"Just Further Along the Road to Wherever..."

Wow.  Wowie.  Wow.  It has been awhile, eh??  Hope everyone is having a splendid little summer out there, living it up and enjoying some much-needed vacation time.    Just try not to think about the astronomical price of fuel as you make the trek home...  Today, I noticed that gas prices have climbed to a whopping $4.09/gallon.  Talk about a having a "gas attack..."

Sorry.  Well, sort of.  Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about the fact that today marks the 2-year anniversary of my moving into this apartment.  It blows my mind that time has flown by so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday that I was carrying boxes and laying on the floor trying to figure out how to set up/connect this very laptop...struggling to start a new, single life and to let go of one that never did quite fit.  *sigh*  Many people have come and gone in my life since then....some missed more than others.  I often wonder whatever happened to certain folks....if they are happy....if they are really enjoying their lives - or merely enduring them.  I always pray that those people who hold a special place in my heart are living with courage, calling things what they are rather than what we might wish that they were.  Bravely facing life on life's terms, may we turn our faces into the sunlight of more promising horizons, gracefully letting go of all that is less than what God wills for our lives.

In line with this, I should mention that I have recently been privileged to listen to six or seven older people as they reminisce about the choices that have shaped their lives over the years.  I can honestly say that there is nothing more saddening than the dying light that flickers in the eyes of one who has waited...TOO LONG.  Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.  May we all choose with wisdom and in ways that protect our souls while we are here, even as we strive to persevere, strengthening our spirits for the hereafter...  We must all fight the good fight and never, ever give up on living, laughing, learning, and most of all - LOVING.  True love understands that "...if you jump, I jump...remember?"  We cannot - and SHOULD not - accept anything short of that.  I know that I won't, for as the old saying goes: "When the student is ready, the teacher will arrive."

Of course, I am still in the unenviable position of figuring out what to do whenever the "teacher" arrives ... and then goes on sabbatical for a couple of years.  Ah, but now I am saying too much...and still it is never enough, it seems.  Perhaps, I have truly only been talking out loud to myself for all of these months.  Well, it is whatever it is and we are whatever we have been becoming.  For better or for worse.  It is only in times of crisis...in times of war...that peace and joy are fully appreciated for the gifts that they are.  Likewise, it is only when we dare to stop clinging to our past notions of how things ought to be, that we can fully embrace the freedom of discovering how they still can be....if we would only let go and allow God in to rearrange our worlds, that is.  If we ever hope to fully live - to be wholly free - we must first, in a sense, DIE to the past...

That, my friends, is exactly what I intend to do on this 15th day of July, 2008....the two-year anniversary of my most courageous leap of faith ever...a leap right into the arms of one invisible Teacher whose lessons can be pretty tough to take but whose words remain forever written on my heart.  He knows that I am alone - but never really alone....that I am his and he is mine....and one of these days, in the far reaches of eternity, we will be reunited.  Of that, I am sure.  I suppose that we all just have a lot of living - and dying - to do first.  I must move on....letting go of the past and embracing the future....but I do not move on alone; he always knows where I am...where I seem to be going....and in that knowledge, I must rest and be content for now.  Someday, someday.....always that sweet.....someday.  *sigh*  In the meantime, no regrets.  Life is for the living....love, only for the daring.  Take heart and be strong, my friends.  Whenever the world heads south...there he is...in fact, something tells me that he is here-and-there right now...

Okay, okay - enough rambling.  I haven't given a real update in weeks here, pretty much since I started marathon training under the watchful eye of Malcolm - the best coach ever.  He has been going above and beyond the call of duty in recent weeks, carefully monitoring my workouts, nutrition, and sleeping habits, all the while offering helpful suggestions along the way.  We have spent so much time hanging out and having fun during recent weeks that I don't even know where to begin here.  Let's see.

Aaaahhhhh....one humorous runner's tip that Malcolm bestowed upon me involved how to select a good bush for you-know-what.  When you're out and about, completing high mileage training runs through the neighborhoods, bathrooms are not always easy to come by.  Malcolm has even transformed how I look at....LEAVES (a.k.a. "nature's toilet paper" - use your imagination).  I can't believe that I actually had to resort to the "tug and squat" tip during a training run two weeks ago.  Malcolm did what a good coach should and kept watch to ensure my privacy as best as he could.  Thank goodness that I didn't have to pull a "Paula Radcliffe"....check out this video clip of her winning the Flora London marathon....with enough time to spare for a pit stop of sorts along the route.  She was publicly criticized and later apologized to the entire world for the televised bathroom break, explaining that she had been cramping for 6 miles due to indigestion and had to eliminate a breakfast that was gumming up the works....yowsahs:

Ooookay....hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go!! *shrugs*  So backtracking to sometime around Father's Day weekend....Since Malcolm enjoys ethnic cuisine, I treated him to dinner at an Indian restaurant where I sampled a mango-yogurt smoothie and these delicious samosas.  We shared two entrees (the food looks disgusting but is really quite tasty), and I enjoyed myself so much that he later introduced me (and our now-mutual friend/neighbor, Barb) to the joys of cooking with curry and exotic spices.  Although he practically lives on chocolate and water, weighing in at only 135 at 5-foot 10-inches, Malcolm sure does know how to pull it together in the kitchen.  Last night, we ran a 14-miler and while I showered up, he got busy cooking up spaghetti with a spicy tomato, mushroom, and onion sauce, complete with "meatless meat" (suspicious) crumbled in for added protein to help rebuild my tired little leggy muscles.  He said that I needed to replace my carbs before this morning's 5 mile run since we had less than 12 hours in between the training runs and I am pushing the pace more than usual lately.  Nevertheless, we usually end up eating takeout....check out this Chicken Spinach pizza from Mm-Mm Pizza - hands-down our favorite by far for a nice post-run dinner (or doubles as the "breakfast of champions"):

And for dessert, this Giant Eagle fruit tart (I think they call it "flan" - ooooh fancy schmancy):

I have also discovered the perfect treat for my chocoholic coach....since we all know that "I'm an ORANGE!!!!" since the Cleveland marathon (yep, he loved it):

Heh.  When you're still a turtle runner, you have to try to keep your coach happy with things that are sure to bring a smile....like this little guy, chosen for his obvious "turtleishness" as well as for the "spectacles" that remind me of "Dr. M." himself:

We also discovered that Giant Eagle carries boxes of "Red Rose" tea bags....and the best part is that in each box of Earl Grey tea (for a limited time only), there is one of ten different "Pet Shop Animal" figurines, crafted in Wade, England.  At $2.50 a box, I seem to be developing a gambling problem since I now own 6 boxes/240 tea bags (some people just never know when to give up).  You see, I am on a mission to collect both the turtle and the rabbit figurine (for obvious reasons).  I can't stop now!!   So far, I have snagged the horse, puppies, and a repeat of the labrador.  Most recently, I pulled the duck and the kittens (not pictured) out from between the tea bags.  Malcolm just shakes his head and supposes that I'm entitled to at least some such "cheap thrills."  Good thing Earl Grey is that Englishman's favorite tea....

