a 40hr/week job selling art and furniture. Ministry is my calling. Serving others is my passion. And serving Christ is my purpose.

So I guess I find myself in the same place where another friend of mine described herself as being...at the crossroads. Two paths lie before me and I am faced with the decision of which path to take. Do I cast my burdens on You, Lord? Do I commit these things in my life to You and trust that You will lighten the weight? Or do I continue to hold on to these burdens by my own strength? Do I try to do this all on my own?

One path leads to the cross. The other to more pain, more burden. Which path to take? Whose will to follow?