Ok so I am still scared of my biggest fear coming true.  And some things are still bothering me, but I am better now.  I talked to one of my bestest friends and things are good with us now.  Sometimes when people lie it's just because they want to protect you from being hurt for no reason.  And I know thats why my friend lied to me but it still hurt.  It's all good now though, because I don't think that person will lie to me anymore and I understand why that person did although I don't think it was right.  But we talked about that and some other things and I know things will stay the same but I think they might get better.  Let's hope they get better

It's amazing how much influence this person has on me.  See there is this bitch bothering me and ordinarily I would make her wish she never came to Sam Houston.  But my friend thinks I should just let it be and not bother with it, and you know i think my friend is right.

It feels so good to be able to talk to my friend again and I am glad I was finally able to say some of the things that have been on my mind.  My friend has got to be the most understanding person ever!

I trust my friend, and they have told me that nothing happened and that nothing ever will.  And I believe my friend.  Like I said I trust them with anything.  So those of you that think otherwise please keep it to yourself and stop trying to cause problems.  I have enough without doubting what my friends tell me!

Ever think the one thing you fear the most in the world could come true?

What do you do when you make a mistake and it not only affects your life but the life of someone else?

What happens when you have made a promise to do one thing no matter what, but now that it comes down to it you really not only would you be messing up your life but that of someone you care about?  Do you keep your promise?

I am so scared I have no one to share this secret with. I can see my world tumbling down in front of me and I just pray my greatest fear does not come true.  Not for my sake but that of someone else's.

Wow big mistake!

Funny how you never realize the mistake until after you do it.  I trusted!  I should have known better, I should have known the words I thought were true would all be lies.  My one mistake, is like the biggest mistake of my whole little world.  Why do I keep forgiving?  Why do I let the lies keep coming?  I tell myself that I don't care and 99% of the time I don't.  It's that 1% of the time when I know it's a lie and I just want the truth but the lie continues that I care about.  What is a girl to do?  I have given everything from my kindness and love to my forgiveness for the pain that is inflicted daily.  I have closed my eyes to the lies and looked the other way.  What else am I to do?  How long should I be blind and allow myself to be abused? Show I isolate myself?  Should I distance myself from the mistake?  But is that the same as running?  I am scared to death, and I want to talk.  But who do I trust anymore? 

I have realized just how big that mistake was and I hope to GOD I never make it again.  I hope that it remains my little secret and that no one ever finds out what an idiot I am.

Things are great! (Wish that were true)

If you are tired of hiding and pretending what do you do?