BUT don't think that this relationship is all onesided now...   Malcolm is doing more than his share of passing along his running gear gifts to me as well....  People give him the coolest things...  Check out my latest in technical gear.  This outfit at the top is the one that his store is gifting to top regional runners to promote Mizuno (brand) at the races.  He snagged one for me even before I'm very speedy, on faith that I'll be up there anyway someday too, at least if my speed workouts continue to go as well as they are...

And for my early morning caffeine consumption, this little thermos thingy:

In addition to this, Malcolm encourages me to spend a little bit on myself for non-running-related items...  On a shopping trip for singlets, he helped me pick out this footwear (no running in these puppies, m'dearies):

Speaking of feet, I have now run off two additional toenails and have been diagnosed with a nasty case of plantar fasciitis.  For those of you who don't know, this is a pretty common running injury.  It feels as though there are spikes literally driving through the heel of your foot each time your heel strikes the ground.  The plantar fascia (a ligament band running from your heel to the ball of your foot) pulls on the heel bone, raising the arch of your foot as it pushes off the ground...BUT if your foot moves incorrectly, the plantar fascia may become strained. The fascia then swells and its tiny fibers may begin to fray, causing plantar fasciitis:

Well, it is really painful and sometimes can require surgery if left untreated.  Some people have it for their entire lives and require customized orthotics to walk without feeling the pain of heel spurs.  I didn't realize that this could become so serious and so I was somewhat confused as to why Malcolm immediately hooked me up with inserts for my running shoes and these massaging rollers when I mentioned the pain on a training run (the Shuffle Ipod pictured is my gift to me...just love it!!):

The little roller is for my feet and the large one to help undo the damage after running insane mileage.  Sometimes the massages hurt even more than the workouts themselves.  I'm serious on that.  Well, Malcolm says that if things don't improve with ice, rolling it, and the inserts, then he will take me to his podiatrist for some cortisone shots...  I told him that I already feel as though I have spikes sticking into my feet so I guess the shots won't be so hard to take after all....

This whole injury issue has led to some interesting misunderstandings on training runs, however.  The weekend before last, we ran for 2 hours and Malcolm had me do 5 minute "pickups" (tempo runs) mixed into the first hour with 2 minute recovery periods in between.  We did that for the entire first hour and there were so many hills running through the local neighborhoods that I was really feeling it by the end of the first hour.  We had run around to two different high school tracks to do one lap on each before heading off into the neighborhood streets to splash through more puddles, slogging about in the rain.  By the way, I have never really run on the track and boy, was that a pleasant surprise!!  Track turf is SO much softer than the sidewalk concrete/asphalt that I've been pounding forever.  Malcolm is going to pop me onto the track soon for a speed workout but has been shying away from that for awhile because he is afraid that I'll obsess too much about time/distance/progress since it is too easy to calculate pace/distance on the track.  He estimated that I am running in the high 7's as far as minutes per mile whenever I do my speed work once a week (mile repeats) out in the neighborhood...but I still can't hold that pace for very long yet - only for about 6 minutes before I need a recovery.  Anyway, on the last hour, I was tired from the tempo running and he just told me to run another hour so that I get used to running while extremely fatigued.  He used the time to run up ahead and then back, working in his own workout at his (crazy-elite-athlete) pace.  He is amazing to watch in action.  Well, I was hurting from about the 3rd mile on since I was coming off of a nonstop mileage week already.  My right heel was killing me and after every 5-minute tempo interval, Malcolm was looking over at me, hardly sweating or breathing himself, and asking how I was feeling.  At first, I answered "not great," but after about 3 repeats of this, it started to get annoying.  I mean, how on earth did he THINK I was feeling??  About a half of a mile worse than the last time he asked.  C'mon now....basically, I feel like garbage and I have an  hour and a half left to go so there is no point in continuing to verbalize it.  I couldn't figure out why he kept asking me that????

Well, witch that I am, I did get a little bit short with him and he noticed.  A few minutes later, he glanced over and told me that I could tell him that I hated him right about then.  I explained that I did NOT hate him - he was doing what I had asked him to do as my coach - PUSHING me.....it's just that I didn't want to talk about how my legs felt like lead from the first mile...  Only after the run did we discover the misunderstanding.  Malcolm wasn't asking if I was tired ("Annie, I honestly don't care if you're feeling tired...I know you'll feel tired...I push myself hard so I'm going to push you just as hard..."); he had meant that I needed to tell him if the pain in my foot was getting to the point that I was going to mess myself up long-term by continuing....  OH.  You see, he is concerned that I won't say anything if I'm in serious pain/injuring myself further and then I'll be out of commission for an extended period and not able to train at all.  I just thought that he was asking if I was feeling the workout for what it was....HARD.  Ooops.  There are lots of such instances that we have had to iron out as we feel our way along during this startup process, but overall, we are having a blast training together in spite of the fact that I seem to be injury prone...

Speaking of injuries, check out what happened when I tried to broil some post-run steaks.  I ended up broiling my arm and it's a nasty scar now.  Malcolm slapped an ice pack on it and Barb, my downstairs neighbor, saved the day with her RN skills.  She's treating the scar with silicone...  Steaks were well done though.  As was my arm.

The day prior to my burn, I went for an 8-mile run in the rain and at mile 3, accidentally did a face plant into the sidewalk, scratching my chin, hands, elbows, and knees.

Malcolm met up with me after my run and caught me just as I was turning back into my apartment, bleeding all over the new socks that he gave me....  Me thinks I need a full-time guardian angel at the rate I'm going.  No wonder he keeps warning me about running at night by myself (we were harassed by a carload of teenage guys in the mall parking lot while jogging a few weeks back - I was so scared but he handled it) and about wearing my seat belt at all times.....  I'm pathetic!!

