what's up pimpss???

okkkkk for all you loserrsss that have no life that check my xanga each and everyday..

hahaaaaa i have made a new xangaaaa...

and to get it, you gotta IM me..   or you can leave me a commenttt...and i will IM youuuu if i feel the need to give it to you...

and if i do like you /// want you to have it, you will not ..

hahaaaaaa laterrrrr.

EDIT GUYSSSS ////

I never thought you would do this to me, I hope you're happier now, and everything I said I meant, I guess you didn't, I can't see my life without you, you meant soo much to me, and still do...

I have no idea what to do, what to do at night, on weekends, I don't wake up to text messages, I don't go to sleep to them, I mean everything changed in like 5 seconds, it hurts soo bad to look at your pictures, to look at the shirt you made me, that necklace you bought me made my birthday, now I can't even wear it because it hurts too bad, I never thought I could go through something so hurtful, I guess this is what happens when you fall in love, everything was great, I wouldn't have changed anything, and to think about you not in my life, not hearing your voice, kills me, only time will tell I guess....

My heart has never been shattered until last night, now I want to curl up in a hole and die...

wow, i read that in someone's xanga. she doesn't know me very well but i have seen where she has looked at my xanga once or twice, and she is like bestfriends w/ allen's new girlfriend..

however, i know exactly how that feels..

staying up all night cryingggg or waking up out of nowhere in the middle of the night and realizing that he is no longer there and just start busting out crying; not knowing where to turn or what to do.. having to take every picture of you and him down ..bc everytime u look at them you do just want to die, not being able to wear the necklace or ring he bought you ..bc it just brings back too many memories.. sitten there for hours wondering why he did this...or wondering what you did so wrong.. thinking how he coulda said all he did, but then just broke up w/ you ..outta nowhere.. it can really do a number on you, worse if u havent got any friends bc you blew  off the plans u had w/ them on that one saturday night just for him.. you quit returning their calls bc you were busy with him.. at least she does have friends still to help her threw it.. i hadda go out && make all new friendssss. i hadda get threw it the hard way, still it ended up ..me hating him ..maybe it will be better for her. hopefully, bc he even though  i dont have a clue to who she is, or what she is about..no one should have to waste 5 more months loving someone when they don't love you back..it took me that long to realize i didnt need him ..

love fucking sucksssss.
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blah.

wow, it's been awhile..

i told ya once i got mah insurance and all of that i wouldnt have time for all this internet shitttt, guess that's what happensss.

ugh i'm so bored right now, so i got on the computer, got on xanga, bc no one is on aim worth talking too, and now i just feel like writting even though i have nothing what so ever to say, i just feel like writting .. i'm really nfdsanfjmksn right now, lol nfdsanfhal isnt an actual feeling or whateverrr, but in my case i guess its a feeling i over use a bit. or i guess i'm just saying i dont have a clue to how i feel really.. lol here lately i have realized alot of different stuff that i actually never took the time to think about but hell when ur sitting in ur car, at a red light ..you tend to start thinking about stuff, sometimes deep stuff that you have never took the time to think about beforeeee, weird i know.

however i dont really feel like getting into the stuff i think about.. blah it depresses me..

so um i'm moving on..

well for you guyss who don't know, which i'm sure everyone knows, i'm back at unaka.. wooooo, it hasnt been that bad except for mah gay ass spanish teacher that i would loveee to kick in the face a couple of timessss. lol and a couple of girls i hate.

haha .. um yesss, i havent wrecked my car yet either...whooooo preeeetty pumped about that..

i feel as if sammons is taking over my life even though i know it isnt. i hate working there. i need to attempt to find a new job, just havent got off my lazy ass to do so yet.  i will soon though. when i get tired of working w/ hot dogs blahh..

they make me sickkkk.

why are some people so ignorant???  why are they so stubborn ??? why can't people just shut the fuck up and go die?? do the world a favor ..gah ..

now that's out.

i'm at a low right now. what a fucking understatement. this is so much more then a low. i cant get out of this.  ahhh i hate my lifeeeee. i hate it. i hate it.

so um anywaysss. danny hasnt called me in like ..5 dayssss, so i'm guessing we are no longer together or wtfe. blahhh. however, tonight..// here lately ive been hanging out w/ someone... and like he is a good friend.. and like.. i never really pictured him this way ..but tonight stuff happened and we kissedd not too sure on how i feel about that..is some wayssss, i liked it??? and in some wayss i was like no no no no noooooo? wtf am i doing??? we arent suppose to be like this. idk though. im really confused about all that right now..i dont know weather to let it go ..and let whatever happens happen..or put a stop to it right now.. i dont know right now.

this is sucha random entry..who the fuck cares though..

another thing i have realized .. i'm scared of alot of things..

i'm scared to take drugs, never have..never will. i'm just cool like that. i mean you hear ppl talking about doing all these drugssss and how they think it makes them sound cool, it doesnt. it makes them sound stupid as fuckkkk.

