So it only took me what, 9 weeks, to post something this year?

Life is hard, then you die. Happy 2014, Xanga friends!

hmmmm…

President’s Day.  Huh.  In the “better late than never” department, the movie “Lincoln” (which I still haven’t seen) inspired Mississippi to finalize it’s official vote against slavery.  Apparently, the state went through all the appropriate legislative hoops way back in the 1990s (seriously) but forgot to notify Congress or something.  Wow.  “Oopsie!  Slipped our minds, sorry.”  Now all the Kentucky legislators that didn’t get around to it until the ’70s can breathe a sigh of relief.  It’s never good to be the last one.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-mississippi-ratifies-slavery-amendment-20130218,0,7978766.story

I enjoyed not going to work today.  Satisfying personal day, winding down…

PHOTO OF THE WEEK

For what it’s worth, there’s a giant arrow (or 3) above.
CREDIT:  taken by wildcane near Sequoia Natl. Park

A Poem for Heart Day

I stood in line for quite some time
a Valentine to find
But sadly mine gets lost in rhyme
And leaves me in a bind
till turpentine cleans up my grime
so I--oh, nevermind.
I might keep tryin' till I pass my prime,
but I'm just a tad behind.

It is sadly amazing how few people really listen any more.  Self-absorption is a growing social crisis.

Listening is arguably the most important aspect of communication, and communication is arguably the most important aspect of relationships, and relationships are arguably the most important aspect of life.  To me, at least.  You?

I recently bought several books for the first time in many, many months.  I read online, read magazines, and borrow from the local library regularly, but I quit buying books quite a while ago.  Not sure why I decided to start the new year buying, but I did.  I’m glad I did, too.

One book I’m reading and enjoying is here:

http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Thousand-Ways-Listen-Staying/dp/145167466X

The author’s title comes from the discovery that humans use approximately 7,000 languages–and that if there are 7,000 languages (ways to speak), there must be 7,000 ways to listen.  I found that perspective intriguing enough to buy the book, which has not disappointed.  It’s even my favorite color, blue.

I won’t ask you for 7,000 ways to listen, but I will ask you to name 7 ways that you listen.  People and situations differ; one way to listen is not nearly enough to manage relationships effectively.  Here are 7 ways I listen:

1. Stop doing other things; focus on the person communicating (whether in person, phone, chat, email, text, etc.)
2. Acknowledge/call attention to the fact that I am focused on the person communicating
3. Engage–make eye contact if possible, watch for non-verbal indicators of emotion, stress, additional information, etc.
4. State sympathy/understanding of anything challenging that has been expressed.
5. Rephrase anything confusing or obviously important to confirm understanding.
6. Ask questions to clarify statements or get additional information.
7. Affirm the value of the person and the time spent communicating so others will want to do so again.

“Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how.  The moment you know how, you begin to die a little.  The artist never entirely knows.  We guess.  We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.”

-Agnes de Mille

I finally managed to get back into Xanga, blowing out *cough cough* some of the dust.  If anyone remembers me, I’ll be glad to reconnect.  Otherwise, I’ll look around for some new kindred spirits with whom to interact.

Testing, testing, 1 2 3…