Let's see....what else?  For the 4th of July, we had a long speed workout scheduled so we missed the fireworks and grabbed the most gigantic taco salads known to man at this local restaurant.  It was impossible even for a champ like Malcolm to consume....  The man had met his match:

As far as races, Malcolm wants me to run a 1:45 half-marathon by the middle of September, either in Chicago or Akron, I think.  Virginia Beach half-marathon is at the end of August, so maybe that one.  I'm not very fast yet, but I've only completed 4 speed workouts and it takes time to develop that, especially when I'm doing so much mileage to build up strength.  I'm doing fine, I guess.  Last week, Malcolm looked over during an especially tough section of the workout and smiled, "Why you're a tough little bugger, aren't you???"  Heehee - he has no idea.   Just kidding.  Well, on most days, Malcolm says that I am "running smart," as far as pacing goes, usually saving myself up for the last part of the workout; my best sections are always the last one or two since I can better gauge how much I have left to burn at that point...

Anyway, my weight loss has slowed, in part because I am so hungry all of the time.  It's easier to lose when I am not running like a maniac, believe it or not.  Malcolm said that I'm "below average for most Americans" weight-wise, but "above average for a distance runner."  It's hard to find the balance between fueling up (enough so that I'm not exhausted from lack of nutrition/compromising performance) and paring down (so that I have less body fat to propel toward the finish line).  It's kind of frustrating, actually.  Oh well.  I mean, a couple of Saturdays ago, Barb invited me (and later that day, Malcolm as well) downstairs to her apartment for some chicken potpie that she made from scratch and I wasn't about to blow that visit off just because I am trying to cut back on my dietary intake.  It also doesn't help when Malcolm tempts me with his chocolate supply and feeds me these salt-and-vinegar kettle chips that I have never before tried in my life and just found out that I absolutely adore 'em....  Hm.  I guess that I'll get faster eventually and everything will balance out.  I also suspect that I am gaining some muscle as well and Malcolm keeps telling me that I am doing fine, even getting a little bit faster already, so just to trust him.  I'm trying to do that.  I do feel a bit stronger but usually only noticeably after my one day off each week.  Rest has a way of rejuvenating, I suppose.  I don't get much rest anymore but my body is still adapting and Malcolm says that it will learn to recover on the lighter mileage days.  He eventually wants me to run everyday, just as he does.  So far, six days on/one day off has my feet in an uproar though so....one day at a time... 

I need to keep in mind that I also must relax and indulge in my favorite treats every now and again so that I don't burn out and feel too deprived.  Balance and moderation is everything.  I almost backed out of ordering at Rita's Ice this past Saturday since I thought that they had lowfat frozen custard and it turned out that the soft-serve was full-fat.  Malcolm actually encouraged me to eat whatever I wanted since I was running 14 miles the next day and had run 6 miles that day already.  I started arguing that none of that mattered since I missed out on my situp routine and hadn't managed to get my Bally's membership yet (Malcolm just joined to do some light weight training).....but then I caught myself.  I tend to lose perspective at times and that's my own fault.  Sometimes I am my own worst enemy, I swear.    Well, I did recently find a favorite source of carbohydrates in the local Target....Good-n-Fruitys!!!  I thought that they did not make them anymore and so imagine my delight at finding these!  Much to Malcolm's chagrin, I bought six boxes right away!!  They make me happy:

Oh and we also have been spending some time sorting through old photos for scrapbooking...  Below are some old photos of Malcolm tearing up the track.  The ones on top are of him winning the Pittsburgh marathon in 2:19.  We watched the video of the race together - his first time EVER viewing it, if you can believe that?  It was rather uneventful, however, since he was a full 6 minutes ahead of his nearest competitor throughout the entire marathon.  The next photo (4th one) where he is so high off of the ground is him moving (in college, I think) at a mid-4-minute mile pace....  How's THIS for a nice leisurely stroll down memory lane??  ZOOM-ZOOM!!!

Besides the running, I have been visiting friends and just enjoying myself lately.  Last Saturday, Jane Ann and I met for lunch and tomorrow, I'm going out to dinner with my writing friends to a Mediterranean restaurant downtown.  What else?  Well, they finally just filled Dave's position at work; he's only been dead SEVEN months now and they have been being SO picky about finding the "right fit."  It will be nice to stop shouldering the responsibility for the adult program so much now...

Oh my gosh - I have to cut this short and get to bed.......need my beauty rest or I might grow ugly crows feet.

It would appear that I am already developing those dreaded runners' feeties.  Better wish me luck out there...

Keep Movin'!!

~Annie~

"A Happy Ending"

Now is THIS a "happy ending" or what??    I have been running about (literally) with absolutely NO time to spend online messing with xanga, but I felt that a little "cut and paste job" of the following material was well worth 5 minutes of my time.  I received this email in my Inbox today - a response from a local church's priest regarding my harrowing pedestrian accident a few months ago (click to read about the whole experience HERE).  Just a quick and pleasant reminder that (a) our God knows no boundaries - denominational or otherwise.  Quite simply, we are ALL His children.....and (b) sometimes maybe.....just maybe....God might actually want you to have a "BIG MOUTH."    We should all be looking for opportunities to encourage one another in this life.  It's hard enough as it is....compliments cost nothing and can mean the world.  PAY ATTENTION out there!!!   God is often in the "small stuff."

Oh and this song is one of Malcolm's old favorites - and one of my NEW loves.  It reminds him of his homeland....it reminds me of the need to move graciously with the flow, trusting that all is working out just as it should - even during life's inexplicably cold and dark seasons:

Catch you all later......just as soon as I slow down enough to catch my breath.

Annie

Dear Ann,

What a wonderful tribute you sent me back in February. You will be happy to know that Michael was ordained to the priesthood by Bishop ***** on Saturday, June 21. He returned here to celebrate Mass this past Sunday and I used your letter in my sermon. What a glorious tribute you gave, but as I explained, this was not about Michael, it was about Jesus. We are excited that he has been assigned to stay with us here in Peters as our assistant priest. Thanks for writing me.

Fr. Sam ********, pastor

......and my original "Thank You" email to Michael's superior......

Greetings from a grateful sister in Christ!

I am writing to express my most sincere appreciation to one of your clergy/deacons, Mr. Michael *******.  This is my only known avenue of communicating with Michael at present, so I would greatly appreciate you taking care to pass this message along to him...

Late last night, I was involved in an automobile accident involving my car and a pedestrian who was attempting to cross a particularly dark section of a busy street.  Although I was found not to be at fault for the collision, the entire experience (the impact, investigation, aftermath - ALL of it) was unbelievably grueling - both physically and emotionally.  As I was running back to the woman laying in the street and dialing 9-1-1 on my cell phone, I said a prayer that God would help us.  That simple.  Just "HELP US."

