you should be worried.  at the rate im going im not gonna make it.

b: nothing

l:nothing

coffee all day

gym today - party tonight

ill comment laterrr

stay strong

going to the gym makes me feeel sooo goood : )

hope everyone valentines day is beautiful - stay away from the chocolate

exactly a year ago i could go days without eating - now that seems immpossible to me. i used to be so much stronger. i used to be alot of things...

tomorrow i'm going to start going to the gym again everyday.  i used to go twice a day, now i never go.

i'm a lazy piece of shit. i barely do school work anymore - i do what i need to get by. i get drunk and high every night.

im so selfish. i dont give a shit about school cuz i go to college for free. i know if i was paying i would care - but i dont. i still get good grades, i got a 3.5 last semester, but i know i cant get a 4.0. 

ahh at least i have great nights every nights.

starting tomorrow - i'm going to the gym everyday, not eating, and doing school work.

so i've been restricting really well. i try to eat a little when im around my friends here so they don't say shit.  its easy though.  its kinda really weird, my three best friends here at school are all bulimic, well i dont know if i believe one of them...but yeah haha i guess we all just found eachother.  they always want to talk about it when we're all drunk - i always say im in recovery im not talking about this and then i leave.  im not trusting anyone with my problem anymore, its mine.

but anyway saturday night i threw up blood and then yesterday i got a bloody nose.  im kinda concerned about whats going on.  the reason i threw up was because i was really drunk.  i drink a lot, i mean a lot - i dont know if that has anything to do with it. but yeah it was just kind of scary...

ahh i would do anything to be taking ballet classes on a regular basis...