i'm scared my brother is never going to amount to anything in his lifeeee.. i mean i may not get along w/ my brother the least bit, but i do care about him and what he does w/ his life..

i'm so scared of life after high school, i dont know what im going to do or how i'm going to make it..i have always had someone there to help me through whatever i went through.. and its going to be a bigggg turn around for me when i leave highschool, i'll be on my own...and im not too sure how that's gonna work outttt.

to some extent i think i have fucked up my life past the point of fixingggg.

i also have realized that i never really get over stuff 100%.. i just learn to live without it .. and hide the fact that i care as much as i really do ..

umm this is not a picture post, bc well basically i have no new picturessss. sucksss for you. lol sorry if this entry does not intrest you && you just spent 15 min. of ur time reading it. better post's w/ picturessss soon to come.. maybeeee.

comment guyssss, well you know ..who the fuckkkkkk caresss. do whateverrrr.

 okkk so um sorry for the lack in updatesss.. my bad.

 likeee the little heart thinggss i of course stole them from shae ha, but preeetty sure she won't careee.

 so um you guyss did preettty good about the whole commenting deal. proud of you all .. but you gotta keep it up..or i will stop updatingggg.

 so i got a job at sammonsss. it was alright the first two nightss but making hot dogs get quite old and boringgg. ew and they make me sick..they make me think about pigs..but seein how that's what they are made out of..no wonder..

 so here lately i have been hanging out w/ ericaaaa and carrieee quite alot. lol this weekenddd, i was w/ ericaaaa friday ..i saw her saturday after work && then sunday we went to the mall and then ..monday i was suppose to go shopping with her but seein how my parents were being complete asses.. i didn't get to, but that's ok, because she came by my house before workkk. then shae stopped by with her new pimp ass ride. and we went out for awhileee. then ..i went out w/ nicho later that nighttttt. tomarrow.. i am hanging out w/ ericaaa when i get off workkk. soo preeeetty much ericaaaa and carrie are mah new sidekicksss which is gooddddd.

 i think after i get paid, me and ericaaa are going to start going to the fitness centerrrr. lol it will be fun. we were plannin on doing it last year b4 summer, but i never got around to really talking to my parents about it. they said i could..but you know how it goesss. but we are going to for sure do it this timeeeee. haha

 im expecting for this weekend to be fun, seein how i'm going to get my license tomarrowww. lol preeetty pumped about that of course. which i don't know if i'm going to be able to drive or not bc of effin insurance.. blahhhh .. so i'm not sure if this weekend will be that funfilled or not.

 i went to bristol to get the code for my radio and now it worksss so i'm also pumped about that ...

 i need to get some hardcoreee sleep.. this week has been.. work til 9:30 then staying up til about 2:30am doing homework then awaking about 5:30am to take a showerrr, then repeating this same process overr, it has just about killed me.. however tonight, i am def. going to be sleeping earlyyy.

 my speakersss are fucked up for some apparent reason and its really starting to piss mee offf...  agrrr, i can't even listen to the music to make me a new cd.. blahhhhh..

 so i'm going out w/ nicho tonight for a little bitt..i'm awaiting her call as of noww.. hmm she took noah to chucky chessseee whooo! she wanted me to go w/ but stupid me wasnt aroundddd before she left..   suckssss.

 i just fucking realized how much i fucking miss kelli fucking taylor, i miss the fun we use to have when we'd hang out.. hopefully i will get to see her soon.

  i made two new friendsss this week ha, go meee! kathleen and amandaaa,  i have 2nd period w/ them now and they are soooo awesome out the ass.. haha idk ..

 so .. um i'm awaiting some picturess at the moment ..i'll only have like 2 or somethingggg not many, didnt really get around to taking any.. blahhh i'm sorry. i'll have another big picture update like the last one..for sureeee ...promiseeee.

 picturesssssss...

ahhhh i want my long hair back, i'd do anything ..

i'll have new ones laterrr on.

EDiT -- 9:12pm --

so umm def. thinking abt doing something dramatic w/ mah hair..

maybe going completelyyyy blondeeee.

or maybeee just complete blonde on top w/ black under ...

how about you comment on this && tell me *y0ur* opinion

it will help, promiseeeee.

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so...no more updates until i get my usual comments back. 18 fucking commentss, what the hell is wrong w/ you people..honestly?! i use to get alot of hits on this thing a day.. ughhh so until i get at least 25 comments no more updatessss. comment biatchessss.

hmmm i'm crash dieting for this whole upcoming week. lol i need lose some weight. && the whole crash dieting deal worksssss great sorry if u don't agree.

last night. okay so shae came over && we hung for a bit then took mah mom's van out. lol so um here we go down the road bumping in her blue mini van how awesome is that. lol well we come back && get ready && go out. lol sounds fun huh? um no not really but at least we got outta the house..right?? lol we were plannin to take mah eclipse out, but where i'm sucha a dork && go sit in it && bump for hours in mah drive way, it was dead as a door knob. lol sorry im sucha dorkkk gah

so um when i turn 17, i will partake in getting mah nose peirced if it's the last thing i do. lol seein how mah mother got her's down 3-4 weeeks ago.. I WILL GET MINE DONE.

