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| my plans to get out of this mess and back into focusIn recent news, I got laid off from Baskin Robbins...an ice cream place...during the summer...wtf?
Either way, my only job now is working at Vector which...is fun. But I'm not a salesman and the only thing keeping me there is the need for money. I applied at the Kroger up here and my old manager referred me, so I'm hoping that works out so I can quit selling Cutco...omg!!! I've been needing to vent that out.
On top of all that, I've recentered my focus onto school again. Once that's over, my focus will be voice lessons again. Work is just to help me earn some money for gas and what-not. Then comes band camp :) I can't wait. School is almost here and soon I'll have a schedule and a practice room to use and constant contact with my teacher and pianist!!! OMG I can't wait.
All I want is to be into practice/school-mode again.
Fuck dating, lol that's what friends with benefits are for. Way too busy and poor to date. I'll make friends and let something happen.
Sorry if I don't feel like finding love should be my number one priority like everyone else, but I definitely find other things more important right now. Plus, gay men were supposed to mate right? haha w/e. I'll date when I'm ready and if something comes along, well great.
I thought money was most important when I started working at Vector...but then I got laid off and really worried, only to realize my grades were suffering, which is not cool. I got a D on my online math test :( so I really have to make sure I pass my classes so I can still get the credits I need to get ahead in school.
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| things are getting betterI got a job at Baskin Robbins and I start on Monday.
I've been looking for some kind of change lately. Things are different here of course, but I mean a change with myself. Since my penis isn't getting any bigger, I'm probably going to restyle my hair and maybe dye it again sometime. Maybe before school starts up again.
I might have use of a piano on a regular basis, so that solves my practicing crisis. Plus I got my music picked out. :D
I went on a date last night with this guy Andy and he took me to dinner in BG. Then we walked around BG campus and went to see Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian which was really good. Then we went to go see the big windmills on 6. They were cool. I'm glad I went out with him again. He's sweet.
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| Well, it's almost the end of May and I've been home for almost a month now.
I got a car, Green '97 Chevy Cavalier and I named him Philbert. He's lovely and a wonderful new friend of mine.
I've applied for jobs and had two interviews. One of which is promising. Baskin Robbins might be it, A&F probably won't call me. Either way, I'd be happy.
I've been doing this casual dating thing and it's weird, but I like it. It's nice to actually be able to get myself back into the swing of seeing someone for over a week and not getting sick of them. I baked a cake with Matt. It was fun, AND STRAWBERRY! mmmmmm....
I haven't been doing too much. Watching TV, meeting some people in Toledo. I've gone to one of the gay clubs *Bretz* and it's pretty neat in there. I can smell the drama though lol. *partially glad why I don't know people*
I've been losing weight, kinda. I dunno, but I really want to get back into shape so I can feel comfortable with my shirt off. Not that I don't already, but I mean, I could tone up.
Classes start soon, and all I can think of is, SHIT! I need to get my things and I need to get to a piano more so I can learn my music for Lessons.
I have my haircut scheduled on Wednesday, not that it's going to get cut drastically since my hair is short, but I'm hoping for a different style and maybe colour? Probably back to Auburn/Red.
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| Everything EndsThroughout my life I've watched TV and have enjoyed a few shows and I stuck with them until the end. Sometimes there are happy endings, and sometimes there are sad endings and sometimes they just leave you hanging.
Top Model ended last night and I was please that America's Next Top Model, Whitney is the first plus-size girl to win.
Never in my history of TV have I seen such an amazing ending to a TV series than Six Feet Under. Throughout the past two years I watched all five seasons on and off. Some of them were hard to get through and some were just sad. But when i got the 5th season I knew that things were going to end, but I didn't know how.
Now, I'm not going to say how things ended because I'm not a spoiler. But I cried, and it was amazing and that's what an amazing show is about. If you have not seen Six Feet Under, I suggest you watch it. It's and HBO show that ended in 2005 but you should rent it, buy it, or download it or something. But it's definitely one of the best shows I've seen...ever.
That is all.
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| Hello disappointment, it's been too soon...
Went on a date with a really great guy. Probably the least awkward and non-sexual first date I've ever had. Great date, I'm talking like I wanted to see him again so soon.
Facebook says he changes his status to "in a relationship" today when I get home. He got back together with he's cheating ex, giving him a second chance. I die a little inside, because disappointment and I are good friends, but I don't like him and he doesn't seem to get the hint.
It's better than a rejection where he just disappears and doesn't call or nothing, giving me a "hint". At least I have the fuckin balls to say I'm not interested before I disappear.
I think I should just enjoy being single, not that I have anything else to do this summer except work and wait for classes and lessons to start up to take my mind off of being alone. Jesus what a fuckin letdown.
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