Ever true to His promise of faithfulness, God delivered that help in the person of Michael Ruffalo who miraculously appeared on the scene within seconds of the accident and stayed by my side, assisting and offering comfort throughout the next half hour or so - all in bitter winter temperatures.  I cannot begin to thank him enough for the comfort of his lingering support and presence during one of the darkest nights of my entire life.  It was tremendously reassuring to have my faith and trust in God reaffirmed by His clear provision and faithfulness through one of His servants, who I believe was sovereignly placed at that location - and at that exact time - just for me.

As the humble recipient of Michael's impromptu ministry...ministry that is, when "no one was watching"...I can say with absolute conviction that you have a true man after God's own heart right there in your midst.  Encourage him, build him up, and pray for him as he seeks God's will for his life and ministry because when duty calls, he responds without hesitation.  Michael indeed has a servant's heart and all of the necessary gifts to shine the glory of God's redemptive plan into the lives of those in desperate need of hope . . . and he appears to do it whenever and wherever he goes.  I was certainly blessed by Michael just as I am certain that YOU as a parish are continually reaping a great harvest in and through his service.  Take care of him.  He is "the real deal."

And may God continue to bless you most wondrously, Michael!  Keep working hard, staying in step with whatever surprises God might have in store for you each day, and thank you SO much!!

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his ways."  -Psalm 37:23

In His Service,

Ann

"Labors of Love"

Hey all!  OOOOOH.....wowsahs.  Another week has flown by and I am off of my game when it comes to Xangaland.  I just have too much going on right now and the last thing that I want to do is sit online and type when there is such fun to be had "on the go!!"  I have also been making a valiant effort to stamp out my insomniac ways and thus, have adjusted my late-late-night/early morning bedtime in deference to Malcolm's coaching commands.    Hey, at least I'm trying to be an obedient little budding Olympian.    BTW - Malcolm objects to me using the term "orders" and "commands" when it comes to his ....err....coaching orders and commands.  He recently professed that he prefers that we call them *ahem*: "....helpful tips or suggestions that you HAVE to do" so that he does not feel as though he is being "too bossy."  Oh, the semantics.    And man, do I love these emoticons.    Obviously. 

Finally tonight, I intentionally took a break for some "Ann time," and I sure did need the solitude.  I treated myself to a 7 mile run about the neighborhood this evening and even tackled two MASSIVE hills for good measure.  I am hoping that hill work might make me faster.  Whenever I drive up these particular steep and lengthy hills, I always shake my head and wonder how grueling they would be if I were running.  Much to my surprise, they did not seem so terrible once I was actually out there attacking them back.    So tonight, little David beat the Goliath terrain and I am one happy camper - nearly 100% recovered from the marathon, I'd say!!  It's a good thing too because this Sunday marks the official start of my two-year training round with good ol' "Dr. M." 

All week I have been mentally bracing myself for whatever he is going to throw my way regarding the training schedule (I'm still in the dark on that so far, except I know that the weekly mileage will be slightly insane and take a lot of 'getting used to...').  If all goes REALLY well, the end result could be a 2:45 to 2:40 marathon finish for me.  Not bad, considering that an Olympic trials qualifying time is a mere 2:50 marathon (around 6 1/2 minute miles the whole way).  Um.....I guess I have my work cut out for me but Malcolm sincerely believes that I have the potential to reach that time IF I train VERY seriously for the next 24 months.  And he does mean SERIOUSLY....I'll tell you that much.

Last Sunday, we decided that since body fat will slow me down, I'm going to drop 10-15 pounds, which is a whole heck of a lot less weight to carry over longer distances.  That should help some.  Although I'm not at all overweight for the average person, if I'm trying to design my body for running, less is more when it comes to weight and speed so.....  So far, I've dropped 4.5 pounds this week.  I have been pretty hungry but it's getting better now.  I neglected protein most of this week (by accident), so I'm sitting here eating these chicken tenderloins that I marinated in Italian dressing.  They're not so bad.  I have no idea why I'm telling you all this either.  Oh well.  Here's to shrinking fat cells and shredding muscles.  Malcolm warned me that my thighs might grow A LOT from the muscle built during speed workouts....  He also continues to reassure me that once I am used to the tougher workouts that he is going to put me through, the hard days won't seem quite as bad anymore because I will have "Been There, Done That" before.  Let's hope so.

Anyway, Malcolm still might be just as crazy as me, but I figure that the opportunity to receive coaching from an elite athlete doesn't come along every day and hey....what do I have to lose by trying my hardest and seeing what happens?  I have no children, no husband, no physical problems that prevent me from training hard (Malcolm says I have "fresh legs" - injury-free he means....maybe not for long though ).....and if I'm going to spend any time at all running for fun, of course I want to become the very best runner I can be.  *shrugs*  More than anything, I'm just kind of curious to see what I can do since I've never tried to go fast before.  It would have helped if I had run track in high school or something, I guess.  I know that I really did progress to high mileage quickly when training myself for Cleveland, but that might just be because that's how I approach everything in general; I tend to push the envelope and I like to microwave everything....a bit impatient perhaps.  But hey, being stubborn and willing to suffer some pain got me from zero to 26.2 pretty quickly.  Looking back, I suppose it was only 3 weeks after I took my first running steps that I ran 10 miles....and only about 8 weeks into it, I ran 20 miles.  Strange thing is, it really didn't seem that awful or amazing to me at the time....

I started to realize how other people tend to view 26.2 miles when the Sunday before last, I met Malcolm in Borders bookstore to review potential running books for me to read.  We camped out on the floor for a couple of hours, just poring through the chapters and it was neat to hear Malcolm's stories about the authors and their little quirks/running styles.  Anyway, this lady came along who recognized Malcolm and started asking questions about which book she should buy.  She once had a scholarship for running (but had not run much for the past 10 years or so) and she was aiming to run her first half-marathon (13.1 miles) after training for .... A YEAR.    She kept talking about how she could never run a full marathon and was not at all receptive to Malcolm's advice about getting faster.  She only wanted to reach the finish line and was concerned about what she would need to EAT along the half-marathon route (FYI- there is no way that anyone NEEDS to eat while running that distance).  She truly had herself convinced that 13.1 miles was the insurmountable distance and I sat there internally confused, to be honest.  I'm nothing special and I ran 14 miles only 3 weeks into marathon training - and 6 weeks after feeling out-of-breath and half-dead upon completing just one mile.  Then Malcolm pointed out that I had just run Cleveland in a 4:13 time after having surgery over Christmas and not running much at all for months, if not years.....and he mentioned that I had not only never been offered a running scholarship, but I had never even run track at all in high school.  The woman just stared at me as if I were some freak of nature.  I'm not sure why, exactly.  I mean, it's MALCOLM who is the real (legal) "alien" between the two of us. 