ummm i've got an asssss loaddd of picturessss i will post at the end of this entry ..if i even get done. damnnn i have been working on this one entry for about 2 hourssss. pathetic huh? believe so.

well the fair was all last week and i didn't get to make my way over there, which sucks ..but hell they are always next yearrrrr. lol

so um i'm pretty sure you should be enjoying mah updates && what not..bc after i get mah license which is in 2 weeks..i might not update as much && i might have a few picturessss here && there. so please enjoy && leave the loveee man, leavee the love

me and shae and diana had a funny asss convo last nightttt. but for some reason i can't member..but we were laughingggg our asses off like about 30 min. lol histrical ..

also..me && diana went && got some cheddar rounds this morninggg, and you know we were on the way back to mah house well she was going on a road she didnt know well, but however i knew it ..well being the dumbass i am ..i forgot to tell her to turn left so she went straight and i'm like um diana and she goes did i just miss the turn and i go LOL yeahhhh and she goes damnn so she turns on the next left which just happens to be a dead end..well ..she pulls up in this person's drive way && backs her lil merry ass out and just happens to run over a mail box!! HAHA  i turn and look at her and go OH GAH, i thought you hit something..and she was very calm and proceed's to tell me she did so i was like no u didn't bc she was so calm and she goes YES and i look back and sure enough there was a limp mailbox ..so we decided to ZOOM off!! hahaaaaaa! soooo funny!

how many of you have sit there && looked at a knife or that bottle of asprin and thouht..it's that easy. think of all the pain that goes away ..but then you think of all the pain you'd cause and that's honestly the only reason i wouldn't do it. i wouldn't wanna hurt anybody. as much as i try to front like i don't give a shit about anyone..any of you that know me, know that i care wayyyy to much to a certain extent , which is prolly why i'm a emotional fucking wreck.

i'm trying to change myself lately..trying to be more.. i don't know how to explain it. i'm just trying to change because i don't really like the person i've become. i want to be someone i like and someone other people likeee..because i don't seem to be a very liked person. buttt then again i don't really care if i'm liked or not. but whateverrrrrrrr i want to changeee.

 because I want to change .. so be prepared for a new azzieeee

well it's 1:47 and i'm pretty sure i'm done w/ this entry but the rant was just the beginning of something new. i don't think i'm okay..but i'm not horrible ..but i know for a fact that i'm just plain ..not okay and i need to figure out why. so from now on, i'm just gonna type and type until i'm done. i don't care if it makes sense. i don't care if you even read it or not. i dont even care if you love and i don't care if you hate it. it's the only thing i can thinkg of to make me figure this out. so, here's what you need to do, deal with it.

picturesssssss..

who knows what the fuck i'm doing

that is all ...

enjoy..

now member if i don't get more or at least then 25 comments no more updates until i do

EDiT --- 3:17am ---

okkkk well i had a longgg ass entry but the fucked up thing froze && i have new picturesss, i will have a new update as soon as i feel like it. but expecting though it will be soon

okayyyy so yes my computer has been fixed && i am back for now. well actually i got a new computer, i think i fucked up the other one for good this time, this one just dont have shit on it. no songs, no pictures. nothing. kinda sucks ..but i think ima put mah other hard drive in this computer so i can have everything back you know... lol

so um yess i got mah car, wow. its great. i'm in love w/ it. ohh for you guys who don't know i got a white 01 eclipse. i'll post a pic of it..later on.

i got mah name put on the side of mah window - Azziie - in purple. lol idk what else to get put of there though, if u have any ideas comment me ..

i have pictures of me && carrie. i have had them for awhile, but i'm not sure if i can get them on mah computer, i gotta check && see if i'm able to, if so then i will have them on here at the end of this post..

ummm well i put in an application at inglesss && they have yet to call me back. so i guess ima call them tomarrow danggg i needa job for gas && shit now. lol

i get mah license sept. 9th. preeetty pumped about that ..

lol oh yeahhh for your FYI ..

i'm back at hampton, hampton rocks man. lol hv was just a lil different. lol a lil too different, && its alot funner. LOL i have hardly had homework. lol

lllllllliiiiiiiffffffffeeeeeee iiiisssss ggggaaayyyyyy!!!!

so um idk, i guess thas all ima update for today, comment more you fucks ...11 effin comments wow. i know u guys can do better then that. loveee.

Pictures :

ohhh lookie its brandiiii haha

first day of school, it was like majorly hot, ugh i thought i was going to die && oh yess that's mah cousin that i lost touch w/ ..for like ..80 yearsss

hahaa carrie boo !! who knows what she is doing??

us attempting to take a picture.. didnt work to well.

me && paigey poo ..

&& now a picture of mah car

whooooo. you know you wish you had it hahaaaaa. comments biotchesss!