| pessimism galore.
All of a sudden I've become so scared. I'm scared of senior year, applying to colleges, taking the SAT one last time. I'm scared of failure. I feel like I haven't tried hard enough to succeed. I haven't tried hard enough to be the best student, daughter, friend, sister, or girlfriend I can be. I feel like it's already too late to fix things.
- I think my pessimism pisses people off. So I'm sorry if you feel the need to strangle me after reading this -
I know it's no use whining, but what if my GPA, rank, SAT score, etc aren't good enough for the colleges I want to go to? I'm just not satisfied with myself, and I feel that the colleges won't be either. I want a 5.0 GPA (which IS possible at WB). 2400 SAT score. #1 rank. I'm not happy unless I have the best. I probably have this mindset because all my best friends throughout elementary, intermediate, middle, and high school have been near-genius. I've always tried and tried to be like them, but I always fell behind.
rant rant rant rant rant
I'm taking 5 AP classes this year & everyone thinks I'm insane. Maybe I am. But this is my final chance to redeem myself... and at the same time, this is my final opportunity to totally screw everything up. Let's hope the latter doesn't happen.
i wish i could stay this carefree forever >_<
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