Well honestly, this bookstore encounter got me thinking.  How many people out there could accomplish SO much more, but they put limits on themselves because someone told them what they could/could not do.  How the heck would "they" know??  The human body is amazingly adaptable and the human spirit/mind/will/heart is the most important part of long-distance running anyway.  I really believe that.  As we watched this lady walk away with her book purchase, Malcolm leaned over and, shaking his head, whispered: "You see that?  Her problem is that she doesn't believe in herself."  I decided right then and there that if God ever sees fit to make me fast....if I earn the right to be heard in running circles....then I will use whatever I get to accomplish as a tool to inspire and help people who have lost faith in themselves....those who have lost sight of their dreams.  In this way, I can view my running goals through more of a mission-oriented lens - a "labor of love," if you will.  I believe I would find great purpose, meaning, and joy through an approach to running that incorporates somewhat of a humanitarian venture along with the more obvious pursuit of personal adventure, challenge, and triumph.  I'm not sure exactly how this idea can/will flesh out over time, but I want anything that I achieve through running to be merely a vehicle through which God can move to further advance His purpose here on earth.....a purpose, no doubt, that moves across barriers between people through inspiration, faith, and unconditional (read: NOT performance-based) LOVE.  THAT, my friends, is TRUE grace in motion.

You see, when a person achieves in a physical sport, I believe that they naturally start to wonder what else they might be capable of pursuing in their personal realms.  The world meets no one halfway.  If you want something, you have to go out and take the right steps to make it happen.  There ARE no excuses.  We are responsible for exactly where we are in life - for better or for worse.  It's really that simple.  EVERYONE can get better......EVERYONE can improve - and usually beyond what they ever dreamed possible if they would only just tune out the discouraging voices and go for the goal with even an ounce of passion and desire.....  Again, there ARE no excuses for not living up to one's full potential, whether that means that you can walk one mile in a week......or that you can run 26.2 miles at a 5-minute mile pace!!!  All that matters is that you gave it 100% of your best effort....and that you surrounded yourself with the right people who were capable of - and interested in - bringing out the best you had to offer on any given day.....  Malcolm quoted Henry Ford the other day: "Whether you believe you can or believe you can't, you're probably right!"  After all, some of the greatest men and women have been saddled with disabilities and all kinds of adversity, but have managed to overcome and arise victorious from the ashes.  Kind of reminds me of this passage (author unknown) about the power of mind over matter:

"Cripple him, and you have a Sir Walter Scott.  Lock him in a prison cell, and you have a John Bunyan.  Bury him in the snows of Valley Forge, and you have a George Washington.  Raise him in abject poverty, and you have an Abraham Lincoln.  Strike him down with infantile paralysis, and he becomes a Franklin D. Roosevelt.  Burn him so severely that the doctors say he will never walk again, and you have a Glenn Cunningham, who set a world's record in 1934 for running a mile in 4 minutes 6.7 seconds.  Deafen a genius composer, and you have a Ludwig van Beethoven.  Have him or her born black in a society filled with racial discrimination, and you have a Booker T. Washington, a Harriet Tubman, or a George Washington Carver.  Make him the first child to survive in a poor Italian family of eighteen children, and you have an Enrico Caruso.  Have him born of parents who survived a Nazi concentration camp, paralyze him from the waist down when he is four, and you have an incomparable concert violinist, Itzhak Perlman.  Call him a slow learner, "retarded", and write him off as ineducable, and you have an Albert Einstein."

See what I mean??  So why the excuses again??  Okay, I'll get off of my soapbox now.  I just believe in people and see potential everywhere I look.  And I do mean, EVERYWHERE (with the exception of a very....shall we say...."interesting"  date last Friday night....trust me....there ARE no words.....).

Alrighty.....so then after the Borders episode, Malcolm and I visited local stores just for the heck of it and we were all about the free food samples.  Some guy in the pie store offered to feed us free samples, but we politely declined and proceeded on a little aimless walking tour of the neighborhood.  We eventually ended up on a tour of Giant Eagle (it's remodeled and truly amazing, I'm not kidding; forgive me - I get excited about grocery stores, seriously) and by then, all discretion had flown out the window.  We indulged in every single sample that they were offering that day and (in a very atypical English demeanor) Malcolm loudly and repeatedly announced for the world to hear that I went back for THREE helpings of the peanut brittle (I love that stuff).  I don't embarrass easily at all, but he got me on that one.    I also bought some Earl Grey teabags and spent quite a lot of time practicing my new British accent while reading food labels.  I'm getting a lot better!!! and Malcolm said that he might dub me an "honorary Brit," based on my wit and "dry sense of humor" alone.  Heh.  Anyway, then we explored the international aisle for "British" treats before walking for miles to grab a (real) bite to eat.  I'm not sure, but I think I probably burned off most of my first ever British food purchase - this "Yorkie" chocolate bar.  Malcolm said that I just HAD to get it because it says right there on the label: "It's NOT for girls."  He obviously is learning quickly about the reverse psychology and inner workings of my brain....  Check out this import!!!  It had raisins embedded in the chocolate, for extra calorie content.  Heh.

After dinner, Malcolm and I watched the movie, Pay It Forward, and speculated about how we are going to transform the world through kindness one of these days.  I think that we pretty much nailed down a plan to achieve world peace in about 50 minutes flat.    Hey, great minds think alike!!  heehee!!  Oh alright, alright.....so enough about Malcolm for now.  And for those of you who have inquired, NO....we're not an "item."  He is an awesome FRIEND and one that I hope to have in my life for a long, long time.  I can't even begin to tell you what a quality, respectful, and genuinely decent human being the man truly is, so I won't even try.  All the better that we just happen to have very similar personalities (with the exception of me being MUCH more outgoing/less reserved) and that we share SO many common interests!  It's a loooooong road ahead and it sure does help if the company is great!!

