wildflowerwendy's Xanga

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:09:44 GMT

Going good here. Lucy is getting so big! We're getting in more of a rythem with each other I think. Caleb's doing pretty well too. Not too many spankings for whopping on her but it happens. When she cries he says "Lucy cwy," and acts concerned. She went to bed last night at 9:30 ish and I'm really hoping that continues. She woke up more often then but.. we're getting there. We'll be moving into our house soon and I want these kids on the same sleeping schedule so I'll be able to sleep too. Wes got a good start on installing tile last night and when it's done then it's time. I'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. It's been so good living here with Mom and Dad and Jeff and Vika!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 21:53:23 GMT

Caleb has been really sweet with Lucy today. First, he was really really good while Vika and I tried to go garage saling. We didn't have a good garage sale day but I was so proud of him for doing so well being in the car so much. Lucy came too and slept pretty much the whole time. When we got home I was changing Lucy's diaper and had her lying there airing out for a bit. Caleb crawled up on the bed to see what was going on and saw that I had a little diaper cream on my finger tip, ready to apply. He took my finger and started putting it on her, using my finger! It was so sweet, seemed like he truly cared about her. I said, "You love Lucy don't you?" And I got him to say, "I love you, Lucy." It was so so precious!! Then later he wanted to help with her bath. I had her in a baby tub on the kitchen table and was pouring water over her with a cup and Caleb helped with that too, gently pouring water on her tummy. Then I let him brush her hair and he did really well with that too. He still has his rough moments but we're making progress and I think he truly does care for her- just doesn't understand why she can't play yet. Yesterday she was in her bouncy seat and he came up and gave her a car and rocked her, saying, "rock her, rock her..."
We had a good bedtime tonight too. I got Lucy to bed then read books with Caleb. I'm trying to keep fresh books from the library on hand to keep things more interesting. We've been reading this new version of "The Little Engine that Could" , well really the same ol' story but just with new pictures. He loves that book, both versions. So tonight we read and he even cuddled up to me. Usually I'm just trying to keep him on the same bed while I read. I showed him my belly, how it's changed and how strange it feels right now and all and... after playing with the loose skin he kissed it!! Oh the sweet acceptance of a child.

Lucy's doing great. She likes to be held a lot and likes to nurse to sleep or at least be held to fall asleep. We tried to make sure Caleb could fall asleep on his own and he did great with that and I'd like for Lucy to also but right now I'm just so thankful that she doesn't cry much that I can't complain about having to comfort her to sleep. There's time to learn! It works out pretty well now in this house with so many people helping but when we move into our house it will be tricky to get anything done since she likes to be held whenever she's not asleep. Hopefully she can get used to chilling on her own. She likes the swing pretty well.

Okay, I hope I haven't bored you too much. I just want to write as much as I can during these precious moments so that I can remember them later. I don't even have a baby book for Lucy!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:40:52 GMT

Hiya!! Just wanted to update and say that things are going much much better. That night after my really hard day, Lucy slept really well and I took her to church the next morning. I got worn out but we had a good day and she's been sleeping pretty well at night since then. I'm SO thankful. There's nothing worse than long nights awake with a baby when you're desperate for sleep. I think just the fact that she sleeps well is enough to make everything be okay!! Sure helps me keep my sanity. She sleeps a lot during the day too and really doesn't cry much at all. I still feel really tense when she does, just a new mom thing I guess. I've been getting out and about with her and that feels really good, like things are just normal. We spent a long time at the mall yesterday, registering at Target for her baby shower (if you haven't received an invitation, it's July 5th at 10 am and you're welcome to come if you're a girl!), and exchanging a few items. Caleb went with my mom to Meijer. Then today we went to a breakfast for Michelle and Lindsay, kinda a meet the missionary thing. Mom and Vika went too and Caleb. And then we went to the library. I love having fresh books to read with Caleb. Makes it much more interesting for us both. So I'm feeling good about things. Praise the Lord!!

