yo.

omg. my life is so fucking shitty right now. the only person that has ever been there for me through everything is leaving. she just called me, and i havent talked to her in atleast a year, she told me that she loved me and missed me so much, but shes moving to ohio. i honestly dont know what i am going to do without her. all of my sandy pines friends know who she is, kelli. she was up with me every weeekend the previous summer. no one understands how close we were. its like a part of me is just missing now. and nobody can fill that emptyness. i dont think i will ever be whole again. and i know we wont see eachother again because shes moving far away. i dont fucking know what to do. i just realized how much she means to me. and i dont want her to move. as if my life wasnt already shitty enough, this has to happen. i thought she was calling so talk to me cuz we havent in so long, but it was probably the worst news ever. im gonna miss you so much kelli!  i love you girl!

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theres some things that i regret, some words i wish had gone unsaid. some starts that had some better endings. been some bad times i've been through, damage i cannot undo. some things i wish i could do all over again. but it really doesnt matter. life gets that much harder. it makes you that much stronger. and every tear that had to fall from my eyes, everyday i wondered how i'de get thru the night. every change life has thrown me, im thankful for every break in my heart. theres mistakes that i have made, some chances i just threw away. some roads, i never should have taken. theres been some signs i didnt see, hearts that i hurt needlessly. some wounds, that i wish i could have one more chance to mend. but it doesnt make a difference. the past cant be written. you get the life your given.

hope lifes been good to you since you've been gone. im doin fine now. i've finally moved on. its not so bad, im not that sad. im not suprised just how well i survived. im over the worst, and i feel so alive. i cant complain, im free again. and it only hurts when im breathing. my heart only breaks when its beating. my dreams only die when im dreaming. so, i hold my breath--to forget. dont think im lyin around cryin at night. theres no need to worry. im really alright. i've never looked back, as a matter of fact--it only hurts when i breathe.

i wont talk, i wont breathe. i wont move till you finally see that you belong with me. you might think i dont look. but deep inside the corner of my mind im attached to you. im weak, its true. cuz im afraid to know the answer. do you want me too? cuz my heart keeps falling faster. i've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing thats true. so i will not hide. its time to try anything to be with you. you dont know what you do, everytime you walk into the room. im afraid to move. im weak, its true. im just scared to k now the ending. do you see mee too? do you even know you met me?

you && i collide...