Moving on to the rest of the week before last.  Welps, Jen (coworker) turned the big 3-0, so Rob and I deviously blew up about 40 balloons (we almost passed out together; I'm serious), decorated her office space, bought her a gift card and....best of all - Rob BAKED A CAKE for her with the help of his little girls.  Talk about a domestic streak in a guy!!  Rob earned major points for that "labor of love" with the ladies in the office.  He even decorated it all by himself.  Way to go, Rob!!!  It was great to see Jen so happy as she is such a deserving and grateful gal....  I was thinking the other day about how even when folks are doing the "right things," looking for the motivation underlying the actions is SO important when trying to discern character.  People seem to be motivated by either (a) FEAR, or (b) LOVE.  Those who are motivated by fear tend to be the self-centered, always reacting/acting based on how the environment needs to be manipulated in order to carefully protect him/herself.  Those who are motivated by love tend to be other-centered, drawing satisfaction, peace, and energy to themselves almost effortlessly via generous and self-sacrificial service/stewardship.  I have observed Jen for some time now, and the girl is most definitely motivated to give more out of genuine love for others than out of fear of what will happen to herself if she doesn't give....  No one can fake it for that long across the board.  Her heart is as pure as gold and as such, that heart of hers deserves just about everything it desires....at least in my book.  Good thing she's not my daughter - I'd spoil her rotten. 

Guess what?  I spoke with a doctor today at work and his name was (no joke):  "Dr. Pepper."  I resisted the urge to ask if he was "Diet" or.....or......"Regular" (could be seriously misinterpreted!! think about it).

As for other areas of my world, I'm stretched far too thin and I want to try too many things.  A couple of Tuesdays ago, I stopped off to practice my shooting again.  I've been too busy with other priorities to get out there regularly and as a result, my aim has suffered.  Sad, but true.  Ah well.  I just have too many interests at present.  Now I'm getting interested in photography classes (I think I would love it and might even have some natural talent in that area) but time/finances are annoying hindrances lately.  Skydiving was fun while it lasted and I have absolutely NO regrets about those days (those memories will be cherished for a lifetime), but I just can't afford to do it anymore - in more ways than one......  Ah!!  Sidenote: did you know that you are supposed to "ARCH!!!!" forward when you are busting through the finish line in a race??  Maybe all of that arching practice for skydiving will come in handy one of these days...    Funny how things work out.

Well, I suppose that there really is a time, season, and purpose for everything.  When things start to draw to a natural close, I have learned to avoid thrashing around and fighting it.  Most things just simply aren't that important and I can think of very few things that truly "define me," so I'm going with the flow and living it one day at a time (I sound like a recovery poster).  Into a river, one cannot step twice.  I'm learning to gracefully surrender without clinging unnaturally to the past.....  I'm also discovering that the future is never certain, no matter how much we prefer to believe that it is.  The present is all that we really have and with each breath that I take, I hope to suck every drop of life out of it that I can hold in this temporal frame.  I don't have everything I want, but I truly do have everything I need....and Life Is Good!! 

This approach/satisfaction - with things as they are/as they come - has gradually permeated many other areas of my existence, including my thoughts about marriage and family.  Quite simply, I want to become an excellent wife and mother one day.  Always have dreamed of that and of nurturing/tending to a family with a husband who is easily adored.  I want my family unit to bring glory to God and I pray that it would speak to His grace in redeeming broken, imperfect lives.  Nevertheless, I have really started to enjoy my life AS IT IS, right now.  I'm kind of appreciating the single life and honestly, the grass is NOT usually greener on the other side......  In a nutshell, I am highly skeptical of dating and while I am passively "looking" all of the time, I just can't see myself allowing some guy to waltz in and mess up the happy/simple life that I have now built for myself.  If he happens to be the "right" guy.....like the "Husband of the Century" or something....well, then that's a whole other story. 

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~Lao Tzu~

Nevertheless, I will not settle or cling to anything - or anyone, for that matter - if I sense that it/he is less than God's best for Ann's life.  Too many people rush into things out of (you got it!!) FEAR.....but they convince themselves that they are motivated by (right again) LOVE.  Once the commitment is made, they may start to suspect the truth, but recognition of that reality would be so painful/awful, that they cannot allow themselves to look their situations dead in the face....so they deny that what is happening around them each day in their homes is so terrible....just so that they can make it one more day living in a home that seethes fear, hurt, loneliness, and the black cloud of remorse.  Only when one has a taste of TRUE love...of genuine compassion, kindness, and generosity....only then does one remember (or maybe discover for the first time ever!) what he/she has been missing all along.  Eh, sometimes ignorance is bliss.  But I personally wouldn't want to live there for a day longer than I have already in this crazy life.    *shrugs*

"The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud
is more painful than the risk it takes to blossom.
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
~Anais Nin~

Okay, okay....just one last remark about a conversation I was having with Malcolm while we were out WALKING last weekend.  It was just way too hot to run - 92 degrees - so we got soft, opting to simply tour an Indian food market, thus consuming more calories on the road than we even burned (Indian Samosas (sp?) and Bourbon biscuits - like chocolate cookies)!  Well, we ended up leisurely exploring the neighborhood parks, watching the little toddlers play in fountains, and charting potential neighborhood running routes for my training days.  At one point, Malcolm had commented about how much he was already enjoying/looking forward to coaching me because of "....your enthusiasm....your passion for running.....seeing that big smile of yours..."   He then informed me that I need to get out and "play" more often because it seemed as though it had been a long time since I had reveled in just being a "Big Kid at heart."    I agreed.  Then he suggested that I make a list of all of the simple things in life that bring me joy and make me laugh.....and then quit procrastinating.....just go out and do them!!  I think that visiting an amusement park will be at the very top of my list.  I absolutely LOVE the parks and haven't been to one in years.  I also want to build sandcastles, get buried up to my neck in sand at the beach, and go swimming with the Dolphins (Malcolm has done that....and also accidentally with the SHARKS once too!!!  BIG uh-oh....but he lived, obviously).  I also should watch more sunsets and do some stargazing before long.  I need to give more thought to my list, but I love the concept.  What would you do to entertain that "inner child" of yours??  Think about it.  Let's see....well, I already eat ice cream everyday and Malcolm is eyeing that habit with concern, so maybe some of these others will be both "kid-at-heart-friendly" AND "serious-runner-approved."  Keep your fingers crossed!!

Don't you just love how I think outloud into my website entries?? I just figure that whatever is on my heart is good for sharing....never know why it's there or how/who it might impact if given a voice....  Hey, we only keep whatever we give away.....and we only truly give whenever we purely - LOVE.  That much I do know.

