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| Orange SpiralJust came back from the west coast and Montreal&Ottawa trip.
First day of work = very tiring.
A lot has happened since the last blog. I thought they were bad things at first (the usual things), but thankfully it ended up to be the most surprising thing this year. Maybe things take time. Sometimes a lot longer than expected. It just boggles my mind how things transpire sometimes and it gives meaning to "How sweet it is!" I'm lucky, right place at the right time, right scenario, right unfortunate events (haha), and so on and so forth. I'm happy and I am patient because I know what I will be waiting for. I never knew, but I'm glad that I finally had a chance to find out.
The orange spiral was really only a one-seater.
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| The list is almost complete or incomplete, depends how you view it. I'm surprised, excited, but also sad that people are leaving town for their own endeavours. I saw this coming, but so soon, it kind of caught me off guard. I've been meeting up with people lately, those that are leaving and with those that are still in town. It's a bit different, I guess now we cherish each other's friendship a bit more because you never know when is the next time paths will cross. Encounters that used to be every month will become an infrequent annual rendez-vous. I guess a part of me will go with them to wherever they're headed. I am who I am because of the people surrounding me - my family and friends. Best of luck to them all!
I've had several conversations lately with friends and it's really churning deep inside me that perhaps something is wrong with me. Not in an ill-fated way or a mental way, but just the way I approach things. Sometimes very lackadaisical, other times benign, and finally other times in a way even a kid may have a chuckle over. I don't know what I want sometimes. Sometimes I'm unrealistic. Sometimes I just don't get the message. Sometimes I wait for something that I well know will not come. Sometimes I'm stubborn. Sometimes...Sometimes...Sometimes I chase after a boat that's not even there, when in fact, there's another boat right next to me. But, I keep chasing after that boat. I've messed up many times before and have been ignorant. They must think, "Will, open your damn eyes!!!" or something along the lines of "Wow...I feel awful". I screwed up. I admit it.
Speaking of screwing up. If any of you heard the news or read this article in the star: http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/235225. Absolute screw up, idiot. An alarming rate of 35% of fatal accidents are still attributed by drunk driving. When I saw the newscast, I was just appalled. I used to ride my bike on the streets. I go running on the sidewalks of major streets. Sometimes the luck of the draw can really destroy everything. The irony is that this drunk will be out in a few years, whereas if I was the father, I would rather die. And, the even sicker part is if the drunk was some rich punk belonging to the financial upper-echelon of the city. Sickens me. http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/219249
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| Few things to comment on:
1) There are some people you see at most once a year. Often times, it's a great treat to see them and catch up. The conversations are usually pretty free-flowing as you have a whole year's worth of news/events. That aside is great. Being late for a rendezvous is NOT. And, by being late, I mean like 30+ minutes late for lunch for no legitimate reason. I have been late before...to poker, but everybody's late!
2) Things still seem to be in disarray. My sleeping schedule is a bit messed. My daily routine...well, I wouldn't call it that. There are no real clear-cut paths, answers, or decisions. Taking one step forward, backward, left/right and hope for the best. I don't want to get ahead of myself, at all. I've recently gone with the motto of: "Most things mean nothing."
3) Requirements from a person might be the most frustrating thing. "How could someone have such a requirement?!" It boggles my mind. Dare I say it, it borders being "anal".
4) People are leaving town soon or have already. In a few years, only a handful of people will be left, from my best estimate. It's reality and something we need to deal with...another part of growing up??? GAH!
5) I have been reading a book called "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. He narrates a few stories, explains it himself, and it sounds real. But, I just cannot grasp how one becomes Christian.
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| Cleve-land?A boring city from the looks of it. Once in the city, a confirmed boring city. Cleveland, that is. I went on a road trip with the folks a few weeks back to visit some relatives - my aunt and uncle, in particular. They've been married for a long while and their display of love for one another was so apparent - even for someone like me who lacks that type of vision. Watching her speak with others during this time really turned my head and made me realize how strong this woman really is. And, it is a reminder of how strong each individual in our extended family can be, and it starts from my folks: momma et poppa. It was a strong reminder for me in so many different ways. One of which is to always take things into perspective and make light of the situation. A boring city, but I gained so much.
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| In less than a week, there will be this imaginary heavy weight that will be lifted from my parents' shoulders. I will be graduating from university. Pretty huge weight lifted off my shoulders recently as well. So, it appears that things are finally moving forward at a relatively normal pace. So I thought. I revisited something yesterday and I realized I'm not really there. I've always had a problem figuring the little things out. I'm not good at reading myself or in general, anyone else. I feel like whenever I try to find out something about me, I'm often at a crossroad, teeter-tottering. It only gets worse when I try to figure other people out, their actions, their words, their connotations, etc. So, I still feel like I'm rather stagnant, that I'm dragging my feet waiting for something to happen. Sometimes it even gets pathetic to the point where a response is given and I'm left trying to figure out my next step(s).
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