the moment i said...

and god, now we're crashing.
i'm not letting myself sink into thoughts,
it's a bit dangerous for me to do.

you see...

i'm a weak, weak person.
when it really comes to truth,
i've got exposed written over my entire body.
and my heart is tattooed with my secrets,
my desires, my weakness, the ache,
and the damage across the beating mass,
i cannot fix this.

and neither could you.

don't feel like you failed.
for it was my faltered head,
and don't feel guilt,
or like you could have done more.
because i'm unpredictable.

yeah.
you didn't see this coming.


lay my head back in failure,
as tears crowd the corners of my eyes.
i'm thinking too, too much.
and my feelings are gathering,
in the curves of my head,
that i cannot reach.

my body is numb.
numb and gone.
but i've got a smile on my face,
until i remember..
that i hurt you.



i'm sorry, lightbug.

 

mmm... that's a real smile. <3


work is great.
i really, really like it.
closer to getting my tattoo.
mmhmm.

the tv is super loud right now.
that stresses me.
but i am going to bed soon.
no double tomorrow.
what a surprise.

my dog is at my feet.
and my girlfriend is in bed.
i will be going there soon.
i should have taken a shower.
but gosh, i'm so tired.
so i'm going to bed.
shower in the morning.

if you could ask me one question,
right now.
one for now.
what do you want to know?

they call me charm.ing... <3

mmm... side.way glances...


mmm.. the weather is beautiful.
in a big, serious way.
i love it so much.
with rain every so often,
i love both the cloudy, cool days...
and the slightly sunny, windy days.

{btw, both great for working patio at work.}

i decided on my first tattoo.
it's going to happen soon. very soon.
it'll be from an e.e. cummings poem.
like, the best love poem.
so on my arm (probably my right arm, forearm)

i carry your heart, i carry it in my heart

oh yes. this should be lovely.
so i am getting ready.
*smile*


------

love, down, broken and bruised.
i look to what i can never find.
always, and never am i in danger.
psh.
close your eyes,
and pretend to give in.
trust me,
it'll all come along in time.
oh in time.

------





ps:  those photos above are from may.  god, i want my hair like that again!
pss: it will be thursday.. <3

obviously.. you can see it all in my eyes..


ki.ss me in the ra.in again <3


anything else to add?
as of this moment,
playing: waking ashland "sing me to sleep"
work soon,
called in early.

wow. margaritas are delicious.
and lemon drops.
that guy makes them well.

looking foward to,
a night with my lightbug,
locked in our room...
playing in the dark.

but only she'll shine,
yeah,
she's my light.bug