Oh yes...  and before I forget.  I simply must preserve this little guy for posterity.  My camera broke, so I can only take fuzzy camera phone shots, but here it is in all of its glory -- my middle left toenail......minus the middle left toe!!!    Oooh.  That's right, my friends!!!  It finally fell right off of my toe and the right middle toenail is soon to follow!  You can see in the photo that it is still painted pink!  I am saving the toenail in a ziploc bag with all of my other marathoning tokens since after all, I did in fact, "wear it" during the Cleveland marathon...

Malcolm and I are going to start our scrapbooking soon, so I offered to give him my right toenail whenever it falls off for his scrapbook.  I mean, I only needed ONE.  I can't figure out why exactly, but he doesn't seem to be very interested in owning my tired toenail.  I even told him that I can grow another - no problem - but he just won't take it off of my hands (or more accurately perhaps...off of my FOOT....hahahhaha).  *sigh*  I guess he doesn't realize that it might be worth millions one day.  His loss.  Some people are just so.....ODD.    He didn't even seem to know if there was an official "Toenail Fairy" for runners, you know - like the "Tooth Fairy" for kids??  Why an elite distance runner wouldn't know these things is beyond me....  Don't worry though - I'm looking into it.  If there isn't already an official "Toenail Fairy," I'm going straight to the powers that be and I plan to fight it tooth and (toe)nail!!!  GRRRRRR................    C'mon.  Where's the LOVE????

Aim High...Work Hard...Play Harder...

Love Shamelessly!!!

 ~Ann~

"Waiting at the Wishing Well"

Well, as they say, sometimes "good things come to those who wait," and surely "waiting" has been a key theme in my life for about the past four weeks.  About a month ago now, I started tapering my mileage down as I waited for the BIG RACE day to arrive!  I am genuinely surprised to realize that my shining marathon moment is now almost two weeks old!  Time has been flying but since I am still in "recovery mode" and not allowed to do much running at all, I've had a lot of time to reflect on how I've changed and grown during these past few months of training.....AND to consider where I'm heading in the months ahead.  It has been a bit of a let down, this "post-marathon blues" season - and I have quite sharply felt the absence of that massive goal looming just ahead - but I truly needed the physical and emotional break from running so intently....  Now I'm just waiting to see what is in store next for WickeDarling.  The horizon does look bright even though some clouds are lingering...

After the marathon, I ended up returning to work a day later than planned due to the fact that my body was in such overdrive that I was unable to sleep for an entire 2 days/nights following the race.  On Tuesday morning, I gingerly hobbled into the shower to get ready for work after being completely wired and awake for yet another night and.....oooooh.  That's when the cumulative effect of it all really hit me.  I could barely keep my eyes open and realized that I was mentally foggy again as I accidentally began lathering up my face and body with shampoo, obviously thinking that I had a bar of soap in hand.    I called off work and pretty much crashed into an unconscious heap for 14 hours.  I woke up sweaty, thirsty, hungry and confused about what day it was.

Malcolm called me to check in shortly thereafter and took it upon himself to explain that it can take someone whose body is new to marathoning up to a month to fully recover from all of the micro-muscle tears and internal system stress that a distance like that inflicts.  He advised me to go ahead and drain the blisters on my feet (he always does) but to do so with something sterile, using peroxide to keep them from becoming infected.  He also told me about the time when Nike customized a pair of running shoes for him and he had to drop out of the marathon when he wore them because the entire sole of his foot turned into a massive blister.  When they put him into the ambulance, he kept telling them not to remove the shoe....but they did anyway, unaware of what was going on inside.  As they tore the shoe from his foot, they took all of the skin off of the bottom of his foot along with the unfortunate shoe itself....and blood went everywhere.  Needless to say, I was no longer feeling sorry for my feet and their 4 puny blisters.    I guess that all pain and distress is relative!  Even so, I have been feeling extremely fatigued and achy for the past couple of weeks.  I tire very quickly and seem out of breath often.

I loved going back to work on Wednesday though....  My coworkers are awesome and they had decorated my office with pink streamers and even created a makeshift "finish line" using the streamers and two armchairs.  They wanted to watch me dart through at least A finish line, if not the Cleveland one, so I gladly obliged with great gusto.  They also bought me a little pink plant (it's already dead - I watered it well but apparently it didn't have enough sunlight, oops ) and a helium "Congratulations!!" balloon.  Jen had printed out all of my splits/stats on pink paper and everyone signed it, inserting this into a pretty greeting card.  They are the best!  I also allowed one of my patients who was graduating from the program to wear my medal all throughout group and I was delighted to learn that they had behaved themselves for the most part while I was out of the office on Monday, still recovering in Cleveland....  All's well that ends well...

Malcolm spent a lot of time during that first post-marathon week helping me select/order a display frame that will feature: my finishing time plaque, my bib/# (he is going to autograph my bib too - right next to Bill Rodger's message/signature - although when Malcolm looked at it, he good-naturedly complained that "Bill always hogs the good writing space..."), my finishing medal, and a 5x7" photo of me running the race.  Malcolm's favorite photo is this one below, shot around mile 5 or so.  Malcolm prefers it in black and white and for some reason, just feels that this candid shot really captures "YOU" even though I'm looking off and away from the camera.  I'm not sure that this will be the one that we put into the official frame with the medal though; I prefer color and one that shows my entire racing outfit, of course.    Anyway, Malcolm keeps teasing me: "Your eyebrows look like Nike swooshes, Annie!!" (and I guess that they kind of do....hey, might come in handy for some lucrative endorsement deal one of these days....)

On Saturday, Malcolm dropped over after he was finished at work and he had printed out some of the photos in hard copy for me to review.  He told me not to worry about not running all week; my body had been really protesting and my legs ached just sitting down for long periods of time.  He advised that I run for 2 or 3 miles on Monday or Tuesday to help my body pump the lactic acid out of my legs though.  I finally felt somewhat human on Tuesday, so I ran for 3 miles.  EVERYTHING hurt on that first mile and I could barely limp along.  It took me 13 minutes to complete that mile.  By mile 3, I ran a 9:45 and felt better.  Then I walked for an hour but even the walking left me drained.  I actually almost didn't complete the last walking mile, feeling as though my legs were shot.  I guess that this race took more out of me than I realized.  Now I know why Malcolm shook his head and said that I wouldn't be doing any speedwork at all for at least 2-3 weeks after the marathon.  I had no idea what I was going to be experiencing in the aftermath of the race.  I was medicated and didn't walk more than a few steps for over a week after the last one.....Oooooh.