However.. things can still get pretty hairy. For instance I just had to take a long break from writing this to:
- give Caleb an emergency bath because he had some kind of nasty leaky poo
- change all the bedding on my bed because he then peed on it, right on wes's pillow and Lucy had spit up on it while we (Vika and I) were bathing Caleb
- rescue Lucy from Caleb who pounced on her, roughhousing near her
- chase down Caleb and put his diaper back on because he took it off. great, he knows how to do that now!
- then I gave Lucy a bath too.

Thankfully my Dad took Caleb to play and Vika helped me and my mom is making dinner. This household works out great!! What will I ever do when we move into our house and it's just lil' ol' me with two kids? Well, that's how most moms do it so I guess it's time for me to toughen up and experience true motherhood!! I pray that I will walk closely with Jesus and receive from Him everything I need each day to love and serve and teach and train and care for my precious little children. I'm realizing more and more that life cannot be about me, but I have to be living to serve these little guys! Man, two kids. And I still feel like the same person I always was! Funny how that is.

I don't remember how to get rid of my little ticker. Does anyone know how? Also, I still don't know how to post pics so please be patient. I hope to get familiar with the program and get them all organized this summer and start posting. Wes had to do the one I posted the other day and it even took him a while to figure it out.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 21:40:29 GMT

We did it!! We had a little girl, Lucy Acacia. Lucy is after my beloved grandma, Gladys Lucille. Acacia is the wood in the Bible and without all the details, basically represents the cross. She's really sweet and beautiful. She was born in the water and everything was fast and wonderful. Didn't feel wonderful at the time, not at all, but it couldn't have gone better. Unless maybe I had gotten to the tub sooner. She was born 45 minutes after I got in the tub, with less than 10 minutes of pushing. Big big difference from Caleb's birth story.

The last couple days have been pretty hard though. I haven't been able to sleep much at all at night because she's nursing so much, just non stop at night. Tonight I'm planning to sleep in the recliner so she can eat and I can sleep. But what's been even harder is not getting time with Caleb. We've been becoming so close recently and I enjoy him so much and I'm so worried about him feeling like she's replaced him and being sad that I can't spend time with him. In prep for her coming, I always made it sound like a wonderful thing and didn't tell him much about how much of my time she would take up. I guess I forgot myself what it was like. He's doing pretty well but one time he tugged on her in my lap and said, "No!" like he wanted her off so he could be there. Today I was trying to hold her and have him in the chair with me too and we were sharing some crackers. I said something about Lucy needing to eat and he offered her a cracker. It was so sweet. She even held it in her hand for a second but then I gave it back to Caleb and explained that she's not big enough to eat crackers yet and he just broke down crying and so did I. I'd already been crying a lot anyway (you know lack of sleep, post partum hormones and the wear of having to be available to a baby ALL the time) but this just broke my heart. I could totally relate to how he felt. He was reaching out, trying to do something nice for someone that he was feeling threatened by, moving in on his territory, and it was rejected. I know I'm emotional right now but I've been choking back tears about it all day. At least I did get to give him his bath this evening and spend some time reading with him and stuff. And I know things will get better but these first few days with a new baby are so hard! Not to mention the physical pain. So be praying for us!! For sleep and time with Caleb, and healing, and to rest in Jesus and enjoy these precious moments.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:32:42 GMT

I went today to the doctor to get the tests done that you have to get done when you're overdue so they'll let you keep waiting. I had to see a doctor instead of my usual midwife. First I had an ultrasound to measure the fluid and I got to see the baby's sweet little face. I love that!! Turns out my fluid levels are high so the doctor insisted I get induced today. I insisted I talk with my midwife first and he said, "Yes yes of course, I will talk with her and tell her my plan." So manipulative and controlling!! He called my midwife, Pat, and told me that she agreed with him. So he sent me over to triage where I thought Pat would be but it turned out to be another midwife named Pat. Well she was awesome, totally cool and supportive of homebirths, and natural childbirth and all that, and I don't know where he got the idea that she agreed with him. Maybe she just said to have me come over there and he twisted it how he wanted. So more testing. She did everything she could to get the test to show the criteria it had to for her to be able to let me come home and it worked out!! I'm so thankful!! It was such a terrible feeling to be being forced into something I really didn't want to do and not to really know for sure what's right and if it truly needed to be done or not. I was so so thankful for this second Pat and her support and encouragement. So I still have to go back Wednesday for more testing, to make sure the baby's getting the nourishment it needs and all. I hope I have the baby before then. Caleb was two weeks overdue on a Wednesday and I started labor the day before that, on Tuesday. This baby will be two weeks over on this Wednesday and tomorrow is Tuesday, so maybe...just maybe it will be tomorrow! Only I hope it doesn't take til Thursday morning like it did last time. I'm still having contractions but nothing consistent so I'm just praying for it to pick up on it's own. Thanks for praying for me too!!

