| | why is it that when you have strong emotions that are ready to burst out, you can never explain them? And when you try, you stumble over your own words, and start rambling on, and never completly stating what it is that you need to stay? All you know is that what you have in your heart needs to come out in a more productive way than say, crying, or anger, or depression. That is what is going on right now, and I dont really have anyone of a sort that I can relay my thoughts to on that personal of a basis. I mean, what the fuck is up with that? To those I posted on today, this is directed towards you. You are the ones that are causing the bubble of emotion to reach the surface, and you are the only ones that I can open up to enough about this and be heard, YET, I cant. Impossibilities are in my way, too many stipulations, threats, discontented emotions, disbelief of me, anger....
I dont know. why is it still, the only ones that I truly love I cant contact, cant relay my feelings too? God I hate my life, and myself....I wanna just curl up into a ball, have everyone forget me, and wither away like a rose.
heh...the story of my life...that of a rose....I have my moment, and then I die, only to be either 1: saved and pressed in a book only to be remembered on certain occasions and then being remembered as someone who was good for a time, and then tossed, once the beauty had died, or 2: thrown away once I died, and started to smell.
That sounds about right. So to all who read this and know what I am talking about, And some that dont know what I am talking about, and you know who) I love you all, and if I am not heard from by any of you for a while, dont worry, I will be living in this shell of a body that is withering away.
peace out
keep your faith
keep your dreams alive
dont die....like I have, dont give up your dreams, dont let anything, or anyone stop you from doing what you want, and getting what you deserve, which, ultimately, is happiness, you all deserve happiness. And if I could, I would take all of your hurt, pain, discontent, and everything in your life that causes you to cry, and place it on my shoulders so that you could achieve your happiness even sooner. you DESERVE it.
-josh |