Anyway, after we reviewed photos, Malcolm and I headed over for a late night dinner at Houlihans, where I had just eaten with Barb the night before.  I am addicted to the steak and lettuce wedge salad there; I ordered it both times.  Malcolm and I discussed various local races that I can start trying out during the rest of this year and since he has run most of the courses, he helped me decide which ones would be best to start out.  He said that he is hopeful that I will be able to run a Boston qualifying time in Columbus by October if I train seriously and watch my nutrition/sleeping habits. but that just because I qualify for Boston, doesn't mean that I HAVE to run it in April 2009.  He said that if I qualify once, I can qualify in the next marathon too (you have to run Boston within something like a 18 months after your qualifying time or they won't allow you to register for it) and then just run Boston whenever I want.  I also need to save up for travel expenses, etc.

Part of the reason that I decided to hold on Boston in 2009 is because they are resurrecting the Pittsburgh marathon on May 3rd, 2009 and I wouldn't be able to run both (too close together).  I have an old debt to settle with the Pittsburgh course , and 2009 will be the 10-year anniversary of when it almost put me 6-feet under.  Malcolm said (and I agree), that I just HAVE to show up and kick its butt back next year.  :)  He is also likely going to race it and he promised to train me throughout the winter toward a good finishing time.  Besides, the race director called Malcolm last week and asked him to help with planning/promoting/racing or pacing (he might take out the pace group that I'd be running so that he can be there in person during this race, at least) the Pittsburgh Marathon next year and if he is going to be that involved with it, then of course, I'll want to be there and run it too...

On Sunday, I went to church and did some grocery shopping as well.  It was Memorial Day weekend, and Malcolm was hoping to race a 10k on Monday morning but his knee was acting up again.  Consequently, he decided to call the race director and opt out at the last minute.  He was pretty bummed about that so I told him that he could come over and eat pizza/watch a movie with me while my legs were still recovering.  He is a pretty easy person to be around and I appreciate the company for a change.    He took me up on the offer and also made sure to bring along a hammer??  When he arrived, he made a beeline for my balcony, which he had noted was riddled with nails that were working themselves loose from the wood.  He proceeded to remedy the situation, explaining that if he is going to be coaching me, then I can't be accidentally driving nails through my running feet due to lack of handyman skills.    I thanked him with my usual payment - one giant-sized, 1/2 pound Symphony milk chocolate bar (they never make it all the way home with him in the car).

Later in the week, I began having problems with my sleeping schedule and made the mistake of emailing Malcolm about a race . . . at 4 AM in the morning.  When he received it the next day, this prompted both a return email AND a phone message in which Malcolm pretty much read me the riot act about my sleeping habits and insomnia.  His exact words were that I had better "get your behind to bed at a decent hour tonight....how can I coach you if you are all beat up all the time????.......you should draw a warm bath, light some candles, and soak for at least 30 minutes......then make your way straight to the bedroom and turn out the lights.....Remember, I am THE BOSS of running......I have spoken...."    He was joking, but he also clearly wasn't.  I told my coworker Rob that I had just received my first serious lecture from my adopted "coach" by getting busted with another late-night email and Rob responded, "Well good, maybe you'll listen to him because you never listen to me on that!!!"  Gee, maybe I AM a little hard-headed....

Sooooo......  I called Malcolm back and promised that I would start taking better care of myself and try to keep my body in the best condition that I could for training.  He seemed to be satisfied with that, but also warned me that I would need to be watching my nutrition more closely as well - and that when he starts putting me on the track for speed workouts, I'll notice that my body will develop muscles differently and may require different nutrition.  He told me to start taking a multiple vitamin now and suggested that I may need to watch my sugar consumption more closely.  In addition to all of this, Malcolm advised that I carry a water bottle with me everywhere and hydrate throughout the day until it becomes habitual.  That's what he does, after all.....

It's kind of amusing - I'm all about imitating whatever works for Malcolm and he knows it/teases me.  In fact, he calls me "Mini-me" since his initials are "M.E." and I'm the mini-version of him.  I tell him that I may never become much more than a snail on the race course, but he insists that if I'll give him 2 solid years of hard work training and gaining racing experience, that he thinks he can get me to run a sub-3 hour marathon.  That seems impossible to me and while I want to learn to run better/improve my times, I really hope that he doesn't waste his time on me and end up feeling disappointed at the end.  *shrugs*  I mean, the girl who WON the Cleveland marathon this year ran a 3:07....  He told me not to worry about times and that we'll just see what starts to happen for me as I work a quality training program.  Ummmmm.....but let me just clarify - by "quality," he is talking a 60 to 70 mile per week training program with only one rest day as opposed to my past training program for Cleveland which averaged around 35 miles/week with 2 rest days.    He is proposing that I run double the mileage I have been and at greater intensities, incorporating speedwork and all kinds of interval training - plus some light weight lifting.  Malcolm also wants me to nix my late night workouts and train in the AM.  This will be a huge time and energy commitment but I really am interested in this racing scene and the guy is a world class athlete....and he seems to believe that I won't be wasting his time....  I dunno.  He doesn't seem to be promising me the moon or anything here though.  He keeps shaking his head and telling me (when I joke about running faster than his 2:11 marathon record) that "....there are limits, Annie....everyone has them......"  and that a 2:11 is probably not so realistic for me.  The fastest ever marathon run by a woman (Paula Radcliffe) is a 2:15, and he doesn't think that is realistic either (I wholeheartedly agree!!).    BUT he thinks that a 2:45 or so may be within reach if my body responds to the training, as he supposedly has a "hunch" it will....  He tells me that I ran "exceptionally well" in Cleveland, particularly given my psychological state going into it and considering the training program that I worked (he calls mine to date, "minimal," and just enough to "get you to the finish line...and not much more than that...").  We shall see what he and I can do if we really set our minds to it....  I believe that it was Norman Vincent Peale who once said, "Throw your heart over the bar and your body will follow."    I guess that we all have to start somewhere and Malcolm says that no matter what I achieve or don't achieve, I'll "have fun" doing it and that I have nothing to lose by trying....  He pointed out that "you might surprise yourself" and smiled, saying that he believes that "you have it in you..."....um, whatever "IT" is. 

Well, considering what a huge commitment signing on for Malcolm's kind of coaching would apparently be, my downstairs neighbor, Barb, invited him over for Chinese food and some conversa