When I got home from the hospital, Caleb came running to the door saying, "Baby!! Baby!! Baby!!" He had been with Vika, who told him I might be having the baby. Seems like he really does understand. I hope it doesn't confuse him that I came home without the baby.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:00:06 GMT

I guess I really should post. I haven't been keeping up at all. So I'm one week past my due date now. (You know that number that we make a guess about?) Anyway, looks this baby is following "it's" big brothers example. I won't be surprised if it's another whole week still. I just hope I won't have to induce. I want a nice natural water birth.

Things are going well with the house. We're still not living there but it's really shaping up and starting to look like a home. At least on the inside. We got a bit set back by lots of plumbing work in the beginning and more recently we had a tree fall through our roof and ceiling. But we're getting very close to moving in. We need to finish the kitchen (rearranging cabinets, painting, and tiling) and fix the ceiling in the living room, then we can move in. Then there will still be plenty more work to do but that's okay, we'll do it little by little.

Camp has started and Wes has been spending very long days, going to camp early and staying long and then working on the house in the evenings. I don't know how he holds up. We're really looking forward to having more time together when we get moved in to the house.

Caleb is wonderful. I enjoy him so much. I'm not sure why but he's developed more of an attachment to me recently and is more affectionate. It's sweet. And he seems to understand about the baby as much as a two year old can. He knows where it is and recognizes babies in public and such. One day Wes carried in the baby carrier and Caleb's eyes got huge and he said in amazement, "BABY???" and ran up to look in. So I guess he understands that it's for the baby. Usually when he sees babies they're in one of those so I guess it makes sense. Today he was looking at a book that shows cartoon drawings of a bunch of mommies and it shows the babies inside them and Caleb was staring at it and I was explaining how the baby will come out of my tummy and live with us and he just nodded like he understands and accepts it. It will be so sweet to see his reaction when he sees the baby for the first time. He's usually pretty amazed by them.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 21:41:16 GMT

We actually have our own house! And yard! We've been able to spend a lot of time there the last three days and the weather has been so amazing and perfect. I've mostly been working in the yard, raking up leaves and picking up sticks. It's such a different feeling to do things in my very own yard. Wow, such a blessing from God! So far we've only dreamed of having a yard. Caleb has been running around enjoying the yard, and also running in and out of the house. He totally loves it there. Wes and his dad have been working on the plumbing. There's been some problems but no huge damage to the house itself. Mostly lots of leaks in the utility room. The super nice water softener that was there is busted and so is the water heater. Bummer but, again, no huge structural damage. It's been a pain not to have any water the last few days, no bathroom etc, but they're getting very close to getting it all fixed. Then I'll start washing walls and preparing to paint. I'm still kinda going crazy about choosing paint colors. I'm so worried I'll pick stuff I don't really like. Jake and Dale came over and did a little spackling (is that what it's called?), you know, filling in holes in the walls and stuff. Oh yeah and Wes has been working on the roof leak and bleaching mold in the attic also.

Caleb is doing awesome in his new bed. He's mostly been taking naps at the new house in a pack n play but he's had a couple good ones in the car bed. Bed time is going great. I spend some time reading with him and then put him in bed and read his Bible stories to him, them dim the light and pray with him and he gets himself under the covers and waves "nighty-night" and blows me kisses when I leave. He's even learning to say "I love you." Kinda. Oh and I've been telling him that I love him "very very very very" (and on and on) much and he repeats "very very very...." Oh how I love him!!! He has been doing some two year old tantrum stuff but overall he's such a delight to me. He's saying lots more words now, repeating a lot. He still loves to play with cars and he's crazy about flowers. And he loves animals and saying the sounds they make. Mom and I took him to the zoo a while back and he was in shock! Especially when he saw the first animal, a tiger. He literally stared with his jaw dropped, for a long time! And intermittently roared, then dropped his jaw again. It was SO funny and cute. And when he saw the elephants he made his elephant sound, tilting his head all the way back and looking straight up. Oh how I love spring and all that comes with it!! But I let him get sunburned today- oops! I'm a terrible mom! I got burnt too. Just wasn't thinking about that yet, you know? But he hasn't seemed to notice so maybe it will be okay.

Well, this is a very special time in my life and I'm so thankful and so blessed. Being the mom of tiny little kids is probably one of the most precious stages in all of life and I'm so glad to have a home to do it in. Especially seeing how Caleb loves it and how "at home" he feels. Thank you, Lord!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 23:11:44 GMT

Change of plans. Closing is tomorrow. Thanks for the early congrats!

quick update

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:10:37 GMT

Life has become such a whirlwind since we've moved back to the states. I'm hoping that when we get into our own house things will be a little calmer. If nothing else, that I'll be more organized. By the way, we close TOMORROW!! Yes, on April Fool's Day. I wonder if that's a good idea... And then we have quite a bit of work to do before we move in, which we hope to do by middle of May because that's when I'll be 38 weeks preggers and the baby could easily be born then and also that's when training starts for camp.

Caleb turned 2 yesterday and he's as sweet and precious to me as ever. He's picking up words like crazy now. I hope to post more of a detailed update on him and pictures too before too long. Patience, my friends, patience. I'm adjusting to a pace of life much faster than what I've been used to. I guess I need to learn to slow down. Anyway, we got him one of those car beds for toddlers and I think it's so great and he loves it too. But I'd really appreciate experienced tips on teaching him to stay in it, especially at nap time! He's always been a good napper and goes to bed easily but having the freedom to get out on his own is a bit too tempting for him. You know, do I check back every minute and put him back in or do I just shut the door and let him crash when he can't take it anymore, etc.?.?.? Please send advice! Thanks!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:10:49 GMT

I guess it's about time I update and tell you that.... WE GOT THE HOUSE!! Woo-hoo!! Ok, that was how I felt the first day. Since then it's been a bit stressful trying to figure out what we have to do to actually get it, that is close on it and get keys and make it truly ours. Since it's a HUD home it's complicated and could take a long time. But it turns out to be better than we understood in the beginning. We have to get quotes from contractors or suppliers of materials for all the work that is required to be done on the house and submit them and then we wait for HUD to process their end of the deal, which as we understand could take a couple months. All I want is to be in before camp starts cause if we don't make that then it might not be til fall. And this summer is going to be SO busy with Wes at camp all the time that it's just so important to be in the house, where we'll be super close to camp and also alone in our own space. We would get a lot more family/ couple time in together that way. So before we move in, we've got to get the floors down (hard wood so it could take a while), paint, fix roof, replace windows. Those are the main things. There's a few details like replacing kitchen sink and stove, oh yeah and tile. Maybe not just details. Well anyway, we're really happy about the house. It just might be really hard to get the work done in Wes's free time between the time we close and the start of camp (training starts middle of May). Me and my big belly probably aren't going to be down on the floor nailing wood in but I should be able to paint!!

Right now we're housesitting for a family in church that lives in a beautiful log home which happens to be near Wes's parents. That's nice cause we see them a little more for these two weeks and it's also nice to see what it's like to be a family where the wife stays home during the day with the kids and the husband comes home in the evening. Ah, sounds so picture perfect. That actually only happened once! We have so many plans in the evenings. Oh well! It's a farther drive too so it's really making us eager to get in that house that's CLOSE!!! Especially since we're driving separately all the time.

Do I sound too negative? I really am SO thankful. For the house, for our time here at the cabin, for everything that God is doing, for Wes's job... I'm just growing, as usual, in trusting God and handing worries to Him. Interestingly, our Bible study this week was about worshipping through times of waiting. I guess this is a time of waiting for me. Waiting for the house and being thankful today for what I have today. God is so good!

Please pray for us! (Wisdom for decisions, adjusting to working out of home husband, etc.) Thanks!!